***********************************************
3x3 Eyes Fanfiction - "What If... OF COURSE"
Written by: Mr. Kaiyanwang
Email: Sanjiyan82@hotmail.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/mr_kaiyanwang
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Copyright info: The cast of "3x3 Eyes" belongs to Yuzo Takada, Pioneer, and other copyright 
holders. "Mr. Satan", "Satan City", etc belongs to Akira Toriyama, Toei, and other copyright 
holders.


"OF COURSE a human can be made Sanjiyan by the Humanity Ritual!!!"


Chapter Nine:


Radio: Craaawl on me, siink into me, diiie for me, living deeeaaad giiiirrl!

After capturing and training two new beast magics (Kuu-Yon and Rei-Syou), Youko and Benares 
decided that they had done enough for the day. The two had also spent the day looking for 
Chin-Kuu, and eventurally found it. Needless to say, Youko caught and mastered it, too. How? 
I don't know, use your imagination. As evening progressed, the two decided that it was time 
to head back home.

The two summoned a Shou-Rin each and began to speed down the streets of Satan City. Talk 
about radical lookin' skateboards... damn. Just then, they heard the ghastly scream of a 
young woman.

Youko (looks at Benares): Benares-sama, what could that be?!

Benares (shrugs): I dunno. Who cares?

Youko (looks around): I'm going to take a look.

Benares (shrugs again): Suit yourself.

With that, Youko made a turn on her Shin-Rin and searched around the city, leaving Benares 
behind. Benares paused and watched Youko as she left. He then shrugged again and resumed his 
way home.

After riding for about 10 minutes, Youko finally found the source -- a mother scrolling her 
baby for a nice walk in the park was screaming because there was a robbery from across the 
street! A bank robbery, to be precise. There were three men in clown makeup who were 
shooting at police officers, injuring and even killing them.

Youko decided that she had to do something, and did.

Youko (points at the robbers' guns): Tou-Chao! Chop those guns in half for me, please!

The claws shot out of Youko's hands and did what they were ordered to do. The gunmen 
turned around and glared at the lone girl who dared to challenge them.

Big robber (points at the guns): Did you do this?!

Youko smirked confidently from across the street. She folded her arms and nodded.

Youko (nods): Yep! You wanna do something about it?

That angered the big robber. Did some little punk girl just challenge him?! Oh hell no. 
Now his reputation and ego as the most scariest robber in Satan City were at stake, and 
this babe was going to find out just how much trouble she had gotten herself into. He 
pointed at Youko and called over his two fellow robbers.

Big robber (points): Jacky! Johnny! Get her!

The two smaller robbers charged across the street, their hands crumbled into fists as they 
attempted to hit Ayanokouji! Of course, being a demon-in-disguise, Youko was waaay too fast 
for them, and within a few minutes, she knocked them senseless.

The big robber watched in shock, then growled angrily. Something wasn't right -- did he 
just see some stupid little girl beat down two of his friends?!?! Without thinking, he 
himself charged across the street to take on Youko. As he made his way, he swiftly pulled 
out a small handgun, pointed at Ayano, and fired a dozen times!

Again, Youko was faster than a weak projectile weapon could ever be, and summoned Chin-Kuu 
at that very moment. The mirror bug blocked the bullets and dispatched them into parked 
cars next to Youko. Youko then proceeded to beat the big robber senseless, with a fist to 
the face and a kick to the groin. As soon as the robber was at her mercy, Youko decided 
that she would teach him one last lesson to leave a lasting impression...

Youko (holding the robber's hand): Come out, Rei-Syou!!

The electric snake zapped the robber into hell and back for a minute. When it was done, 
the robber was charred and knocked out cold. With its job complete, the Rei-Syou wrapped 
itself around Youko's right leg and hugged it.

Youko (^_^;;): Rei-Syou! Stop it!

Youko walked across the street, dragging the robber and his friends with her. She 
approached what was left of the police officers and tossed the robbers to them.

Youko (nods): Here, take 'em away, guys.

The officers stared at Youko in shock. This girl had just taken out three of the biggest 
robbers in the city.. with ease! This was unbelievable! Satan City's citizens were also 
staring at Youko in disbelief. Youko, on the other hand, was quite new to all this 
attention, and didn't know how to react.

