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3x3 Eyes Fanfiction - "What If ... OF COURSE"
Written by: Mr. Kaiyanwang
Email: Mr_Kaiyanwang@yahoo.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/mr_kaiyanwang
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Copyright info: The cast of "3x3 Eyes" belongs to Yuzo Takada, Pioneer, and other copyright 
holders. "Mr. Satan", "Satan City", etc belongs to Akira Toriyama, Toei, and other copyright 
holders. "Mutsumi Otohime" belongs to Ken Akamatsu, and other copyright holders. "Neko-chan" 
belongs to me, Mr. Kaiyanwang.


"OF COURSE a human can be made Sanjiyan by the Humanity Ritual!!!"


Chapter Twenty Six:


Radio: You're so very special! I wish I was special! But I'm a creep! I'm a weirdo! What the 
hell am I doing here? I don't belong here...

It was a saturday. What does saturday means in Satan City? Many different things, I'm afraid. 
Obviously, there was no school for children everywhere. As for the adults, this was also the 
day where they get a break, and thus, everybody was happy on saturdays. Some stay home and 
rest. Some go outside and enjoy themselves. This was the case with most of Satan City's 
citizens, and it was also the reason why we will watch the next scene.

On the bench was everybody's favorite egotistic fool, Sanjihaan. He was asleep and taking up 
the whole bench. It seems he slept on the park's bench the whole night, judging from the way 
his clothes looked. He was also surrounded by little children... with sticks. And branches. 
And rulers. And even tiny pebbles.

And then as if someone had shout "GO!", all the children with the sticks and branches poked 
Sanjihaan. Those with rulers smacked him on the head with their measuring equiptment. And 
those with pebbles merely threw them in his face, one by one. The went on and on with their 
torture until Sanjihaan finally woke up.

Sanjihaan (disturbed): Whaa...? What the hell?

Upon pulling himself up, all the little children screamed and ran away when they noticed his 
third eye. Sanjihaan raised his eyebrow and scratched his head. He yawned and scretched... 
damn, a park bench is the worse place you can go to for a good night's rest! Sanjihaan 
looked around and then realized that someone else was missing. Someone that was supposed to 
be with him, but apparently not. But who? Hmmm...

And then, with the same intensity of a truck collision, Sanjihaan remembered.

Sanjihaan (!!!): Mutsumi! Where is my dearest Mutsumi!?

Sanjihaan jumped off the bench and looked around the park franticly. Left side! ...nope, not 
there. Right side! ...no, not there either. Mutsumi wasn't on the nearest bench; she wasn't 
playing with the children; hell, she wasn't even in the park! That idiot Sanjihaan! First 
time a woman shows interest in him and what happened? He let her slip away! Sanjihaan 
panicked and scolded himself for not watching Otohime more carefully.

Sanjihaan (scolds and whines): Damn it! Damn it! This is all your fault!

Mutsumi (?): Whose fault?

Sanjihaan (points at himself): Me! Sanjihaan! How the hell could I have been so careless 
about... umm... wait a minute...

Sanjihaan turned around to find Mutsumi standing there with her trademark smile. In her arms 
were two bags full of breakfast goodies from Satan City's Donut Shop (TM). Sanjihaan stared 
at her in shock.

Sanjihaan (...): You're... you're... say, aren't you Mutsumi-san??

Mutsumi (nods ^^): Um-hmm.

Sanjihaan (grabs Mutsumi's shoulders): Y-you're real?!

Mutsumi (^^;;): Ara?

Sanjihaan (sobs and then prays): Thank you, Jesus!

Mutsumi (^^): Sanjihaan-san, would you like some donuts and coffee? It's fresh.

Sanjihaan (stares and drools): Wow, would I...

The dude stared at the bag of coffee and donuts... or so it seemed. However, upon closer 
look we found out that he was actually staring and drooling over something else... some
thing ol' Sanjihaan shouldn't be focusing at all, but couldn't help to. Bad Sanjihaan!

At that point, Mutsumi's clumsiness took over and she slipped onto the ground face first. 
This also caused her to accidently spill the hot hot coffee she was offering Sanjihaan! The 
boiling cup of beverage landed on Mr. Sanjihaan's head, staining his blonde hair to... well, 
brown. The pain from the boiling coffee also caused him to run around in circles, screaming 
in pain.

