No Laughing Matter

| Scene | We open up the scene backstage at the final house show before WrestleMania, in a town near Kansas City. We go backstage, where we see, of all people, Android #18 sitting around, looking like she's meditating, when we see Mr. Man of all people walking up to her.

| Android #18 | Oh God. What the hell do you want?

| Scene | Mr. Man looks at Eighteen with somewhat of a perverted smirk, before looking down away from her.

| Mr. Man | You know, your boy, White Tiger, Jeff Payne, he sure does talk a lot of shit. And you know it's kinda irritating to hear him talk, when half the time he can't even get a decent match done. But, the again, he has beaten you like 30 times, so he obviously has done something right.

| Android #18 | You know, I'd love to stay and burn your ass for the, what 300th time? But really, unlike you, I have a WrestleMania main event to prepare for, so, can you please get out of my way? Thank you.

| Scene | Mr. Man then watches Eighteen walk past him, but before shoe completely leaves, he stops her with his voice.

| Mr. Man | You know, Jennifer, it's funny. Funny how at Chill Factor I had a three year dream realized. A three year dream that took nothing but my sweat, blood, and tears, and made me realize them by becoming World Heavyweight Champion. But since then, you know what, I'll admit, while both times it either took a Cage or some Canadian wanna-be to beat me, you beat me, and shattered my dreams Jennifer. But, now, I got a chance to realize them again, to sleep even better than ever, and actually enjoy this dream, by becoming Mr. Money in the Bank, and the only way to do that, I gotta win at WrestleMania.

| Android #18 | And why would you come to me? I could care less, me and you are done as far as in the ring goes. Why would you even bother me now, so close to my match at WrestleMania? And don't call me Jennifer.

| Mr. Man | Look, at WrestleMania, me and you are both on the outside looking in. People are jealous of me to the point that they can't stand seeing me becoming Mr. Money in the Bank, so they just neglect to mention me, something that's gone on through-out my whole career. And honestly, Jen--- Eighteen, who the hell believe you're actually gonna win at WrestleMania? I mean personally, I'd rather have Hayden win, that way when I become Mr. Money in the Bank, I have an easy match, but the fact is, you're an underdog for the first time in your career.

| Scene | Mr. Man looks Eighteen, who actually stops in her tracks, looking back to Mr. Man.

| Mr. Man | Last year, at WrestleMania 4, I was in this exact same match, but because of you, I had to realize my dream by working hard. I for one, am tired of working hard, Eighteen, and I need that easy road to the main event where I belong. The truth is, Jennifer, I need a World title back, I need the Undisputed title, and I need the Money in the Bank as win for me. What you need to know is, when I win that briefcase, and believe me, I am winning that briefcase, you should hope you do not win.

| Android #18 | Now, why do you say that Manny?

| Mr. Man | Because, it's simple. See, I will not give anything away, so let's just say, right now, that I may, or may not cash in my Money in the Bank, directly after your match.

| Scene | Eighteen then does a huge laugh, a laugh so big that it pisses Mr. Man off when it is said and done.

| Android #18 | And really, what makes you think you'll even win the match? Who the hell have you beaten lately? Hell, I've beaten you over and over again, and I know, no doubt, if anyone wins, it won't be you.

| Mr. Man | Jennifer, Eighteen, whatever the hell you want me to call you. You see, all my opponents at WrestleMania, they have nothing on me. Look at someone like David Hybrid, who has all the potential in the world, but the fact is, he doesn't deserve to be in this match Jennifer. He has done nothing so far to impress me, but nearly defeating Predator at Last Stand, when the fact is, anyone could beat Predator. David Hybrid, he's just the crash test dummy for this match, and I promise, I'll make short work on him, to the point he'll never, ever, forget this WrestleMania.

| Scene | Eighteen laughs once again, annoying Mr. Man to the point he just stares at her before she stops.

| Android #18 | There you are with your cliche's again. You did the same thing with me at the Royal Rumble, saying you're gonna make me wish I never went in your match, and how I'll never forget it.

