~Rene Foppe and Friends~
Cast: Mother as Rene Foppe

Baby Boy as Mr. Beanwell

Carnation as Lisa LaMoy

Chocolate as Brandon LaMoy

Sport as Kid 1

Frosty as Kid 2

Pappa as father

Baby Girl as girl

 

Mickey: Welcome to “Rene Foppe and Friends”, celebrating what the lovely Rene Foppe has done to help the Beanie community. And now, the lady who puts the “real good” in Rene, Rene Foppe!

Rene Foppe: Thank you, thank you! It’s a great night! It’s a great night for you all to take pictures of my legs. It’s a great night! Again! I can’t believe I said that twice – I just can’t believe it! Anyway, tonight’s show is a benefit to stop people from stealing stuff in California. Where I live, it’s a riot. Take a look at this scene.

(cut to backstage, where two kids steal from Rene’s purse)

Rene Foppe: I think I’ll need to teach them some respect after the show. Now, it’s a pleasure for me to introduce my first guest, the talented basher, Mr. Beanwell!
Mr. Beanwell: Thanks, Rene. It’s so nice to be in your home.

Rene Foppe: Not home… TV set. So, how have you been?
Mr. Beanwell: Oh, you know, normal. Just attendance has been down on my chats and I’ve kept lower profile.

Rene Foppe: Oh, I’m sorry about that.

Mr. Beanwell: I wish that you were a wonderful little lady who could make people come to my chats whenever you say the word “Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious”.

Rene Foppe: Why “Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious”?

Mr. Beanwell: It’s such a great word. I can’t believe there’s no Beanie named that yet.

Rene Foppe: Too long. Ty would have to cut it down to “Supercal”. Now, what kind of weirdo name is that, “Supercal”?
Mr. Beanwell: Yeah, what was I thinking? Maybe I’ll give you another word to try out, something like… “Alakazam, Beanie chat” or something? I can’t think. I run my mind 24/7.

Rene Foppe: Oh, I hear you. I wish school wasn’t starting again soon because I’d have to wake up early. I like it better when there’s no school because the only things keeping me from getting what I want done are the kids and karate. But I love them – I love the kids, much more than karate…

Mr. Beanwell: I hear you. Better to love a person than a lesson.

Rene Foppe: Nice. Okay, now, this week Lisa from Planet Beans had a Pick a Number contest again, and I remember we both loved them!
Mr. Beanwell: Yep, we both did.

Rene Foppe: Here now to talk about that is Lisa from Planet Beans!

Lisa LaMoy: Thank you for having me. I brought my son Brandon with me because he loves your show so much.

Rene Foppe: Aw, that’s sweet, Brandon. Want a cookie?
Brandon LaMoy: Um, no thanks. Trying to cut down.

Rene Foppe: So, Lisa, how often do you do these Pick a Number contests, or as known in the Beanie community, PAN?
Lisa LaMoy: The PAN contests are only held when LaRue and I feel like it. With the Beanie community losing a lot of interest, we don’t get as many participants. I just wanna clear my shelf, that’s all.

Rene Foppe: Brandon, what do you think?
Brandon LaMoy: I really don’t care. I’m not as into the Beanies as she is, as a matter of fact, I don’t think I’m interested in them at all. I love your show only because I like watching the young boys in the audience watching your “Legcam”.

Rene Foppe: I knew I shouldn’t have done that. Hey, kids! Do you see any cameras here?
Kid 1: Ms. Foppe, I love you! Can I give you a kiss?
Kid 2: Can you sign my legs?
Rene Foppe: No! I’d be happy to sign a picture of your legs, but first, tell me where the cameras are!
Kid 1: I don’t see any!
Kid 2: I don’t know what you’re talking about, but…

Rene Foppe: Lisa, Brandon, I hope you don’t mind. I have to go backstage for a second. Mr. Beanwell, if you don’t mind, can you keep my guests busy?
Mr. Beanwell: Fine.

Rene Foppe: I’ll be right back.

Mr. Beanwell: So, what’s the difference between my eyes and the Herald Beanie Buddy?

(cut to backstage)
Rene Foppe: I know those stupid jerks put that “Legcam” in here somewhere. I don’t even know why they got me to start it anyway. You know what? I’m just going to unhook all the cameras. (unhooks every camera)

(open on house)
Girl: Daddy, what happened to Rene?
Father: Um… the Beanies ate her.

(back to show)
Rene Foppe: There. I think that should do it. Okay… moving on, Brandon, I hear…

Brandon LaMoy: You know, we’re not even on TV.

Rene Foppe: What are you talking about?

Brandon LaMoy: There’s no cameramen. You unhooked everything and they all drove away.

Rene Foppe: Okay, we gotta get back on the air. I don’t care if we only need one camera. I’m going to go back and plug something back in… (goes backstage) Okay, I found the wire, now I plug it in…

(open on house)
Father: Okay, I don’t think we should be watching this anymore.

Girl: But Daddy, where’s Rene?
Father: I don’t know, but you shouldn’t be watching this. All you’re seeing is some woman’s legs.

(back to show)

Rene Foppe: Great that we’re back on the air. Well, that’s all the time we have on today’s show. Lisa, thanks for coming. Sorry we didn’t get to talk much.

Lisa LaMoy: Sorry about the cameras.

Rene Foppe: And Mr. Beanwell, you’re welcome any time.

Mr. Beanwell: Thanks again.

Rene Foppe: Good night everybody!