Youko (...): Uhm...

At that moment, a limousine drove down the street and stopped just before Youko and the 
police officers. The limo had the word "Mr. Satan" printed all over in bold red. A few 
seconds later, the door to the limo opened, and out came a really beautiful blonde woman.

The woman had long blonde hair and a small red dot on her forehead. She was dressed in a 
blue business dress and looked about 20 or so. She got out of the limo and stood next to 
Youko. Youko stared at the woman. She didn't know what to say.

Latori (smiles): Hi, are you the one that got rid of those robbers?

Youko (nods): Yes, that's me. Who... are you?

Latori (smiles): My name is Latori Satan. I'm the wife of the city's hero, Mr. Satan. And 
on behalf of him and the city, we thank you for getting rid of the notorious "Big Robbers" 
gang.

Youko (chuckles nervously): Heh... heh... well, it was no big problem, ma'am. I was just 
passing by and thought I'd help out.

Latori (nods): I see. Well, it would be our honor to have you come over to Satan Mansion 
and have dinner with us. Would you please?

Youko (still chuckling nervous): Well, uhm, I...

Latori (smiles): It is getting rather late anyway. Please, Miss, um...

Youko (nods): ...Ayanokouji. Youko Ayanokouji. And okay, why not! Let's go.

Latori (nods, too): Okay, it's settled, then! Please, go in the limo, Miss. Ayanokouji.

Youko nodded and climbed inside the "Mr. Satan limousine". Without another second, the limo 
sped away.


* * *


In Mama-san's apartment, everyone there were already eating dinner, compliments of one Mr. 
Yakumo Fujii's culinary skills. Well, everyone except Haan. It seems that Mr. Hazrat was 
sitting on the couch by himself, hugging his knees and trapped in a fetal position.

Haan (muttering): I am Haan. I am Haan. I am Haan.

Suddenly, a chicken drum stick smacks Haan right in the face! The greasy meat slowly slid 
down his face. However, Haan strangely remained unaffected. Instead, he continued to stare 
at the floor, muttering the same thing over and over.

Haan (muttering): I am Haan. I am Haan. I am Haan.


* * *


A couple of minutes later, the limo pulled over and its passengers exited the vehicle. 
Youko was amazed to find a HUGE gray mansion in front of her -- never did she expect to 
see something like it in a city like this. There was a big banner that read "Mr. Satan's 
Mansion" at the top. On the lawn were giant statues of a large man with a big afro and 
moustache. He must be this "Mr. Satan" that everyone in the city seemed to be obsessed 
with, Youko decided.

Latori and a couple of servants lead the way to the dining room, where there were tons of 
gorgeous dishes. There were roasted chicken, some salads, a couple of steaks, a couple of 
freshly baked bread, and so on. All placed neatly on a loooooong table.

The clock striked 8:00 PM, and Youko saw a dozen of people taking seats on the long, 
stretched out table. There were servants, maids, chefs, and people in business suits. 
Latori pointed a seat for Youko, and Youko took that seat. Latori sat next to her. Every-
one began to eat.

Youko looked around nervously. She wanted to taste some of the bread, but it was far from 
her reach. Latori noticed that and kindly reached her the plate of bread.

Latori (hands her the plate): Here.

Youko (surprised): Oh. Thank you, Latori-san.

Latori (smiles): No problem.

By the time dinner was over, it was already around 10:00 PM. Yeah, they ate for two hours. 
What? Of course it makes sense -- you've got 50 billion people eating on one table, so of 
course it's gonna take about 2 hours for them all to finish. Anyway, after dinner, Youko 
thought about heading on home, but Latori would have none of it. Mrs. Satan, under no 
circumstances would she allow Youko to just venture off at night in such a late hour. Even 
if Youko was powerful enough to take care of herself, Latori refused to let her go.

Latori: Youko-san, we have plenty of rooms in the mansion, and we'll definitely be more 
than happy to have you stay with us. Please, for my sake, stay here for the night. You can 
have breakfast in the morning, then I'll personally escort you home. It's the very least I 
can do for a big hero like you.