| Mr. Man | Cliche's!? You wanna talk about cliche's Jennifer, look over at Ciaran Michaels. The man is a living cliche. His whole career was nothing but a cliche. The past year, he's been on a "roller coaster ride to the top", he has "fought hard from deep down inside", he is trying to "win the big one." I may repeat myself from time to time, but Ciaran Michaels is just a cliche. I know he hasn't had the balls to show up yet, and I don't blame him when he's facing me in a match, but the fact is, he knows I am gonna end his chase to the top.

| Scene | Mr. Man smirks now, looking towards Eighteen who really doesn't look like she's paying attention.

| Mr. Man | I understand, Eighteen, I understand you have no interest in what I say, but really, I am the perfect candidate for that Money in the Bank briefcase. I am a future Hall of Famer, I am a former World Champion, I am in the best shape of my life, and who else in that match can honestly say that? I know some talk about heart, but really, nobody has more heart than me, because let's face it, I have worked hard my whole career to get where I am today.

| Android #18 | You know, you really can annoy me sometimes, but you're not the only one in the best shape of their lives. I mean, look at Nero, he has shown up already and has brought his best to the ring, and I don't even like Zero, but, I like him more than I like you.

| Mr. Man | So wait, you're comparing me to Nero? Nero Phoenix? Jennifer, all the man has done in the past week in a half was have himself a little acid trip about Oz. Nero Phoenix may be in good shape, but he hasn't said one word about the match, except maybe, maybe, how I'm a dick as a Warlock. Nero Phoenix, he's going to fail at WrestleMania, he's going to fail climbing that ladder, and he's going to fail at retrieving that briefcase. He wants to show that he's not a transitional champion, when the fact of the matter is, he has done nothing but prove he is.

| Scene | Mr. Man looks over at Eighteen with another perverted smirk, which she of course almost burns him for, before Mr. Man continues.

| Mr. Man | I know I shouldn't be one who talks about a transitional championship reign, but let's face it, at least in my match, I was screwed by you, twice. But Nero, he lost in a TLC match to, of all people, Johnny Chaos, and lost his sub-sequential rematch to, of all people, Shawn Ashlocke. The difference between me and him, is the fact that now I have a chance to redeem myself after your two screw jobs, Nero is about a year and a half too late. But Jennifer, Nero won't win, not by a long shot, not by pretending he was in Oz, and especially not by facing THE Gold Standard in professional wrestling today.

| Android #18 | You do realize, you pretty much experienced the same reign as Nero, albeit only a couple of days longer? Why would you even compare yourself to that?

| Mr. Man | Look, enough about Nero, I already told you, I'm better than, therefore my reign was more important. Besides, he's got an ally in this match, Chris Hart, midcard superstar. Jen, at least Nero Phoenix is a decent singles competitor, Chris Hart is just some mid-card, nearly-decent tag team wrestler, who's only big gripe at fame was when Law carried him to the tag team titles. I myself find it a huge mistake that Chris Hart is even in this match. What has he done recently to deserve this? Exactly, nothing. Meanwhile, I was getting screwed by a cage and James Ceno in losing to you to get this shot.

| Scene | Eighteen just laughs again, angering Mr. Man to the point he just puts his hand on his forehead and shakes his head.

| Android #18 | I beat you fair and square both times, and you know it, so, stop with the bitching.

| Mr. Man | No, I will not stop bitching. I deserve to be in the main event at WrestleMania, not you. I am the Gold Standard of professional wrestling, I should not be involved in a match with a bunch of has-beens, fluke artists, and no-showers. I am a former World Heavyweight Champion, I am the uncrowned World Heavyweight Champion, I am tired of everyone trying to take my spot and holding me back. You don't understand what it's like to be a laughing stalk because some little bitch like you took my title and stole it like you deserved it.

| Scene | Eighteen looks at Mr. Man with a glare, before opening up her hands and thrusting at Mr. Man, releasing a fireball which would hit Mr. Man's face, had he not have ducked.

| Mr. Man | Fine, I get your point Jennifer, maybe I am being a little overdramatic, but I still stand by what I said. It's not like any of my five opponents can say the same, they've got nothing besides their names to make me think any of them have a shot. And you know, I tried to give some of them credit before, but right now, let's face it, why would they deserve any recognition from me? They have done nothing so far that makes me even semi-impressed by them, damnit. But still, I can't help but feel right now I've forgotten someone semi-important from this match, and it's really making me think hard.

