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3x3 Eyes Fanfiction - "What If... OF COURSE"
Written by: Mr. Kaiyanwang
Email: Sanjiyan82@hotmail.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/mr_kaiyanwang
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Copyright info: The cast of "3x3 Eyes" belongs to Yuzo Takada, Pioneer, and other copyright 
holders.


"OF COURSE a human can be made Sanjiyan by the Humanity Ritual!!!"


Chapter Five:


Radio: You've gotta fight! For your right! To paaaaaaaaaarrrty!

Inside Mama-san't apartment, Yakumo was dressed up in his "battle outfit" and was ready to 
fight Benares. He knew that his arch-nemesis will show up any minute now, either by utterly 
destroying what was left of Mama-san's windows, by kicking apart the apartment door, or some 
other intentionally violent way. He was sure of it.

Yakumo stood in front of the apartment door. His friends surrounded him, also ready to fight 
along his side. Standing next to her Wu with her arms crossed was Sanjiyan. She had a stern 
look on her face splashed with a look of confidence yet dipped in dread. That is, if that's 
even possible.

Yakumo tensed up. Though his own power was quite strong, it was still a bit far from that 
of Sanjiyan's. Now if even Sanjiyan was a little scared, well... then there was almost no 
reason why he shouldn't be.

Ah, but what the hey! After all, Yakumo brought all this on himself when he said that he 
thought he was strong enough to fight Benares! If he hadn't said that, then maybe someone 
would have already brought up a better plan! You and your big mouth, Mr. Fujii.

And then suddenly, there was a knock on the apartment floor.

Yakumo was visibly trembling. But he prepared himself and got into his fighting stance. 
Mexing volunteered to open the door.

Mexing (scared): Well... here goes nothing!

And Mexing swings open the door as Yakumo charged himself at Benares! The Wu's young body 
clashed with the older Wu's body and the two clashed into the hallway!

At that moment, Yakumo felt that something wasn't right. Literally. He felt something hot 
and wet dripping down his forehead and onto his eyes. As the hot liquid invaded his eyes, 
he saw red and knew immediately what it was. After being Parvati's Wu and fighting Benares 
so many times, Yakumo knew blood when it dripped down his forehead to his eyes, then passed 
his nose, then into his mouth. He knew how blood tasted as he had tasted his own countless 
of times.

Or at least Yakumo thought he did. When the red fluid passed down from his forehead and 
into his mouth, he could taste hints of it. And the funny thing was, for some reason or 
another, his own blood tasted like... tomato sauce?

Yakumo stuck out his tongue and wet his lips to taste more of his blood. That's strange, 
the young Wu decided after having another taste of the red fluid. When exactly did his 
blood started to taste like tomato sauce?? Oh, no... he wasn't turning into a tomato, was 
he?! Oh, God, that must be it. Yep. Yakumo came to the conclusion that Benares was so evil 
that he had used a spell that could turn whomever he wanted into a vegetable. Any kind of 
vegetable. Well, even if that was true, Yakumo ain't gonna just stand there and be turned 
into a tomato that easily! At least not without a fight!

Using the back of his hand, Yakumo wiped away the blood on his face, opened his eyes WIDE, 
and glared at Benares, of whom was still lying on the hallway floor for some reason. You'd 
think that he would have recovered by now. But nooooo. Instead, he looks to be still half 
unconscious.

At that point, a smirk developed on Yakumo's face. Geez, the least Benares could have done 
was keep in shape if he wanted a fight. Yakumo couldn't help but keep snickering. And you 
couldn't blame him anyway! From what he could see, Benares had gotten so out of shape and 
so skinny that even the expression "a bag of bones" made him sound big. And what was that 
ridiculous looking shirt Benares was wearing? -- what did it say? "Chef Mario's Pizza"? -- 
oh, God, Benares looked so... ridiculous that it wasn't even funny anymore!!

Yakumo suddenly stood upright, folded his arms, and looked down at his no-longer opponent. 
His smirk faded and he had a stern look that mirrored his Sanjiyan master's.

Yakumo (stern look): Benares... you're not even in good shape to fight me.

Benares (mumbling): Wha...? WhereamInow...? OhGodmahheadhurts... oww...

Yakumo (stern look still): Benares, not only will you NOT use me in the Humanity Ritual, 
but you will also leave Pai and me alone!! You got that? And for Christ's sake, leave 
Kaiyanwang the way he is. I mean, come on! He's gonna die soon anyway!!

Benares (still mumbling): Whathehellareyousayin...? Wha... ohmanwherethehellamI...?

At this point, Benares slowly gets up. All of a sudden, he is helped by Steve...?! And 
Ling-Ling...?!

Steve (apologizes): Hey, are you alright?

Ling-Ling (also apologizes): I'll get you to a hospital.

Benares (still mumbling): Wha...? Whoareyou?

