*********************************************** 3x3 Eyes Fanfiction - "What If ... Real World" Written by: Mr. Kaiyanwang Email: Sanjiyan82@hotmail.com Website: http://www.geocities.com/mr_kaiyanwang *********************************************** Copyright info: "The Real World" belongs to MTV and whomever else. The cast of "3x3 Eyes" belongs to Yuzo Takada, Pioneer, and other copyright holders. "The Real World ... Holy Land" Episode Three - 7/28/00 Some lady: This is a true story ... about seven strangers ... yadda, yadda, yadda. The Real World ... Holy Land. The beginning of yet another crappy opening. The door that lead to Haan/Youko's room opens, and a yawning Youko walks out of the room. For some bizarre reason, her pajama clothes are ragged and her hair is a mess as if she was ... uh ... "busy" the night before. Anyway, Youko proceeds her way into the bathroom to brush her teeth and stuff. 10 minutes later, she walks out, wearing a nice white t-shirt and a long black skirt. Smiling, Youko walks to the kitchen of the Real World mansion. As she arrives, she notices that Yakumo and Pai were already enjoying their meal ..... Youko (surprised): Yakumo! Pai! What are you two doing here!? Pai (munching happily at her muffins): Yaa! Hiiiii Ayanokouji!! Pai and Yakumo are casts in TV show! Youko is, of course, happy beyond control upon hearing this news. Youko (quite happy): Really!? Wow!! That's great!! Yakumo (swallows eggs, then nods): Yep. Hey Ayanokouji, who are the other casts? Youko (counts her fingers): Well, first there's Ga -- Yakumo (sighs): -- nesa. Yeah, I know. We found out last night. Who else? Youko (stares into ceiling as she counts): Haan ... Pai (cheers): Yay!! Haan!! Yakumo and Pai will live with Haan!! Youko (rubs chin): Then there's -- Yakumo (shocked): BENARES!!! Pai (shocked, also): Ahhh!! You ... !! Youko (confused): Huh? Indeed, at that point, Shiva's powerful Dragon Wu walks into the kitchen. He doesn't have his jacket on, but he still has his black tanktop and blue jeans. And like before, the guy is STILL carrying the cola can that his master is imprisoned in. Benares (grins): Well, well! If it isn't Parvati and her pathetic Wu! ...... and Madurai is still latched onto his leg, snuggling the limb as if there's no tomorrow. Yakumo (sweatdrops as he noticed Benares' leg): Uhh ... is that Madurai? Pai (sweatdrops, too): Heh heh ... Benares is being tortured by Madurai? Heh heh! Madurai (starry eyed): Tortured!? Whaddaya talking about!? Benares-sama is enjoying my company! Right?? Benares (sighs): Kaiyanwang save me ... Cola can: (loud, booming voice) No. What the!? Who was that!? Could that have been ...... Shiva?? The sudden speaking of the cola can definitely caught everyone's attention! Flying out of Benares' grasp, the cola can floats in the air for a few seconds as if it had a life of its own. Vile green energy can be seen emitting and vibrating from the metal can. Finally, a few seconds later the can settled itself on the kitchen table. Cola can: Ahhh! It's been quite a while. What's up guys? Yakumo (eyes widen): K-K-Kaiyanwang ... !! Pai (eyes widen): S-Shiva ... !! Youko (eyes widen): K-Kaiyanwang ... !? Benares (eyes widen): M-Master ... ?? Madurai (eyes widen): Shiva ... !? The can hopped around the table, looking through the selection of food prepared there. Cola can: Hey, look! Muffins! At that particular moment, Haan walks into the kitchen, looking refreshed and all. He's even whistling a happy tune! Yet however, the Magic Merchant's face turns into that of confusion when he saw everyone's shocked expression towards ...... a cola can. Haan (raises eyebrow): Riiiiight ... O_o;; Cola can (notices Haan): Hey! Haan Hazart, right? What up, dude! It's Shiva! Haan (points at the cola can): Uhhh ... ? I thought Shiva was a Sanjiyan Unkara, not a cola can? Or had everyone been dead wrong and you really ARE just an old cola can? Cola can: Hah! You just wait until Benares resurrects me! Then the Universe shall be mine! Haan raises another eyebrow, then grins as he places his hand just several inches above the can. Haan (snickering): That's very big talk from someone that lives in a vulnerable cola can! I can crush you with the palm of my hand right here and now! Cola can (threatening voice): You wouldn't dare ... As he says this, Benares stands in front of the can and face to face with Haan. Benares (grins): As if I'd let you touch my Master ... Haan is understandably afraid of