*********************************************** 3x3 Eyes Fanfiction - "What If ... Real World" Written by: Mr. Kaiyanwang Email: Sanjiyan82@hotmail.com Website: http://www.geocities.com/mr_kaiyanwang *********************************************** Copyright info: "The Real World" belongs to MTV and whomever else. The cast of "3x3 Eyes" belongs to Yuzo Takada, Pioneer, and other copyright holders. "The Real World ... Holy Land" Episode Five - 7/30/00 Some lady: This is a true story ... about seven strangers ... lalalalala ... don't we already know this narration? The Real World ... Holy Land. Today's episode begins with ... nothing. Nope, nothing at all. Everything is just pitch black. What? You wanna know why? Well, in the last episode, Benares and Ganesa blew up everything in site, including the RW mansion as well as the cameras that were installed in it. Oh, wait. We're starting to see something now. Hey, lookie there! Is that the blue sky? And are those puffy white things .. they're clouds? And just what is that buzzing sound ... ?? What's going on now!? Eh!? Whaa!? We're on a helicopter!? Hey, look down there!! Isn't that Holy Land, where the cast are supposed to be?? Hey, look there!! I can see them, the cast! They are all on the ground, either laying or sitting there. All of their clothes are ragged, among other stuff. And apparently, the only two still standing and still intact was Benares and Ganesa, both of which are still glaring at each other. Benares (smirks): Hmph, you're still alive, you disgusting pest. Ganesa (also smirks): The same can be said for you. Benares: Shall we continue? Ganesa: Of course. As the two takes stance and prepares to summon more Beasts, a dark shadow suddenly appears in between! The Wu and the Elephant thing pauses, a confused look on his face. The shadow glares at both of the men, and the men had scared looks on their faces. Just who is this shadow ... ??? Benares (shocked): You .. ! Ganesa (also shocked): M-Mr. Kaiyanwang! Yep, that's right, kids, that's right. I have arrived! Sort of, anyway. But why am I here? Because I don't like the way this crossover is turning out! Hell, those two idiots blew up the whole setting I gave them in the last episode!! Mr. K (angry): You idiots! You ruined everything! And over a piece of Godforsaken chicken!? Kuso! Benares: It was that damn Elephant's fault! Ganesa: No, it was that stupid Wu's fault! Mr. K (points at the other casts): And you 5 idiots!! Why didn't you try to stop them!? Yakumo and Parvati should have had enough power!! Yakumo (rubs his head): But I'm hurting .. Sanjiyan (rubs her tush): And so am I ... Mr. K (raises eyebrow): And you're both horribly out of character! What about you three? Youko, Haan and Madurai. Madurai (scratches head): You twisted my character horribly in this story so THAT was my protest! Hah! Haan (also scratches head): And I'm horribly out of my league if I tried to do anything. Youko: Anybody think we're overusing the word "horribly"? Mr. K (sighs): Alright, looks like it's up to me to give you all an entirely new setting. Try to keep this one intact until the end of this fanfic? Cast (smiles cheerfully): Fine! And so, this entire fanfic starts anew with brand new settings, clothing for the cast, and other stuff. Everything goes pitch black for a few seconds ... ... and the setting reopens with what seems to be dinnertime back in the old mansion that was supposed to be blown into a bizillion pieces. And we can see them all eversoclearly now, so that must mean the cameras are back, too. Everyone is at the table, in an eating frenzy. Again. Geez, is it just me, or do these guys eat too much?? Yakumo (cheers): Ahh! You know, this food is great! Great cooking, Youko! Pai (also cheers): Yaah! Youko's food tastes good! Yaah! Youko (smiles): Thanks, guys. But there's only one small problem -- I didn't cook. Yakumo (pauses): What? You ... didn't? Pai (confused): Umm, then who did? Ganesa (evil grin): Why, I did. Yakumo (confused): You ... did? Benares spits out his food in protest. Ganesa (evil grin still): Yep. I see you're enjoying your BBQ'd rat leg and beetle juice. Tasty, treats, aren't they? At once, everyone coughs out their food. All of them jumps off their chairs and dashes into the bathroom to vomit. Luckily for them, there were enough bathrooms for everybody. Ganesa can be seen sitting alone at the table, laughing his tasks off. Ganesa (laughing): Ahahahahaha! You idiots! What did you think you were eating?? Ahahahahaha! Several minutes later, the cast walks back into the dinner table, most of them with nauseous faces. Haan and Youko are holding their throats, Pai is holding onto Yakumo, coughing, Yakumo is rubbing his teared eyes, Madurai is staring at the ground, spitting out food, and finally, Benares ... well, he's just being Benares, securing Shiva's cola can with his undead life. Madurai (spitting and annoyed): You ... stupid idiot ... ! What the hell ... was that!? Haan (still holding throat): Are you .. trying to kill us!? Ganesa (munches on his cooking): They taste mighty fine to me! Why don't you try the worm noodles! At the mentioning of this disgusting dish, the cast runs back to the bathroom to vomit again. Ganesa (still munching): How about the snail sandwich? And again. Ganesa (STILL munching): Or maybe the cockroach salad? And again and again. Yakumo (screaming in agony): THIS IS SHEER TORTURE!!! And so, because of Ganesa's .. uhm .. "food poisoning", the entire cast couldn't go on to do anymore episodes. Well, actually, most of them quit before they decided that, but that's an entirely different matter altogether. Anyway, because of this, the entire season of "The Real World ... Holy Land" had to end prematurely with only 5 episodes. END EPISODE 5