Sanjihaan (screams): AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


* * *


Somewhere close to the park were Yohko, Yakumo, Pai, and Haan. They had just heard the all 
so familiar sounding scream of death, since just about everyone in the city had heard it. 
Quickly, Yohko sped into the park on her Shou-Rin, with Yakumo speeding not too far behind. 
Pai had summoned Fei-Oh and made him shrink to the size of Shou-Rin so she could ride him. 
Haan, with a skateboard of his own, zoomed down the park with the others.

The four noticed that the park was filled with people of all shapes and sizes. Geez, life 
at Satan City was so comfortable. Yohko looked around, her shape eyes searching for one 
person and one only. Yakumo also looked around, and it was he who found their target. Yep, 
there he was, running in circles and screaming in pain. Haan also noticed and sighed. That 
damn idiot was ruining his excellent reputation! Yohko and Pai also found their targets, 
and the four of them proceeded to speed towards Mr. Sanjihaan.

Yohko (yells): SAAANJIIIIHAAAAAAN!

Sanjihaan stopped his running upon hearing a familiar voice. He looked around and found 
Yohko, on a Shou-Rin, speeding towards him. Did she just... did she just call him? No, it 
couldn't be... could it? And was that Pai in the back? This was very, very odd. A few 
chapters ago, he could've sworn that all the women in the world wanted nothing to do with 
him, and now he has the attention and desire from two of the most beautiful women in the 
world?? What the hell was going on around here?!

In any case, it was obvious that he wasn't hallucinating because she was still there 
every time he rubbed his eyes to make sure! And not only that, but she was getting closer 
and closer every time! With a perverted smile on his face, he spread his arms open wide 
and closed his eye as he waited for her to hug him passionately! It was going to be a 
tearful reunion, just like in the movies when the two main characters reunite for the 
first time! Oh, how sweet was that gonna be......

...However, all Sanjihaan felt was a nice big fist in the face, which knocked him to the 
ground below. Rubbing his face in pain, he looked up to find Haan Hazrat looking back at 
him with a fist extended. Surprised, Sanjihaan looked around and found Yohko, Yakumo, and 
Pai standing next to the Magic Merchant.

Mutsumi (^^;;): Ara? Oh my, what a punch.

Sanjihaan (surprised): W-wha-whaa...?

Haan (...): That was for that disturbing hug you were about to give me.

Sanjihaan (O_O;;;): WHAT?! THAT WASN'T MEANT FOR YOU!

Haan (shrugs): You still gave me a disturbing image, so I guess that warrants the punch 
enough.

Sanjihaan (O_O;;;): You idiot! Moron! Retard! Baka! What the hell are you guys doing here 
anyway?!

Just then, Yohko walked over to Sanjihaan and smiled. She pulled Sanjihaan off the ground 
and just looked at him with a glad smile. Sanjihaan had his eyebrow raised though, as he 
remained skeptical. Who knows when her boyfriend would try to punch him again?

Yohko (smiles): Sanjihaan, I heard you plan to explore the world with Mutsumi?

Sanjihaan (skeptical): Ummm... yes, we are. Why?

Yohko (sighs): I don't think you should. I mean, well... let me put it this way--

Haan (interrupts): If you die, then she dies! And if she dies, then I'll have to find a 
way to revive you and kill you again for letting my Yohko die!

Sanjihaan (O_O;;): Uhhhh...

Yohko (^_^;): Thank you for that blunt explaination, Haan. Yes, that's pretty much why.

Sanjihaan (...): Umm... but Mutsumi-san and I plan to travel the world and the seven seas! 
We'll go to Europe and be trendy and fashionable! We'll go to Africa and run with the 
animals! We'll go to Australia and climb trees with koalas! And then we'll go to North 
America and start our own musical group! Sorry babe, but my mind is pretty much made up!

With each destination Sanjihaan mentioned, a scene played out in the background with him 
and Mutsumi-chan in weird outfits. In the Europe scene, Sanjihaan was dressed in a black 
tuxedo, while Mutsumi had a yellow fashion model dress. In the Africa scene, Sanjihaan and 
Mutsumi were in lion costumes while they ran with tigers. In the Australia scene, the two 
were dressed up as giant koalas and climbing on trees. And finally, in the America scene, 
Sanjihaan's hair was dyed green and blue, while he worn a black t-shirt with faded jeans. 
Mutsumi's hair was dyed orange and red and worn a pink tanktop with red skirt. ^_^;;

Mutsumi (^^): Ara, I love koalas!

Haan (cracks knuckles): Damn it, baka! I thought I've already explained it to you pretty 
clearly! Do you want anything to happen to my precious Yohko?!

Sanjihaan (loses temper): Oh, SHUT UP! I'm sick of you all thinking you can just walk in 
and take over my life! It's always you, you, you! When will it be me, me, me?! Hell, do 
you even know who I am?? I'm not a weak and pathetic fool!! I'm Mr. Sanjihaan, the most 
powerful being the Universe has ever known! Do I have to prove it?!?!

GASP! Utter shock! Haan's eyes widen in complete shock and surprise. His mouth dropped wide 
open. Did... did Sanjihaan just... did he just... impossible! Haan turned to Yohko, who, 
for some odd reason, had a proud smile on his face. Same with Yakumo and Pai. Haan looked 
back at his mirror self, who had his arms folded and his eyes glaring quite angrily.

And then, Yohko stepped up and stood in front of Sanjihaan. Sanjihaan looked at her with an 
uncertainty in his eyes. Then out of nowhere, Yohko... smiled and gave Sanjihaan a kiss on 
the cheek?! Sanjihaan's eyes widen in surprise and looked at Yohko, who only smiled back in 
return.

Sanjihaan (surprised): W-w-whaaa??

Yohko (smiles): Good luck on your travels, Sanjihaan. Take care, Mutsumi-san.

Mutsumi (smiles): Thank you very much, Yohko-san. You too!

Haan (O_O;;;): Y-Yohko! What is going on?! Didn't you want him to come home with us?!

Yohko (shakes head): No, I've changed my mind. I thought Sanjihaan wouldn't be able to take 
care of himself, that's why I was scared. But now I think I was wrong. Goodbye, Sanjihaan.

Sanjihaan (...): Uhmmm... o... k...

With that, Yohko walked away. Yakumo and Pai waved goodbye at Sanjihaan and Mutsumi, then 
followed Yohko. Haan, snapping out of his shocked stage, sighed and gave Sanjihaan a stern 
look. Sanjihaan raised his eyebrow nervously in response.

Haan (sighs): Alright, you listen to me, and you listen up good. Since Yohko thinks it's 
best that you stick to your travel plans, I won't force you to go home with us. But THAT'S 
ONLY because Yohko thinks so. So lucky you. But you'd better remember to take good care of 
yourself! If anything happens to my dear Yohko, I'll find you, kill you, revive you, kill 
you again, then revive you and kill you one last time just for good measure! You understand 
me??

Sanjihaan (O_O;;;): Uhhhhh...

Haan (smirks): Good. Take care of yourself...... brother.

After that, Haan climbed on his skateboard and skated down the park to catch up with the 
others. Sanjihaan, who had a dumbfounded expression on his face, turned to look at Mutsumi. 
She smiled back at him and bowed. Sanjihaan turned back to Haan, Yohko, Yakumo, and Pai, 
all of whom were now getting smaller and smaller.

At that point, he realized something.

Sanjihaan (?!): Hey wait, did he just call me his brother?!


* * *


Benares smirked excitedly. Yes, yes, yes! After waiting for so long, the line was almost 
done! It was going to be his turn! Benares remembered Kaiyanwang-sama's order exactly: 3 
chocolate donuts, 2 chocolate chip muffins, and an iced mocha coffee. Benares snickered 
quietly to himself as he watched the guy in line before him order his food.

Boy, that guy sure was ordering a lot... not to mention that he's sure taking his sweet 
time. Benares folded his arms and glanced at his watch. Almost 9:00 AM -- 20 minutes since 
he took on this dangerous mission, which meant he only had 10 minutes left. Benares looked 
back at the guy, then glanced at his watch again impatiently. And then, miraculously, the 
guy's load of breakfast goods was delivered in multiple paper bags. Benares sighed and 
smiled gladly. Finally!

...or so he thought. As if having to carry 4 bags of edibles wasn't good enough, the man 
goes on to order more dounts and muffins! Benares' eyes widen as he watched the action 
unfold before him. Those that waited in line behind the dragon Wu also groaned and moaned 
in annoyance.

Man (in the back): What the hell!

Woman (in the back): Come on!

As the guy proceeded to order some more bakery goods, Benares tapped him on the shoulder 
while grinding his teeth.

Benares (grinds teeth): Hey.

Guy (shoves Benny's hand away): Not now. I'd like some more chocolate delights!

Benares growled quietly, then tapped the guy on the shoulder again.

Benares (quietly growls): Grr... hey.

Guy (shoves Benny's hand away again): I said not now, moron!

At that point, Benares' bright red eyes grew even brighter with anger. His hands balled up 
into fists as he prepared to knock the guy's light out... however, it was then that he 
remembered what his master told him earlier that morning.

Shiva (flashback): You must resist the force, Benny! Remember, Mother-sama said we can't 
hurt anyone!

With that message lingering in his mind, Benares put down the fists and reclaimed his 
composure. Gently, he tapped on the guy's shoulder for the third time. But the guy still 
refused to give Benares any attention. In fact, he was getting quite annoyed himself, and 
decided that he was going to give whomever it was that keeps tapping his shoulder a good 
ol' ass kicking!

...that is, only he turned around...

Guy (turns around): Listen, you stupid son of a... a... a... whoa ...

As soon as the guy turned around, he saw Benares' huge size and intimidating built. The 
dragon Wu's large shadow covered his entire being. However, this wasn't the only thing 
that scared the guy... no, it was the fact that he actually recognized Benares! Benares 
also recognized the guy, although he couldn't remember exactly where and when. The guy, 
however, remembered VERY clearly.

Guy (eyes widen): Y-y-y-you're... t-t-t-that g-g-guy... f-f-from... t-the b-b-b-b-b-bar!

Benares (suddenly remembers): HEY! That's right! You're that wimp from chapter 5, aren't 
you?

Guy (wets his pants): Gaah... gaahhh... p-p-please d-don't... h-h-hurt m-me!

Benares (points at his pants): Umm, you made a mess.

However, the very second that Benares lifted his hand to point, the guy dropped to his 
knees and begged the dragon Wu not for mercy. Why? Because he thought Benares was about 
to hit him, and he certainly remembers what happened the last time Benares fought. Benares 
was taken aback and scratched his head in confusion.

Benares (scratches head): Uhh...?

Guy (begs): D-don't hurt me! I-I'll give you all my food if you leave me alone!

Benares raised an eyebrow as he thought about what was happening. This was quite a weird 
experience for him, since this was the first time that he showed off his might without 
having to lift a finger! ...okay, maybe ONE finger, but not in a violent way like usually! 
Benny rubbed his chin as he thought about accepting the guy's proposal.

Benares (looks at the bags): Hmmmmmm... did you order 3 chocolate donuts, 2 chocolate chip 
muffins, and an iced mocha coffee?

Guy (confused): Huh?

Benares (voice raises): DID YOU, OR DID YOU NOT?

Guy (screams from fright): YES! YES! YES I DID! IT'S ALL IN THERE!

Benares rubbed his chin and nodded his head approvingly. Excellent! Not only did he get 
to obey his master by not being violent, but he also got Shiva's orders down without 
having to spend the $10 -- which he could keep for himself! This was great!

Benares (nods approvingly): I'll accept your proposal, maggot. Leave the edibles here and 
get out of my sight.

Without saying anything or any hesitation, the guy ran off and out of the shop, never to 
be seen again. Benares then summoned the giant spider beast magic, Fuu-Yao-Chi-Chuu, and 
it served as a walking shopping cart. Benares then placed 4 bags of breakfast goods onto 
the spider, and the two of them walked out of the shop. In the background, all the people 
stared at the two with their eyes opened and jaws on the ground.


* * *


END OF CHAPTER 26