Obviously, Yakumo is confused as heck. He rubs his red, tomato-sauced-eyes and tried to 
get a clear view of the events before him.

Mama-san (mumbling in the background): Argh. I paid $10 for that pizza, dammit!

Yakumo (confused): Huh...? What pizza...??

Still confused, Yakumo continues to get a clear view as he rubs his eyes to clear his eye 
sight. But all he could see was red. But wait! Why were Mr. Long and Ling-Ling helping 
Benares and talking about pizza when Kaiyanwang could be in danger of being resurrected?! 
Arrgh, this redness in his eye sight was now annoying him. He had to get it off! Arrrrgh!


* * *


Somewhere walking in the streets were two happening dudes. One was a seemingly young man, 
probably in his early 20's, while the other was a big mountain of a man who seems to be 
around 28-35.

The first dude had long, blonde hair and was wearing a pink and purple stripe t-shirt 
along with worn out blue jeans. He had a look of confidence and a look of all-knowing as 
he passed around people on the street. Women all turned their heads when they saw him 
approaching.

The big dude, however, wasn't as... uh... "charming" (for a lack of a better word) as 
the first guy. In fact, this one was just downright intimidating with his cut-sleeve 
leather jacket, black tanktop, and faded blue jeans. This dude made Rambo look like a twig 
when compared. And what's worse? His eyes were blood red and could literally scare the 
living daylights out of anybody who made eye contact.

Anyway, enough with the descriptions and let's get on with the story.

Shiva (smirking): Almost there, Benny.

Benares (also smirking): Yes, Kaiyanwang-sama. Pretty soon, you'll be the most powerful 
Sanjiyan Unkara in the universe!

Shiva (shrugs): Yeah, well, of course I will. Haven't I always been? Anyway, enough of 
that. Benny, how come you've never told me that human beings were so beautiful?!

Benares (sweatdrops): Well, uh, Kaiyanwang-sama, I didn't think you would be interested 
in humans. I mean, in terms of power, they're really pathetic --

Shiva (raises eyebrow): Not interested?! What have you been doing, Benny?! Have you look 
at these creatures closely?! Look! They look just like a Sanjiyan Unkara in almost every 
way -- except that they don't have a 3rd eye or the annoying great powers that a female 
Sanjiyan tend to have! They're the perfect mate for us, Benny!

Benares (O_o;;): But, uhm... I'm a Dragon God, Kaiyanwang-sama. I don't mate with human 
beings.

Shiva (also O_o;;): Benny... you're not gonna let that stop you, right?

Benares (sweatdrops): Well, sir... I... err...

Shiva (sighs): Well, maybe it's time that you look for your mate! I know it's my time! 
How about you? C'mon, Benny. We can find Parvati later. Right now, it's the bar for you 
and me!

Benares (hmms): A bar, Kaiyanwang-sama? You mean with beer, peanuts, and... women?

Shiva (smirks): You guessed it, Benny! Now let's go! To the nearest bar! Culture Shock!

And off went Shiva in a jolly good mood! Benares really didn't want to go anywhere except 
to Parvati's, but... if his master insists, then he's got no other choice! After all, 
not even the great Ryuushin himself dared to oppose the great Kaiyanwang!


* * *


Back to our Sazan friends, Yakumo can be seen sitting on the couch, dejected. After 
flushing out his eyes with water, he had finally realized that it wasn't Benares who was 
at the door. Oh, no, no, no. Instead, it was a pizza delivery dude. But you, my loyal 
reader, knew that already, right?

Anyway, the pizza dude was taken cared of and nursed back to health. Steve, Ling-Ling, 
and Mexing offered to drive him back to the pizza place. And it doesn't look like 
they'll be back. So they're all gone now. Connelly, Gupta, Jake, and Naparva also went 
back to their separate homes now that the excitment was over. As is the same with Natsuko 
and Chen. Youko had also decided to take her friends and family -- Don-chan, Ken-chan, 
Grandpa and Grandma Ayanokouji -- home. Haan, as you would expect, volunteered to go with 
Youko.

So now the only people still in Mama-san's apartment were Mama-san, Sanjiyan, and, of 
course, Yakumo... of whom was being scolded by not only Sanjiyan, but Mama-san as well.

Sanjiyan (annoyed): How could you be so careless! You were lucky that it wasn't a little 
child you tackled!

Mama-san (also annoyed): That pizza caused me $10.00! $10.00, ya moron! I could've used 
the money on getting new windows, but instead I brought you clowns pizza! But this is 
how you repay me?!

Poor Yakumo.


* * *


At the nearest bar, Culture Shock, Shiva and Benares were having the time of their lives. 
Shiva had at least a dozen women all over him while Benares was watching wrestling with 
the other dudes in the bar.

