~Recurring Characters Excite Over Garcia Hosting~

Cast: Carnation as Catty Couric

Bo as Cat Lauer

Colosso as Birdhead

Tubbo as Al Croaker

Decade as Ty Warner

Sport as Jerry Fineselled

Frisco as Fran the Feline

L’amore as bodyguard

Garcia as himself

 

Catty Couric: Cat, are you as excited as I am to see Garcia the bear hosting Beanieday Night Live tonight?

Cat Lauer: Absolutely, Catty. I am looking forward to seeing Garcia, the bear that retired in May 1997 as a response to comments from the family of Jerry Garcia, host BNL after six years away from show business, as sure as my hair is balding and ugly.

Birdhead: Hey, hey, hey! Cat Lauer, you look as ugly as my mother when she looks like me! She’s a wooly fatso! But you’re thin and have no hair, and you look just as ugly!
Cat Lauer: Yeah, I work out.

Colosso: Actually, I know you don’t. I saw your spread in People when you were ranked “Sexiest Man Alive…Not!”

Catty Couric: I didn’t even know People had a “Sexiest Man Alive…Not!” every year. Anyway, Al Croaker, how’s the weather here in New York, where we’re all eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Garcia Beanie Baby?
Al Croaker: It’s gonna be a fine, fine day today! The weather is just shagadelic enough to get your groove on when he plays his tunes!

Catty Couric: Why are you talking like that?
Al Croaker: I like to talk like that. That’s how I booked Beyonce to come to the Today Show.

Ty: Hello, friends. Just came to see my friend Garcia host tonight. He’s such a great guy. If only I wasn’t sued to get him retired.

Cat Lauer: How’s my hair, Ty?
Ty: Your hair is terrible. You look like an old man.

Cat Lauer: Hey, so does Garcia. You’re only making fun of the host. If you want to make fun of people, Fran the Feline and Jerry Fineselled are over there.

Jerry Fineselled: What is the deal with ty-dye? I mean, it’s not a color, so why are there t-shirts, Beanie Babies, anything ty-dye at all?
Fran the Feline: I used to debate over the spelling of ty-dye. You see, there’s the correct spelling, T-I-E dye, and Ty phrases it T-Y dye. It reminds me of this time when I was coloring Easter eggs, and the kids said, “Look! I made tay-dye!” and I said, “It’s tie-dye, not tay-dye. What kind of dye are you dyeing with tay-dye?”
Ty: I HAVE A HAIRBALL!
Fran the Feline: Get a room. It reminds me of when…

Jerry Fineselled: Shut up, here he comes.

Fran the Feline: I don’t like being told to shut up. Which reminds me of that time when I was watching Chris Rock on TV…

(a bus pulls up)
Bodyguard: Za few rules: 1, no pushing. 2, no other rules. Here’s zee Garcia!

Garcia: Hello, all you… things! Wow, the Beanie community must have changed a lot. I’m still a hippie.

Cat Lauer: Catty, can you believe it? It’s Garcia!
Catty Couric: Hi, Garcia! (gives Garcia a kiss)
Al Croaker: Can you give me a bucket of dead insects so I can eat them?
Garcia: You can lick my feet.

Al Croaker: No deal.

Jerry Fineselled: Garcia, what’s the deal with hippies? They like tie-dye for some reason.

Fran the Feline: Can you sign my CD? I remember this time when this person wouldn’t do it for me and I refused to listen to his records and…

Garcia: OKAY! I’ll sign your darn CD so I don’t have to hear your nonsensical blathering.

Ty: It’s great to see you again, Garcia.

Garcia: Oh, daddy, I love you.

Ty: I love you, too.

Garcia: Why’d you come out here to meet me again.

Ty: I did it because… LIVE FROM THE BEANIE ZOO, IT’S BEANIEDAY NIGHT!