*********************************************** 3x3 Eyes Fanfiction - "What If... Immortals" Written by: Mr. Kaiyanwang Email: Sanjiyan82@hotmail.com Website: http://www.geocities.com/mr_kaiyanwang *********************************************** Copyright info: The cast of "3x3 Eyes" belongs to Yuzo Takada, Pioneer, and other copyright holders. "A Dream Come True... Right?" Chapter One: Yakumo ran around the restaurant carrying used dishes with both hands, all the while trying to tend to a customer. He had never imagined that it would be as busy it was, but that was one of the consequences of co-owning a restaurant. It's alright, though, since he did have some help... ...sorta. Even though the place was FILLED with people demanding to have their orders taken, the two waitresses Yakumo hired didn't really do their job. One was drooling all over a customer's order, and the other was in a heated argument. Yakumo sighed as he walked into the kitchen. Placing the dishes in the sink, he wondered why he even hired the girls in the first place. Parvati (matter of factly): That's because you're an idiot. Yakumo (surprised): WAAH! S-Sanjiyan! I didn't see you... Parvati (annoyed): You idiot! I thought I told you not to call me "Sanjiyan" anymore! My name is Parvati now. Yakumo (scratches head ^_^;;): Oh yeah, sorry. Parvati (shrugs): Ah, forget about it. So what's wrong with Pai and Kali now? Yakumo (sighs): Well, Pai's already hungry even though she just had lunch, and Kali is causing trouble just for the fun of it. The usual stuff, Parvati. Parvati (clobbers Yakumo): You idiot, don't call me Parvati now! When we're working, you refer to me as "Boss"! Yakumo (rubs face): Owww... what difference does it make? Parvati (!): There's a big difference! I own 70% of this dump! Now get back to work! Yakumo raised his eyebrow at Parvati, to which she responded with a swift kick to the face. The former Wu flew out of the kitchen and landed on a customer's table. CRASH! He had a dumb smile on his face as he lie on the table. Yakumo (dumb smile): Heh... Sanjiyan can be so fiesty sometimes... At that point, there was a sound of a throat clearing. Customer (clears throat) Ahem. Yakumo snapped out of his smile and looked around his surroundings. Looking back was Haan with an impatient/annoyed look on his face, and Youko with a ^_^;; expression. Yakumo (...): Uhh... hi guys. Haan (-_-;): Do you enjoy spoiling our date, Fujii? Yakumo (?): Eh? Youko (^_^;;): Yakumo-san, look at what you're lying on top of. Yakumo took a peek and found himself lying on top of a bowl of romen noodles, a cup of coffee, and a dozen roses. Wait, make that a HOT bowl of romen noodles, a BOILING cup of coffee, and a dozen roses with MANY THORNS on each. Reflexes taking over, Yakumo jumped off the table and screamed in pain. Yakumo (screams): UUWAAAAAAAAAHH! Haan (=_=;;): Idiot. Come on, Youko, let's go somewhere else. With that, Haan grabbed Youko's hand and pulled her out of the restaurant. Youko waved "goodbye" and left. By now, Yakumo had stopped screaming and realized that all eyes in the restaurant were on him... especially those of Parvati's. Parvati (eyes Yakumo): So, Mr. Fujii... how do you plan to explain yourself? Yakumo (^_^): Umm... oops? I accidently landed on their table after you kicked me... Parvati (eyes turn to glare): So you're saying it's my fault? Yakumo (!?): Eh? I never said... Uh-oh. Parvati's entire being turned orange as flames ignited around her. Her eyes blended to a sharp fearful red, which caused everyone within range to back away from her. Yakumo Fujii, especially. Parvati (fuming): First, you caused two customers to leave... and now you try to put the blame on me? Yakumo (scared to death): ACK! NO! I-I never said anything like that! Parvati (evil glare): But you implied it... Yakumo (O_O;;;;): N-no! Sanjiyan.. err... Parvati.. um.. Boss... er... just c-calm down! I never said nor implied anything of that nature! Really, I didn't! Parvati (DEATHLY glare!): So... now you're saying that I'm imagining things?!?! Yakumo (sweats profusely): I..? Oh, sweet Jesus... Kali (sing-song): Yakumo's gonna get it noooow... Pai (look of sympathy): Oh, poor Yakumo... With her eyes turning bright red, Parvati raised her hand to eye level and did her trade- mark Sanjiyan Unkara attack gesture. Parvati (gesture): Haah! BARASU VIDAAHI!! Yakumo shield himself with his arms from her attack. Except... nothing happened. Yakumo slowly placed his arm away and looked at Parvati, confused. Parvati (^_^;;): Oops, it seems my temper got the best of me. I forgot that I lost my old Sanjiyan Unkara powers. Yakumo (O_O;;): Uhhhh... Parvati (!): But that doesn't mean you're not getting your ass kicked! Faster than