Benares, but still carries enough courage to stand up to the Wu. Haan (gulps): Y-you don't scare me!! Benares (cracks his knuckles): Oh, no? Just then, Yakumo steps in front of Haan, waving his hands in an attempt to calm him down. Yakumo: Calm down, Haan. There's no time to fight; we have a TV show to do! At that moment, Yakumo is seen smashed into the wall and away from Haan by none other than ... Sanjiyan herself!! Sanjiyan (annoyed): Baka! If they wanna fight, then let them fight! I'll bet $20 on Haan! Youko (also pulls out money): $20 on Haan, too! Madurai (pulls out a $20): $20 on Benares-sama! Yakumo, resting somewhat comfortably on the wall, sighs. Later that day ........ Everyone is relaxing in the living room; Yakumo and Sanjiyan watching TV, Haan reading a "Crayon Shin-chan" manga, Benares meditating with Madurai and Shiva, and finally, Ganesa is ...... well, he's still in his room, still sleeping ever since last night. Youko is the only one that's not present. Sanjiyan (points at a character on the television): You know, you could learn a thing or two from that guy, Yakumo. Yakumo (rubs chin): Sanjiyan, these guys are crazy! They may be powerful, but they're named after vegetables! Sanjiyan (raises eyebrow): Hah! Like "Yakumo" is a better name? Your name literally means "Eight Clouds", buddy! Yakumo (whispers): Yeah, but they're named after *vegetables* ... Sanjiyan (raises eyebrow): Well, you're certainly out of character! Yakumo (points at Haan): Heh heh ... you think *I'm* out of character? Look at Haan! He's reading *Crayon Shin-chan*, Sanjiyan! Haan isn't the guy to read that sort of thing! Sanjiyan turns her head to observe Haan, who indeed is doing exactly what Yakumo described. She shrugs her shoulders. Sanjiyan: A good point taken. Suddenly, several loud "thumps" can be heard from upstairs! And since the casts' respective bedrooms are upstairs, that could only mean ... The elephant man, Ganesa, can be seen rushing down the stairs and onto the couch that Sanjiyan and Yakumo were sitting on! Just like when the night before in their bedroom, both were knocked off from the place that they had claimed for themselves. Ganesa (grabs the remote and switches the channels): My favorite show is on! As Ganesa changes the television channel, the new program catches everyone's attention -- even Benares (who's concentrating on freeing Shiva) and Madurai (who's concentrating on Benares)! The horror on each and every one of the casts' faces are clear and apparent. Only Ganesa had a look of joy on his elephant face. Yakumo(eyes widen): My God! S-S-Sanjiyan .. !! Sanjiyan (eyes widen): No way ... !! Haan (eyes widen): This can't be ... !! Madurai (eyes widen): Dear Benares-sama ... !! Benares (eyes widen): Dear Kaiyanwang ... !! Cola can (uh ... eyes widen somewhere?): I can't believe this ... !! Ganesa (cheers): Yeeeeaah!! Tele-barnies!! Wooohooo!! That's right, folks! Mr. Elephant's favorite show is the one and only "Tele-barnies"!! As you can tell, it is a mix of the dreaded Teletubbies and the ultimate evil Barney!! Just imagine the horror of little fat Barnies running around your television screen, squealing and whining in high pitched voices!! Indeed, this is even worse than Shiva being resurrected!! Ganesa (stomping around, imitating the show): Waaah! Weee! Ooooh! Ahhhh! Eehello! The others remained where they are, hopelessly watching the horrors unfold before their eyes. Ganesa (still stomping): Gaaaa! Moooo! Heeee! Noooo! Yeeee! Finally, Sanjiyan has had enough! It was bad enough that this stupid clown decided to watch some idiotic show, but now he's imitating those characters!? Well, no more! Chanting a few Sanskirt words, Sanjiyan gathered enough power to blow the Elephant dude out of the house and far, far, far, far, far away! Everyone applauds at Sanjiyan's actions. Sanjiyan (bowing): Thank you, thank you. Just then, Youko walks in the door, her face smiling and carrying a big brown paper bag. Youko: Hi guys! I just got back with some Chinese! Anyone want some? Oh, and wouldn't you know it? Just a few seconds ago, I saw some guy that looked exactly like Ganesa flying in the air! Talk about look-a-likes, the guy was his exact double! And just as she says this, Youko notices a hole in the ceiling that resembles Ganesa's body shape. Sweat poured down her face. Maaaybe the guy really was Ganesa afterall ... ? The episode ends with Youko staring at the ceiling hole with a appalled face. END OF EPISODE 3