| Android #18 | Ugh, jeez, I dunno, he's probably the biggest threat you have in the match? You called him my boy? A guy who's climbed the ladder more times than you have? You know, White Tiger?

| Scene | Mr. Man smirks on with a dumb-founded look, which looks to make Eighteen almost as mad as she was earlier.

| Mr. Man | I'm just playing, I know who White Tiger is. Believe me, the man is an idol to this company, and when you think eWe, you think White Tiger. Hell, when you think WrestleMania, you think White Tiger, I get that. But, you know, here's something I don't get. How does a man that's so overrated, over-hyped, and over-exposed each and every week get so many pushes, get so many title reigns, get so many chances at getting to the top, getting shoved down people's throats for days in and days out, and still be considered one of the, if not the biggest wrestler in the eWe? And, I know he's your boy Jennifer, but how the hell does everyone consider him to be the biggest threat in this match, when last month, he couldn't even get past Law. But then again, you couldn't get past Law, and you stole the World title from me.

| Scene | Eighteen again looks disgruntled, looking to light up her hands, which sends Mr. Man back in defense.

| Mr. Man | Okay, okay, I got it. But, what I'm saying is simple. White Tiger is shoving himself way to deep down the fans and my throat, and I for one am tired of it. He says I called him old, but that's not the case. I mean, sure, he's not exactly young, but that's not my motive to bring something everybody already knows. My motive here is too point out the fact that White Tiger's era in holding this company on his shoulder is over. He doesn't need to carry this company on his shoulder anymore, he's got people like me to carry it these days. It's no longer the era of White Tiger facing some boss' daughter fucking ego, or facing some Australian asshole, it's no longer needed for that, and White Tiger has overstayed his welcome. Basically, White Tiger is no longer the top dog in the eWe, not anymore, and damnit, why should he be? Because that belogns to people like me, Jennifer, not has-beens like you or White Tiger.

| Scene | Mr. Man just smiles at Eighteen, who looks like she's gonna burn his ass up again, but Mr. Man continues.

| Mr. Man | I know, Eighteen, I'm over-dramatic, and this isn't about you. But you see, for the past three years since coming to the eWe, all I've heard from everyone was how great White Tiger is, was how he is a living legend. And I used to be naive and believed them, but after I beat him last October, I realized once and for all, he was no longer what he was made out to be, he was weak. And before I got my big one last December, White Tiger used to be the measuring stick of wrestling, the original Gold Standard if you will, but what he needs to realize, is that you are looking at the new Gold Standard of pro-wrestling, and that is me, not him. As far as I'm concerned, sure he is good, but he is no longer great, he is no longer the top dog, he is simply just another face trying to live up to a legacy that's been played out over and over again.

| Android #18 | Alright, I'm about to burn you again, so, get to the point before I actually do it.

| Mr. Man | I understand what you're going about, but WrestleMania, it isn't just about your boy, Jennifer, Eighteen, whatever the hell you want to be called. It's about all five of my opponents, who all want this opportunity become Undisputed Champion, and knowing this match will either prove it or not. And whether it's your boy White Tiger, it's Ciaran Michaels, it's David Hybrid, Nero Phoenix, Chris Hart, any of them, they need to realize, I will always be one step ahead. And my point is this, Jennifer, you better hope you don't win, because if you did, like I said, I may or may not cash in that briefcase once your done, because I know you will go to hell in that Last Person Standing. But that's after your match, what I'm trying to say is, none of my opponents, they have nothing on me, they will never be near the level of greatness I have. I am the Gold Standard when it comes to that ring, and if anyone in that match wants to win, they best try and follow, because there is no way I will allow any of them to win. Money in the Bank, it's mine, Jennifer, because this is the present, and my opponents are living in the past, and the Future, the Future is here.

| Scene | Mr. Man now smiles, before walking away from Eighteen, who looks on with a sign of relief, which in turn ends this scene and this roleplay.