Youko (scratches head): Latori-san, you're really nice and all, but I really shouldn't. I 
mean, I...

Latori (pleads): Please, Youko-san...

Finally, Youko gave in, and Latori quickly ordered her maids to prepare a room for her. 
Youko smiled and sighed.


* * *


Back in Mama-san's apartment, Mama-san, Pai, and Yakumo were happily sleeping. Haan, on the 
other hand, was STILL on the couch, although dressed in pajamas with penguin designs, and a 
matching night cap rested on his head. However, he was STILL muttering the same words over 
and over again, and the grease from the chicken drum stick was STILL visible on his face.

Haan (mutters): I am Haan. I am Haan. I am Haan. I am not Sanjihaan. I am not Sanjihaan. I 
am Sanjihaan. I am Sanjihaan...?

Suddenly Haan quit his muttering and screamed! ...for a couple of seconds, anyway. As soon 
as the screaming was over, a manical laughter replaced it. Haan's manical laughter.

Haan (laughs): Hahahahahahahahahaha! I AM Sanjihaan! The most powerful Sanjiyan Unkara in 
the universe! All who opposes me will die! Die, I say! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

At that very moment, while Sanjihaan was laughing, a shoe can be seen flying from across 
the room. The footwear smacked Haan's face a few seconds later, knocking him off the couch 
and down on the floor. The impact left him knocked out cold.

Mama-san (grumbles): Finally! Jesus.


* * *


A ray of sunlight hit Youko's face as she woke up. Her eyes opened and she scratched her 
head. She yawned and climbed out of the ridiculously large King's size bed that Latori had 
given her to sleep on. Youko then entered the built-in bathroom that seems to be attached 
to every single one, and did a number of things in there: 1) showered; 2) brushed her teeth; 
3) washed her face; 4) got dressed. Fairly routine stuff.

After she got ready, she walked downstairs to the dining room to find only two people 
there: Latori and Mr. Satan. Latori was sipping a cup of coffee while Mr. Satan read the 
newspapers. And yes, Mr. Satan had the large afro and moustache as depicted in his statues. 
Youko greeted them.

Youko (waves): Hi!

Latori (smiles): Hi, Youko-san. How was your night?

Youko (smiles back): Fine, thank you.

At that point, Mr. Satan placed his newspapers aside and looked at Youko.

Mr. Satan (looks): Hello there.

Youko (nods): Hi, nice to meet you. You must be Mr. Satan.

Mr. Satan looked over Youko, and rubbed his chin. Like everyone else earlier, he was in a 
state of disbelief. How the hell did an average looking girl like Youko beat up a couple of 
men twice, thrice her size??! That ain't possible! But then the entire city said she did, 
and 10,000 people can't be wrong...

Mr. Satan (scratches head): So, you're the girl that took out the notorious "Big Robbers" 
gang, huh?

Youko (nods): Um-hmm.

Mr. Satan looked over Youko Ayanokouji again. He STILL didn't believe that someone such as 
her could take out three famous, notorious robbers. There was no way that she could have 
done it! Even *he*, the infamous hero of the world, had trouble keeping those guys down. 
But, still, the city said so, and...

Mr. Satan (chuckles nervously): Well, uhhm, heh, heh... I was eventually gonna take care of 
them myself one of these days, you know! But I guess you beat me to it! Hah hah hah!

Suddenly, Mr. Satan felt someone backslap the back of his head. The surprise caused him to 
unable to maintain his balance and he tripped, landing face first on the floor quite 
embarrassingly. Ouch. He jumped back up from the floor and rubbed his face in pain.

Mr. Satan (yelling): OWWW, THAT HURTED! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA??!

He heard a snicker from behind him, and right then, he knew exactly who it was that did it. 
Who else could it be?! It had to be.. HER!

Mr. Satan (annoyed): Why'd you do that for, Ushasu??!

Indeed, standing behind Mr. Satan was another beautiful blonde woman! Ushasu looked exactly 
like Latori, except that she didn't have a small dot on her forehead and she had a rather 
large scar on the left side of her face. And she also carried with her a mean smirk that 
the gentle Latori would never have.