the speed of light, Parvati raised her fist into the air and connected with Yakumo's chin, executing a flawless uppercut. Yakumo went into the air and back down, crashing into the tables. Yakumo (*_*): Owwww... Parvati (annoyed look): Hmph! At that point, Kali jumped onto Yakumo like a rapid monkey and beat him down some more. She had been quietly watching in the background, and couldn't take it anymore. Well, she figured that if the boss could beat up Yakumo, then it wouldn't hurt for her to do so either. Kali scratched Yakumo's face with her fingernails and stomped on his gut with her feet. Meanwhile, the customers were getting ready to go back to their seats. Parvati went to the back and Pai went to a customer. Pai (cheerful smile): Hello! Welcome to Yakumo's restaurant, The Immortals! What will Pai serve you today?? Naru (looks at menu): Man, you guys have a lot of stuff here! What do you suggest? [Caption: Naru Narusegawa is from "Love Hina"] Pai (drools): Yakumo makes good sushi! With BBQ eels, and carrots, and... Keitaro (O_O): Umm... excuse me, are you actually drooling?! [Caption: Keitaro Urashima is from "Love Hina"] Pai (wipes drool): Sorry! Pai is hungry! What do you want to order! Keitaro (...): Hmm... maybe just a bowl of chicken romen? Naru (!): Keitaro, you idiot! Why would you order something so oridinary like chicken romen when you can have gourmet meals?! Keitaro (^^;): But Narusegawa, I'm used to romen... what are you ordering anyway? Naru (shrugs): I dunno... Kaolla recommended this restaurant so I thought I'd try it out. Pai (!): Ah! Are you two friends of Kaolla-chan? Keitaro (?): Huh? You know her? Pai (nods): Pai does! Pai always serves her Yakumo's Ultra Spicy Hot Boiling Potato Over Rice Special! Maybe you should try it! Keitaro (O_O;;;): Umm... no thanks. I think I'll stick with the chicken romen... Naru (smirks): So you don't have the guts, huh? Well, I'll tell you what! I'll have the Yakumo's Ultra Something Or Other Potato Rice Special! Pai (nods): Okay! Pai will write it down and Pai will bring you the food in 15 minutes! Naru (nods): You do that! With that, Pai wrote down the orders and went to the back. She gave the order to the cooks in the back. They raised their eyebrows at the orders. Sakuko (raises eyebrow): Pai-san, I can do the chicken romen order, but we'll have to wake Yakumo up for the spicy special... Pai (?): Huh? But Yakumo is busy with Kali now! Sakuko (?!): He's... what did you say?! Busy with Kali?! Pai (nods): Yep. Sakuko (?!?!): What do you mean busy?! What's he doing?! Pai (peeks outside): Umm... Yakumo is busy with Kali on top of him. Sakuko (O_O): WHAT?! Listening no further, Sakuko tightly grasped the knife that she was using and transformed right before our eyes! In an instant, she turned from cute to completely scary, just as she had previously with the Konron digger from volume 6! Using her newly gained speed, she jumped out of the kitchen and into the restaurant. She spotted Yakumo and soared into action. Kali noticed her and quickly moved out of the way. Sakuko landed on Yakumo and stabbed him over and over again with her veggie chopping knife. Sakuko (stabs): DIE, YOU WOMANISING BASTARD! DIE! TAKE THIS! AND THIS! AND THAT! AND MORE OF THIS! AND SOME OF THAT! AND THEN THIS! AND ANOTHER OF THAT! ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! [Mr. K's Note: Yes, that's a Powerpuff Girls joke.] The action caught all the attentions of the customers. At first, they were utterly stunned at what they saw, but then the faces turned to cheers and applauds. Kali laughed in the background as she watched the "action" unfold. Keitaro (points at action): Hey look, Narusegawa, they have special effect shows in this restaurant, too! Naru (watches): Wow, that guy can really take a hit! I never thought there was someone more enduring than you! Just then, Parvati stepped back out from behind the curtains. She had heard some noise and was told by Pai that Sakuko had gone insane... again. And surprise surprise, there she was beating the crap out of Yakumo. Parvati sighed, and then proceeded to pull Sakuko off of the poor guy. Parvati (takes knife from Sakuko): Okay, okay, you've done enough. You can take the day off now. Sakuko (zooms back to normal): Huh? What was I doing again? Parvati (points at exit): Go home, Sakuko. Sakuko shrugged and left the restaurant. Parvati looked down at the new human pin cusion known as Yakumo, bleeding for his life. He had swirls in his eyes, which signaled that he was unconscious. Parvati sighed and dragged his body into the kitchen, leaving a trail of blood and guts for all to see. Keitaro (pokes at the blood): Man, talk about realistic special effects... * * * END OF CHAPTER 1