Benares (total focus on the tv): Hah! I could beat them all with one hand tied behind my 
back!

A drunk (laughs at Benares): Yeah, right! You?? You'd probably get killed out there! Hah! 
What an idiot!

This quite obviously offended and enraged the large Wu. Shiva took a sip of his drink 
and watched in antipication.

Benares (hostile): What'd you say, human?

Drunk (continues laughing): I said, you are an idiot! A total moron! Are you deaf or 
something??

At this point, Benares stood up from the chair he was sitting on and towered over the 
drunk. The Dragon King's shadow emassed ominously over the drunken dude. Everyone in the 
bar stopped and watched, while Shiva... took bets.

Shiva (also drunk): C'mon! Bet! I put $20 on the drunk guy to win the fight! Yes, I know 
I'll lose money, but hey! Anyone wanna bet on the big guy with the red mark on his fore-
head?? C'mon!

Some dude (bets): $10 on the big guy!

Another dude (bets): $25 on the bulky man!

Some lady (bets): $30 on the guy in the leather jacket!

Another lady (bets): $50 on the red eyed big guy!

And so, Shiva grabbed their cold cash and stuffed them into his jean pocket. He nodded 
at Benares, and the Dragon nodded back. He peeled off his leather jacket to reveal the 
very large built we're all familiar with. The drunk, finally back to his senses, began to 
wish he had kept his stupid mouth shut. The poor bastard.

Benares glared at the drunk, then took a booming step forward. The drunk looked around 
the bar for help -- good God, where was the manager of the place?! Somebody was about 
to get killed here! Alas, he had no one but himself. The fool took a step towards 
Benares, and immediately regretted doing so. Well, if he was lucky, perhaps Benares could 
end it swiftly, and he wouldn't have to deal with hospital bills.

Just as the drunk got close enough, Benares suddenly took a swing! ...and missed! The 
Wu took another swing at the drunk, only to miss again! Wait a minute here -- what the 
hell?

The drunk looked around the bar in confusion. He turned back to find a menacing Benares 
glaring back at him. At that moment, Benares suddenly clutched his chest in pain. He 
staggered back, and a minute later -- dropped on his back??! His back crashed into the 
unfortunate table that just happened to be behind him. As the Dragon Wu fell down, his 
bloodshot eyes snapped shut and a loud "CRASH!!!" was heard.

Shiva (announces): Oh, my God! This fight is over, and the big guy lost! It looks like 
I won the bet, as well as all of your money!

Drunk (confused): I.. I've won?

Quite obviously, the participants in the bet instantly realized that they had been 
screwed out of their hard earned money. Especially when you consider that seconds after 
Shiva announced the results, Benares stood right back up and cracked his knuckles as if 
nothing had happened!

Benares (cracking knuckles): Ah, that was fun.

The $10 dude (angry): Hey! Wait a damn minute, you guys screwed us!

The $25 dude (also angry): Yeah! What the hell! We want our money back!

The $30 lady (quite angry): You dumb son of a bitch! Give me back my $30 dollars!

The $50 lady (very angry): I want my money back, damn it!

However, Shiva was too busy counting his money to pay attention to the four kind, 
gentle folks before him. But he certainly noticed them when they decided to surround 
the evil Lord of the Sanjiyan Unkara!

Shiva (counting): Uh, Benny? A little help here?

Benny -- err, Benares (shurgs): Yeah, sure, Boss.

Benares, with his massive muscled arms, picked up the happy folks one by one and tossed 
them onto the nearest table. The folks stacked up like firewood neatly. And then, with 
a single Kuan-Yaa, he blasted them all straight to Hell. Gambling IS bad for your health, 
after all!

Benares (grins): You were right, Kaiyanwang-sama. That sure was fun.

Shiva (also grins): See? Am I ever wrong?


* * *


In Mama-san's apartment, Yakumo was STILL being scold by both Sanjiyan and Mama-san when 
suddenly and abruptly, the telephone rang. Mama-san paused her yelling and went to pick 
up the phone.

Mama-san (annoyed): Who the hell is it?

Telephone (desperate voice): Boss! Come to the bar, quick!! Two clowns are messing with 
the bar's customers!! Boss!

Mama-san (more annoyed): You idiot! Can't you take care of this yourself?!

Telephone (very desperate now): But Boss!! You have to come down here, now!! They're 
destroying the bar!! Boss!! Come and help --

Mama-san (very annoyed): Moron!

Right after that, Mama-san slams the phone receiver down, hanging up instantly as well as 
destroying the poor telephone. She walks back to Sanjiyan and Yakumo.

Sanjiyan (turns to Mama-san): Who was that?

Mama-san (shrugs): Some idiot at the bar. You can't get good help these days!

Sanjiyan (sighs and glares at Yakumo): You're telling me.

Poor, poor Yakumo...


* * *


END OF CHAPTER 5