Ushasu (grins): You kept yourself unguarded, Satan, so I took my chance. Nyaaah, nyaah, 
nyaaaah!

Mr. Satan (embarrassed): Blah!

Ushasu walked pass Mr. Satan and noticed Youko Ayanokouji. She greeted her.

Ushasu (smirks): Hey there! The name's Ushasu. I'm Latori's twin sister. And you are?

Youko was visibly nervous and somewhat confused as heck.

Youko (nervous smiles): Uhm... hi. I'm Youko Ayanokouji. It's nice to meet you.

Ushasu (suddenly recalls): Oh yeah, that's right! You're the girl that took out the what's-
his-name gang, right?

Youko (nods): Yes, that's me.

Ushasu (grins): Well, then! That makes three powerful women living in Satan City! Take 
that, Satan!

Mr. Satan (fumes): Well, hah! I saved the world twice! When did you ever save the world, 
huh?!

Ushasu (scoffs): So what?!

It was from here that Ushasu and Mr. Satan began their quarrel that, as Latori will tell 
us now, began ever since Latori married him. She sighed, then turned around to a ^_^;;-ing 
Youko and explained the back story.

Latori (sighs): Ushasu-san is a competitive person, Youko-san. She loves competition and 
loves to win. Since my husband "saved" the world on more than two occasions, my sister 
thinks of him as the ultimate challenge. She made herself think that she MUST beat him to 
show that she is better.

Youko (^_^;;): ..wow..

Latori (sighs again): Ushasu-san used to compete with me, too. She still kind of does, 
though not as much as when we were kids. Let me tell you a story about how she got her scar 
......


*FLASHBACK*


The scene showed two young girls riding on a little hill. Both girls seemed to be at about 
10 years old. One of the girls, wearing conservative clothing, was riding on top of the 
hill on a bicycle. She had long, blonde hair and a small red dot on her forehead. She 
handled the bike perfectly, almost like a pro.

Meanwhile, somewhere below the hill was a girl that looked exactly like the one above, 
except that she didn't have the dot on her head and was wearing a blue t-shirt and jeans. 
And unlike the girl earlier, this one struggled to ride her bicycle, and was trying to 
reach the top of the hill.

By the time Ushasu reached the top, Latori had already unpacked the lunches that their mom 
had made for them. She waved at Ushasu and offered her a sandwich.

Ushasu was annoyed. She grabbed the sandwich, stuffed it in her mouth, and then glared at 
her sister.

Ushasu (muffled): Yuu eedeyuot! Uh chaleenge yuu tuu a rasse!

Latori (confused): Huh? What'd you say, Ushasu?

Ushasu (still muffled): Uh zzaid uh chaleenge yuu tuu a rasse!

Latori (still confused): What? You want to... what?

Ushasu (annoyed): RASSE!

From that shout of frustration, the slop of sandwich that Ushasu had stuffed in her mouth 
flew out of her mouth and landed on Latori.

Ushasu (annoyed): Did you get THAT, Latori??!! Now get on your bike! We're gonna race!

Latori grabbed a napkin and wiped her face clean. She looked at Ushasu, confused.

Latori (looks): Um... Ushasu, what did you say you wanted??

Ushasu's face turned red as she fumed. Smoke spewed out of each ear.


* * *


Finally, the race was on! Ushasu and Latori can be seen on top of the hill. Both of them 
were on their bikes and were ready for the race. Strangely, Ushasu had a look of confidence 
on her face while Latori seemed worried.

Ushasu (thinking): I'm gonna win!

Latori (thinking): I don't know about this...

A turtle was chosen as a signal to start the race. Ushasu had made a line in the dirt, and 
the very second that the turtle crossed the line, the two would began. Ushasu and Latori 
prepared themselves and waited for the turtle to cross the dirt line.

The turtle crawled. It moved closer to the line, but it was still a good few inches away. 
Ushasu and Latori waited some more.

The turtle crawled further. And even though it was one step closer, there was still a few 
inches before it could touch the line.

The turtle crawled another step. Once again, it was another step closer than previously. 
And, yes, there were still inches before its paws would touch the starting line.

