A customer asks an assistant if a kettle is suitable for vegetarians. Instead of laughing in the customers face and telling them in an overly sarcastic tone "Of course its not, that plastic shell there was made from pig fat, the heating element was made from cows feet and the power cord was made from duck intestines" He just shrugs "dunno"
A customer asks Arnold to order some new brake disks for his car. Arnold replys with a smile "certainly sir, I'll just order them for you right now, they'll be here tomorrow at 8am, come along whenever you wish to pick them up, and for a very low fee we can even have them professionally fitted by our highly trained mechanics" So the customer books his car in, the mechanics break the seatbelt holder and drain the brake fluid, all for the very low price of �300. The customer takes his car away, as he pulls up to a set of lights, he applys his brakes which dont work, hits the car in front, flys through the windscreen, hitting the car in front himself and killing the poor chap. Arnold then salvages the car and sells it on.
On a Monday a customer with a chocolate milk fetish asks to order 5003 bottles of chocolate milk (based on a true story, seriously). He is told that they'll be in tomorrow but when the customer goes to collect them, his 5003 bottles arent in. He complains for half and hour and is told to come back tomorrow, he returns and is told his 5003 bottles arent in, he complains for half an hour and is told they'll be in tomorrow, this goes on all week until Monday where again he comes in to order 5003 bottles of chocolate milk. The cycle repeats. Occasionally they send in 2000 bottles though.
Arnold tells a buyer that the car they bought will be road taxed on Friday when they come to pick it up. The customer picks up his car, drives around in it then gets a letter from the DVLA saying naughty naughty, no tax and gets landed with a fine and a big yellow clamp. He goes back to Arnold who tells him "well its your own dumb fault for not checking dumbass!"
A memeber of staff finds some out of date stock, he takes it to his manager who tells him to take it to someone else, that someone else doesnt want it, he goes back to his manager who just shrugs so he bins it. The store manager finds it in the bin, shouts at the department manager, who blames the staff member who binned the stock, who gets bitched at for not following waste procedure that no one bothered telling him about.
Arnold sells a car to someone, which falls apart within days. The buyer takes the car back to Arnold and shouts at a salesman for a while, the salesman keeps the customer talking a for a few minutes with phrases like "the reason your exhaust fell off was probably because you went over a speed bump too fast." "The reason your engine exploded was because you over revved it." and "The reason your doors all fell off is because you slammed them too hard." While this is going on the manager sneaks up behind the customer and hits him on the back of the skull with a monkey wrench, takes him to the garage, hacks him up and puts him in black bin bags, breaks up his car for parts, tosses him in whats left of the car and has the car crushed.
A customer comes in to complain about orange juice tasting bad. The customer service desk staff dont have a clue what hes talking about so they call for the manager, who looks at the customer with a confused look for a while periodically using phrases such as "yes I know, its terrible isnt it" and "I can understand your concern" while thinking "Wonder what the wifes cooking for tea?" The customer gets their refund (or most of it) and the manager looks at the orange juice and thinks "wow, I didnt even know we sold that sort of thing..."
There is however one situation in which Arnold Clark and Morrisons could have teamed up:
