***********************************************
3x3 Eyes Fanfiction - "What If ... OF COURSE"
Written by: Mr. Kaiyanwang
Email: Sanjiyan82@hotmail.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/mr_kaiyanwang
***********************************************

Copyright info: The cast of "3x3 Eyes" belongs to Yuzo Takada, Pioneer, and other copyright 
holders. "Mr. Satan", "Satan City", etc belongs to Akira Toriyama, Toei, and other copyright 
holders. "Neko-chan" belongs to me, Mr. Kaiyanwang.


"OF COURSE a human can be made Sanjiyan by the Humanity Ritual!!!"


Chapter Nineteen:


Radio: If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? ... If I’m alive and well, will you 
be there holding my hand? ... I’ll keep you by my side with my Superhuman might ... Kryptonite!

Previously ...

At this point, Neko-chan and Mr. Satan walked over to them. Latori noticed and sighed happily. 
Sanjihaan's eyes widen when he realized that he was surrounded. Neko-chan drew out her sword, 
and Mr. Satan freed Latori. Kiiru took a back step when she saw what was about to take place.

Sanjihaan (O_O): Eep.

Neko-chan (points sword at Sanjihaan): You're gonna die for kidnapping Latori-sama!

Then, without another word, she slashed her sword at Sanjihaan! The Sanjiyan Unkara jumped away 
with surprising agility and caused Neko to chop the table in half. He then jumped out the window, 
smashing it and sending glass everywhere. Neko-chan growled and also jumped, chasing after him. 

Mr. Satan stood watching with Latori in his arms. He was dumbfounded. Just then, he felt a light 
tap on his shoulders. He turned around to find Kiiru and other waitresses in his face.

Kiiru (glares): I hope you're going to pay for the damage, Mr. Satan.

Mr. Satan stared at her with his eyes wide open and mouth hanging.


* * *


The chase was on! Sanjihaan ran down the streets of the city with Neko-chan hot on his trail. 
All the passerbys on the streets turned their heads when they saw it was a Sanjiyan Unkara and 
a Wu. Some even recognized Neko-chan, but not Sanjihaan.

Sanjihaan ran with all his might. That woman was insane! If she caught him, she'll probably cut 
him into pieces, wrap them up in a neat little package, then feed it to the dogs! ... hey wait, 
Mr. Satan don't have any dogs. Umm ... well, he still had to run! Why? Because he's ... um ... 
doing this for ... uhh ... Youko! Yeah, for her! She IS his Wu after all, and if he dies, then 
she dies! So he had to keep running!

... Come to think of it, that means Youko and Sanjihaan were eternally linked, correct? Well 
then, more reasons for them to go out on dates and get closer with one another! Forget Latori, 
Youko was the woman Sanjihaan wanted!

Not too far away, Neko-chan still had her sword out and hot on that fool's trail. Damn it, who 
did that idiot think he was!? Well, he'd better expect to run for a long while, since Neko-chan 
had the reputation of being the most stubborn in Satan City. Hell, if she had to, she'll chase 
him forever!

Sanjihaan kept on running. His legs were starting to strain, but if he stopped now, then that 
psycho would catch up and kill him. At that point, he noticed down the block, and a big grin 
formed on his idiotic face. As he reached the end of the block, Sanjihaan made a quick detour 
and into ... the men's bathroom.

For some reason, there was a facility built at that spot. A building with two bathrooms, created 
solely for that purpose, it seems. Neko had seen Sanjihaan's detour and attempted to follow the 
same shortcut -- until she realized that she was about to run into the men's room. She came to a 
great halt and glared at the bathroom door.

Neko (glares): Argh! What the hell is this!? Who built a bathroom here!?

She pounded on the door, with no answer. She tried knocking again, and of course, the door didn't 
open. Well, only one thing left to do! Taking a few steps back, Neko pointed her sword directly 
at the door and prepared.

Neko (prepares): Listen up, you coward! You think I'll give up this easily? Hah! I'm gonna cut 
down this door if I have to -- and I will!

At that point, Mr. Satan, who had followed their chase without stopping, finally reached his 
destination. He breathed heavily, and beads of sweat can be seen on his face. Neko-chan ignored 
him and prepared the slash the men's bathroom door in half. Satan noticed this and quickly 
stopped her. He stood in front of the door to block her from proceeding.

Mr. Satan (!): Hey! What are you trying to do here!?

Neko-chan (annoyed): Well, OBVIOUSLY, I'm going to slice this door apart and find that coward!

Mr. Satan (O_O): But at the cost of my citizen's convenience? No way! I don't think so!

Neko-chan (growls): MOVE, or I'll cut you along with the door!

And she meant it, too. At once, she pointed the end of her blade at Mr. Satan's face. He, of 
course, became even more nervous. How could anybody NOT be scared and nervous with the end of 
a very sharp blade pointed in their face?

Mr. Satan (^^;;;): Heh, umm ... just put that thing down. I'll tell you what -- why don't I go 
inside the bathroom, find the pipsqueak, and knock some sense into him for you? This way, you 
don't have to waste your energy cutting down the door! Nor will you invade anybody's privacy! 
How about it?

Neko-chan stared at Mr. Satan and thought about his proposed plan. Well, he does want that 
Sanjihaan just as badly as she does, since it was his wife that the fool kidnapped. So she 
could not see any harm in his plan. The important thing is to get that Sanjihaan, and as long 
as the fool is captured and dealt with, she guessed it was alright.

Neko-chan (nods): Go, and fetch that fool.

Neko placed her sword back into her sheath just as Mr. Satan opened the door to the public 
bathroom. By now, almost everybody from town had stopped and surrounded them. Curiousity took 
them over. A few minutes later, the bathroom door suddenly swung open, and out came Mr. Satan 
and Sanjihaan ... with each other's arms over the other's shoulders as if they were best 
buddies or something. Both had bright and cheerful smiles on their faces. Obviously, Neko-chan 
was confused by this sudden new development. And I bet you are, too.

Neko-chan (confused): Hey! What's going on here? You were supposed to capture him, Satan!

Mr. Satan (:D): Well, wouldn't you know it? It seems that Sanjihaan had forgotten all about 
Latori! Instead, he wants that Youko Ayanokouji girl now! So all is well, Neko-chan!

Neko-chan (O_O;;;): WHAT!? What's the matter with you, moron!? Have you forgotten that he 
lusted and kidnapped your wife!? That's unforgivable in its own right! And now, just because 
he changed his mind about my master and wants Youko-san instead, you're just going to stand 
aside and do nothing!?

Mr. Satan (shrugs): Well, it's not my problem anymore, so I don't really care. Let that Haan 
guy or whatever his name is take care of his own woman!

Neko-chan (speechless): ........

Sanjihaan (cheerful): Hey, I've gotta get going. I'm sure Youko's waiting for me right now. 
Glad we could come to an understand, Mr. S!

Mr. Satan (smiles): Anytime, buddy!

And just like that, Sanjihaan parted ways and left Mr. Satan and Neko-chan. Neko was still 
stunned, surprised, and confused about what the hell just happened before her eyes. Wasn't 
... she ... supposed ... to ... capture ... Sanjihaan ...? Uhhhh ...

Just then, Ushasu, Shiva, and Benares showed up and surrounded both Neko-chan and Mr. Satan. 
The three didn't acknowledge their presense, and instead looked around them as if looking for 
something ... or someone. Yet it appears that they could not locate their prize.

Benares (confused): She's not here, Kaiyanwang-sama!

Shiva (also confused): Yes, I know, Benny! Where is Auntie Latori? I thought she was with 
her Wu and husband? Mother-sama, do you know anything?

Ushasu (shrugs): The hell would I know?

At that point, Shiva and Benares surrounded Neko-chan and glared at her. She scratched her 
head with confusion and looked at the two of them.

Neko-chan (scratches head): Umm ...?

Shiva (folds arms): Alright, you! You're Auntie Latori's Wu! Spill the beans! Where is my 
auntie??

Neko-chan (shrugs): I don't know? The last person that was with her was her husband, Mr. 
Satan!

At once, upon gathering that piece of information, both Shiva and Benares shifted their 
attention to Mr. Satan. Mr. Satan stood up to them both with shocking courage, yet it was 
obvious that he was scared from the sweatbeads on his head.

Benares (glares): Tell us! Where is your wife?

Mr. Satan (scared): Umm ... umm ... w-why should I tell you??

Shiva (glares): If you don't tell us, I can guaranteed that your life will be a LIVING 
HELL!

Mr. Satan (nervous): Okay, okay! C-calm down! Umm ... well, after all she's been through, 
I put her in a limo and took her home. I did asked her to come with me, but she said she 
would rather go home and take a rest instead!

With that reply, both Kaiyanwang and his Wu backed off and went back to Ushasu for advice. 
She nodded, and all three of them took their leave.

Shiva (points to the sky): To Satan Mansion we will go!

Neko-chan sighed and also took her own route back to the mansion. She left with amazing 
speed that only a ninja swordwoman like her could possess, leaving Ushasu, Shiva, Benares, 
and of course, Mr. Satan, left in the dust.


* * *


Back in the mansion, Yakumo, Pai, Youko, and Haan were still playing their game of poker. 
Only this time, there was something different. Yakumo, Pai, and Youko had a bored look on 
their faces while Haan had a smile too wide to fit on his face. At that point, the merchant 
suddenly threw his cards on the table in glee.

Haan (throws): YEEESSS! I WIN AGAIN!!

Yakumo sighed and also threw his cards on the table. That's it, he's out. He's had enough of 
this charade. Now that Mr. Hey-You-Guys-Were-Cheating had won his 10th game in a row, Yakumo 
figured that it was enough poker for the night.

Yakumo (yawns): That's it, I'm done for. It's late, so I think I'd better get home. Pai, you 
coming?

Pai nodded and yanked herself from the poker table. Yakumo began to walk to the front door of 
Satan Mansion with Pai following after him cheerfully. At that point, Ushasu, Shiva, and old 
Benares also made it home.

Ushasu (?): Hey, where are you kids going?

Yakumo (shrugs): Home. Look at the time. It's already past 10:00 PM.

Obviously, this was bad news to Shiva. Now that Parvati was here, he could never let her go 
again. Now even though she won't be performing the Humanity Ritual II with him, it's never a 
bad thing to have backups just incase anything similiar to Humanity Ritual I happens again.

Shiva (!): Umm ... no, it's not! It's only 7:30 PM!

Yakumo (looks at watch): Umm ... no, it's 10:00 PM. Well, 10:01 PM right now.

Benares (!): Are you sure your watch isn't broken? It's pretty common for people to wear old 
and broken watches nowadays, buddy.

Yakumo (O_o;;): Uhh ... no, I'm pretty sure this watch is working just fine. And ... umm ... 
when the hell has it been common for people to wear broken watches??

Shiva (points): Since now! Starting with you, young Wu. Look, I have the right time and it's 
only 7:30 PM! Way too early to leave, if you ask me.

Yakumo (O_o;;): Uhhh ... yeah. Listen, I don't really care whether it's 7:30 PM or 10:01 PM. 
Either way, it's a long way back to Tokyo and we really need to get going.

Pai (^_^): Bai bai!

And with that, Yakumo strolled down and out of the mansion whistling. Pai had a strangely 
happy expression on her face as she walked out with him. Shiva and Benares watched hopelessly 
as their backup went of their sight.


* * *


Yakumo and Pai walked further down the street, with him thinking about Shiva and Benares' 
actions. That was strange. Why was Shiva and Benares all worked up over him and Pai leaving? 
It's not as if he'll never see them again.

And then suddenly, it hit him. With all the mist of poker playing and Haan whining fun, he 
had forgotten the most important reason why he and Pai had traveled to Satan City -- to 
prevent the second coming of the Humanity Ritual!! Ahh, crap. Yakumo halted his walking and 
turned to Pai.

Yakumo (!): Pai! We gotta go back into Satan Mansion and stop Kaiyanwang and Benares!

Pai (^_^): Why?

Yakumo (!!): Because!! They'll perform the Humanity Ritual if we don't stop them!!

Pai (^_^): But why would we stop them?

Yakumo (!!!): Because it's our job to do so, Pai!!!

Pai (^_^): Oh, Pai wouldn't be worried about that, Yakumo!

Yakumo (!?): What!? Why not!?

Pai (^_^): Because Youko, Haan, and Latori-san's Wu are there to stop them!

Yakumo (...): Yeah, but I think they are gonna need our help because Kaiyanwang and that 
Benares aren't exactly pushovers ...

Pai (^_^): Oh, they'll be fine.

Yakumo scratched his head repeatedly in frustration. Why was Pai so sure of everything!? 
This is Kaiyanwang and Benares they were dealing with, not just anybody! If Kaiyanwang 
were to regain all of his powers, then the whole world is as good as dead. DEAD!

Yet at this point, Pai resumed her walking and Yakumo really had no choice but to follow. 
And follow he did. Pai happily began to jog, which in turn caused Yakumo to start jogging 
as well. Suddenly, they ran into a speeding Sanjihaan. There was a collision, and all 
three of them went flying in the air.

Sanjihaan fell flat on his back and he cried in pain. Pai was next, dropping right onto 
Sanjihaan who was trying to pull himself up. However ... the way Pai fell on Sanjihaan 
wasn't exactly ... appropriate. You see, when she fell down, she accidently sat on Mr. 
Sanjihaan's face. And the fact that she was wearing a skirt didn't help any.

Finally, Yakumo smashed himself onto the street pavement from the impact, causing a human 
shaped hole on the ground. He pulled himself up and out of it ... only to find Pai, in a 
short skirt, sitting on Sanjihaan's face.

Yakumo (O_O): What the hell!?!?

Pai pulled herself up and dusted herself. She walked over to Yakumo and still had a happy 
look on her face as if nothing happened. Sanjihaan, on the other hand, had a red face and 
his nose bled profusely. Now whether the nose bleed was from the impact of Pai sitting on 
his face, or a perverted reaction to what he had just seen is to be debated. In any case, 
Yakumo grabbed Sanjihaan off the ground and threatened him with a fist.

Yakumo (O_O): Y-you! What the hell were you doing with Pai, you sicko!?

However, due to what he had just seen up close, Sanjihaan couldn't talk coherently and 
just babbled on. Hell, anybody wouldn't be able to talk without babbling if they were in 
his shoes.

Sanjihaan (nose bleeds): Heh ... heh heh heh ... oohh ... heh heh heh heh ...

Yakumo sighed and tossed him back on the ground. He walked over to Pai to check if she was 
alright. She was. The two then resumed walking back home.

Sanjihaan pulled himself up and finally regained his composure. It was right here that he 
finally realized the girl he really wanted after all -- forget Youko, he wanted Parvati! 
It was just perfect. Look, he's a Sanjiyan Unkara, and she's a Sanjiyan Unkara. And they 
both happen to be the last of their species! What else is more fitting than that!?

Quickly, he looked around to find that his beloved was gone. He searched around, and found 
her walking down the block ... with her Wu. Hmm, that Wu might present a challenge towards 
his quest for Parvati's love. Well, perhaps it was going to take much more to win her over. 
But Sanjihaan was sure he would get his woman! I mean, come on ... what's a simple little 
Wu like Yakumo Fujii when compared to the greatest power in the entire Universe like 
Sanjihaan?

Without further, Sanjihaan ran down the block and within seconds, he was walking with Pai 
and Yakumo. Yakumo raised his eyebrow at the dude. Pai still had that cheerful look on her 
face.

Yakumo (raises eyebrow): Umm ... can I help you?

Sanjihaan paid no mind to the Wu. It was Parvati that he wanted, and only she will have his 
undying attention. Yakumo's eyebrow raised a bit higher when he saw Sanjihaan grab Pai's 
hand. This action finally caused Pai to break out of her "happy face" stage and poked a 
curious look on her face.

Sanjihaan (holds hands): My dearest Parvati, it is my honor to be walking down this street 
with you. Please, allow me to kiss your hand.

Sanjihaan proceeded to do just that, which caused alert to Yakumo. Now even though he was 
alert, he was also no doubt utterly confused. What the hell was up with Sanjihaan!? It was 
clear as day that he had some kind of interest in Pai, but why!? Wasn't he obsessing over 
Latori or Youko!?

After smooching Pai's hand, Sanjihaan held it and he walked down the street, grabbing Pai 
with him. Pai still had a confused look on her face. She turned around to find Yakumo still 
standing in the back.

Yakumo (O_O): What ... the hell ... is ... going on!?


* * *


END OF CHAPTER 19