Our roleplay begins with a scary site. We see a man in a working outfit who is dragging a little girl by her hair down into his cellar. He throws her down onto a dirty dog sized pillow. As a giant boiler sets to flame behind him, the man begins to unbuckle himself, licking his lips, causing the viewer to be disgusted and want to kill, torture, and hate the man. Suddenly though, before his pants can hit the floor, we hear calls from outside. “Fred! There he is! In the boiler room!” they all call out, sounding like the angry mob they’re sure to be. In a panic, the man we now are exposed to as Freddy Krueger struggles to get himself presentable, and to hide the girl. No such luck though, as the door at the top of the stairs busts open, and seas of parents rush in and tackle Freddy. The wrestle with him but eventually get him outside. They hang him up in a lynching style, and we hear Freddy proclaim that one day they will all pay… right as they pull the chord, and he drops in a strangling suspension, Mr. Man opens the door to this room that the movie is being watched in. Danny Danger, who was sitting at the edge of his seat, jumps up in fright.

Danny Danger: What the fuck, Manny?!

Manny just laughs at Danny, who now stands on the sofa.

Mr. Man: God, you’re such a pussy, dude.

Danny now climbs down off the couch, and walks over to Manny, doing that black people handshake everyone’s doing nowadays.

Mr. Man: So yeah, what the hell did I tell you? Because you decided to be dumbass heel Danny, you lost the Royal Rumble, and now can’t main event Wrestlemania. And now, I’m main eventing Xplosion, and you’re opening it. No0b.

Danny Danger: Whatever, dude. I was facing 29 people, and you? You were up against some old cunt, and who lost? Not the old cunt, but the young dick.

Mr. Man: OK, neither of us really did our best…

Danny Danger: Did our best? Fuck that, I put out 4, you did 3.

Mr. Man: OK… I didn’t really do my best, but regardless, who’s facing some new jobber whilst I face the one and only Dan Taylor?

Danny Danger: Dan Taylor? That overrated fucker… And the whole Freddy Krueger deal? Dude, I’m facing Rikku, the number one contender for the EWE Title, and Android #18, the chick who beat YOU last Sunday to become the World Heavyweight Champion, in a tag match with K~Dawg.

Mr. Man: Fine, whatever, let’s just move on… what the hell are you doing, anyway?

Danny Danger: Well, you know how I always watch tapes and shit, to prepare for my match? (Manny nods) Well like, this Freddy dude, I haven’t been able to find anything that he’s done, so I looked him up at Block Buster, and found like 8 poorly made 80’s horror flicks… they’re pretty shitty, but I gotta work with what I got. No way I could lose again, not to a jobber like this dude.

Mr. Man: Ha, you officially suck, Danny. Good luck no longer being jobber to the stars… but just a jobber.

Manny shares another chuckle with himself as he exits Danny’s hotel room. Danny, somewhat depressed now, sits back down on his sofa, pausing the TV.

Danny Danger: Ya know, a lot of people are saying the same thing about me lately. That I suck now. And fuck, how can I blame them? I only make it to the top 10 in the Royal Rumble, and then the next week I am booked against Freddy Krueger of all people, few people making the simple ass connection. But I’ll address Chaos with a Chaos roleplay, because right now, it’s Xplosion time.

He pauses…

Danny Danger: Since I lost to Eighteen, ala since I came back, people have the conception that I no longer have “it”… no longer have the very “it” that made me so great all those months ago. Well, you’re right, I don’t have that same “it”, but for God’s sakes, people please, get the hell over it, I have. I will need to find a new “it”, but it took me like, 6 months to find that “it” last time, so don’t fkn rush me Brutality… I mean, people.

He rubs his hands on his face in anguish.

Danny Danger: For everyone who saw that return video, and thought it was gonna be the same, what the hell were you thinking? I have changed, a lot, mainly because of some shit that has been going on in my life lately. I have a girlfriend that takes up a lot of my time, which believe you me, I don’t mind in the least. I’m failing my, uh, college that I’m taking on the side, and have to put whatever time I’m not spending with her into my studies, and although it is paying off, it can still be stressful. And then, when I happen to be awake, I squeeze in some training and promos for this shit. I’m doing my best, so if you want to stand there and say “Man, he was so much better before blah blah”, then fucking do it, I am far from caring.

Danny takes a deep breath, calming himself down.

Danny Danger: So now, I start from the bottom, and I work myself up. Just like I last year, at the same damn time I’m having to do it now. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind it, but it’s happening. And I start off at literally the very bottom of this shit, with a 13 year old no0b whose character is a 1980s horror zombie burned up crispy critter thing. Here we go.

He pauses again…

Danny Danger: So, I don’t know who you are, as far as wrestling is atleast, and I’ll assume you don’t know shit about me, either. Well, no matter who you are in this business, Freddy, you’re stepping into my realm, my ring, and you are going to get your ass handed to you on a silver platter like the ass of Freddy vs. Jason was handed to itself when it debuted in the box offices. Freddy, I have never said this to a superstar on the EWE roster and meant it until this moment, but believe me when I tell you that you are truly the scum of this God forsaken planet. I know most see you as a child murderer, which is pussy enough, but no, if you go back to the first shitty film, you were also a child molester. Taking advantage of the weakness of a bunch of 6 and 7 year olds? Fuck that, and fuck you.

He gets out his pack of cigarettes, and takes one out, trying to relieve the stress.

Danny Danger: Freddy, you’ve always said that the parents, that the ones who did that awful thing to you, lynching you then burning you alive in your own twisted boiler room, that it was unjustified. How you would take vengeance on all their children and grand children sometime in the future, and that you did, in the form of 8 or 9 terrible movies. But regardless of all of that, you burned up son of a bitch, the shit isn’t happening to me. I am not gonna be slashed with that stupid little glove you carry around, most likely made of plastic anyway. You are not gonna enter my dreams and kill me in an ironic way, mostly because I don’t even dream. What you will do though?

He puts a cigarette in his mouth and lights is, taking a puff.

Danny Danger: You’re gonna come out, maybe scare some of the fans with your dirty fedora and Blue’s Clues like striped shirt, and then get in that ring. Then “This Night” is gonna begin to play on the PA system by Mister Monster… some people are gonna cheer, some will not. Doesn’t matter. Then, to top it all off, you’re gonna be staring across the ring, and looking into the eyes of a young kid in a Misfits t-shirt, some ripped up jeans, and a pair of Vans or something. You may get cocky, I don’t know, but the SECOND that bell goes off, this kid is gonna beat the SHIT out of you, just like a fucking pedophile would deserve.

Danny pauses, taking one more drag off of his cigarette, before flicking it into the camera.

Danny Danger: I could say that this match will mark the beginning of the Danny era, but I wont. I have no idea what it will mark, but I can guarantee this, the match wont last any longer than the Freddy Krueger TV spin off did. And the winner, standing above that piece of shit, will be none other than the one and only, Danny Danger, the Symptom and the Savior, doing his best to climb back up that latter. Quote it.

The scene fades out.