Latori (waiting): ...

Ushasu kicked the damn turtle in the air, sending the reptile's body flying across over the 
hill and beyond, disappearing from sight and never to be seen again.

Ushasu quickly jumped back to her bike and peddled away! Faster and faster she went, going 
downhill. She turned her head around and was thrilled to find herself way ahead of Latori. 
A satisfied grin spread on her face as she snickered. Ushasu turned around and stuck her 
tongue out at Latori, who... wasn't even riding her bike. She was still at the top of the 
hill, and was waving her hands madly?

Ushasu, of course, became confused. What the hell? Why wasn't Latori racing with her?! 
Annoyed, Ushasu braked, turned her bike around, and began to peddle back up the hill. That 
Latori better had some good explaination for this! As Ushasu peddled up, she failed to see 
another kid on another bike speeding her way. Needless to say, a collision resulted, and 
it wasn't pretty. Literally.

Latori came to her sister's aid as she cycled down to where she was. Ushasu was on the 
grass, her eye spinning in rapid spirals and little blue birds circling her head. The 
other kid, some weird looking midget kid with four arms, was also in the same state. Their 
bikes were both trashed.

Latori braked her bike once she reached her sister. She climbed off and checked on her.

Latori (checking): Ushasu! Ushasu! Are you okay?!

Ushasu (wakes up): Uhhh... uhhh... ohhh, my head... what happened?

Suddenly, Latori gasped in shock and horror. Ushasu looked at her, confused.

Ushasu (confused): Uhhh... what's your problem?

Latori (points at Ushasu's face): Ushasu! Your face! It's bleeding!

Ushasu, being 10 years old at that time, was quite scared of blood. Especially if it was 
her own blood. Tears came out of her eyes and she ran off home, screaming and crying. 
Latori chased after her with her bike.

Ushasu (screaming): AHHHIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Latori (chases): Ushasu! Wait!

The kid with the four arms also regained conscious by now, and scratched his head. He had 
no idea what had just happened.


*END FLASHBACK*


Latori (sighs): And that's the story. Ushasu doesn't like talking about it because it 
brings back bad memories.

Youko (nods): I see...

However, while Latori was relaying the story to Youko, they failed to notice that Ushasu 
and Mr. Satan had finished their quarrel and had decided to listen in sometime during the 
story.

Ushasu (smirks): Hah! You think that was something? Let ME tell you a good story!

Ushasu winked at Latori, which was a signal to her sister that she was going to tell THAT 
story. What story, you ask? You'll soon find out. However, it was obvious that this story 
was one that Latori didn't want others to know. Ushasu folded her arms and took a seat 
between Youko and Latori.

Latori (shocked): Ushasu! Y-you can't tell THAT story!

Ushasu (shrugs): Of course I can. It's my story!

Latori (still shocked): But Ushasu! You really shouldn't!

Ushasu (smirks): Just watch me!

Ushasu then dismissed her sister and turned around to face Youko. Youko munched on a muffin 
as Ushasu began to share a story of her own.

Ushasu (smirks): You want a good story? You'll eat this up!


*FLASHBACK*


It was a few days after Latori got married to that idiot Mr. Satan. Now even though Latori's 
marriage allowed her and her family to live in Mr. Satan's enormous mansion, Ushasu was 
quite jealous because she was STILL single while Latori was already on her honeymoon!

Ushasu (annoyed): Damn that Latori!

Ushasu remembered that when the two siblings were younger, they would often bet on who would 
get married first and so on. Obviously, Ushasu lost that bet, but... wait a minute here. 
Ushasu just had an idea. A brilliant idea. Sure, Latori was married now, but what if... what 
if Ushasu took things one step further, and...

Ushasu smirked. Yes, it was brilliant! And it would enable her to win at least ONE of the 
bets she and her sister made as kids!

Ushasu (grins): Ushasu, you are a genius!

Without another word, the blonde beauty got out of the Satan mansion and went across the 
street to a... factory lab? She went inside to find a bunch of scientists working on... 
something.

In the factory, there were many test tubes and things. There was a biology section, a 
chemistry section, and other sort of science things. Ushasu walked around the lab. As she 
did so, her beauty attracted a lot of eyes because almost all of the scientists were male.

Ushasu (looks around): Hmmm...

At that point, a tall, lanky scientist with pale skin and long black hair approached 
Ushasu. He worn a long lab coat and somehow resembled controversal rock star Marilyn 
Manson. The scientist introduced himself as Amara.

Amara (waves): Hi. My name's Amara. Can I help you, ma'am?

Ushasu (looks around): Hi. I'm Ushasu, Mr. Satan's sister in-law. Anyway, I need you to 
do me a big favor. Do you think you're up to it?

Amara (nods): I'll try my best.

Ushasu (whispers): Good. Now, what I need is... a baby.

Amara (jogs down note): What you need is a --

Amara perked up.

Amara (O_O;;;): A WHAT??!

Ushasu (kicks Amara): Keep it down!

Amara (scratches head): S-sorry. But you said you wanted a... a baby?!?!

Ushasu (smirks): That's right. You think you're up to it?

Amara (blushes): But ma'am, I-I don't know about this. I mean, maybe we should get to know 
each other first, then get married, and... and... a-and...

Ushasu (O_o;;;): What in the hell are you talking about??!

Amara (still blushing): Well, ma'am, you said you wanted a baby with me, and...

Ushasu (O_O;;;): What?! I never said that!

Amara (confused): Huh?

Ushasu (annoyed): You perverted idiot! I meant I wanted you to make a baby in one of those 
test tubes things!

Amara (understands): ...ohhhhh.

Ushasu (annoyed): You dumbass!

Amara (scratches head): Sorry. Err, anyway, uh, yes! Yes. It's possible to make a baby in 
a test tube.

Ushasu (nods): Now we're talkin'. Tell me more.

Amara (nods): Okay. Well, you're in luck because just recently, we received some sperms 
donated by this weird looking midget guy with four arms. All we need is one of your eggs 
and your baby is all set.

Ushasu (pulls out a carton of eggs from her purse): Here you go. Fresh from the market.

Amara (nods): Great! Come back in a few days and your baby will be ready.


* * *


A few days later, Ushasu returned to the factory lab. She found Amara in the corner, 
tending to a giant test tube. Inside the test tube was a full grown male teenager with 
long blonde hair, naked and sleeping. Ushasu quickly went over to Amara.

Ushasu (looks): Is that my son?

Amara (nods): Yes, ma'am.

Ushasu (glares at Amara =_=;;): I thought I said I wanted a *baby*.

Amara (^_^;;): Well, uhhm, it's not my fault. The sperm from the 4 armed guy was 
apparently quite mature, and the baby grew rapidly as a result. I'm sorry.

Ushasu (=_=;;): Arghh... whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters now is that I have 
beaten Latori by being the first to have a child! Muhahahahahahaha!

Amara (O_o;;;): ...

Ushasu continued to laugh triumphantly for a few more minutes, then finally calmed down. 
She then looked back up at her test tube teenager.

Ushasu (smirks): So anywho... what do you think we should name this baby, Amara? I'd say 
Rudra is the perfect name, wouldn't you think so?

Amara (rubs chin): Actually, I've already named him.

Ushasu (shocked): You what?!

Amara (nervous chuckle): Heh heh... well, I named him Shiva. I think he likes that name.

Ushasu (O_O): You... you... you...!


*END FLASHBACK*


Ushasu (annoyed): After that, I left the lab and never went back. You know, now that I think 
about it, I never did get to see Rudo-kun ever again. I wonder how he's doing now?

Youko (^_^;;): ...I wouldn't know.

Latori (smiles): Well, I heard that --

Suddenly, someone popped out of nowhere and interrupted Latori! Who was it? Why, none other 
than Shiva, of course!

Ushasu (shocked): R-Rudo?!

Youko (shocked): Kaiyanwang!

Shiva (smirks): Yes, yes, I have arrived! Now, let us end this chapter. It's gone far too 
long. Mr. Kaiyanwang, don't you agree?

Mr. Kai (nods): Oh yah.

And with that, this chapter ended! Stay tune for the next chapter!


* * *


END OF CHAPTER 9