~Catty Couric Reports: The War on Chubbley Bears~

Cast: Carnation as Catty Couric

Dublin as Spruce

Dippy as Hazy

Frisco as Ann Nowar

Color Me Bunny as Muriel

Hodgepodge as Bone Phillips

 

Catty Couric: Good evening, this is NBC News. I’m Catty Couric. You’re not missing “Are You Hot?” because it was canceled again. This week, there has been much going on with the War on Chubbley Bears. Apparently I’m the official war correspondent for some reason. In Eaton Socon, there has been much fighting going on with the bears and Beanies. Let’s take a look at this clip of a battle that went on today in Eaton Socon.

[cut to clip]

Spruce: Hazy, do you think we should fire an ugly bomb?
Hazy: Nah. Let’s fire the de-colorization bomb so they’ll be white forever! Ha-ha-ha!
Spruce: Nah. Let’s do the ugly bomb.

[graphic of ugly bomb being blown up by rocket shown]

Hazy: I told you we should have done the de-co bomb! I told you!
Spruce: Oh, shut up. You give me a headache.

[back to studio]

Catty Couric: There you have it: Chubbley Bears at war against us. Here now to join us to talk about this is a cat who organized peace protests in New York, Ann Nowar.

Ann Nowar: Thanks for having me.

Catty Couric: Is Nowar really your last name?
Ann Nowar: Yeah. I officially changed it in January so I could get people to understand we should not go to war with the Chubbley Bears. They didn’t listen, so hopefully they’ll get it through their heads this time.
Catty Couric: It ain’t gonna happen. According to our latest poll, people favor war against the Chubbley Bears with a whopping 95%.

Ann Nowar: Are you crazy, woman? We’re both cats, so I’ll level with you. We’re not bears. The bears should be going to war with the Chubbley Bears, but they’re sending everyone out! They’re sending other Beanies’ lives to be ruined by the Chubbley Bears by dirtying them so they won’t be valuable anymore!

Catty Couric: Also, didn’t it ever occur that the less of something there is, the more valuable it should be? If there were to be many Twitterbug casualties, that would be a pretty rare Beanie by now.

Ann Nowar: Yeah, something like that. If my words won’t inspire you to cancel or postpone war, this will. I painted a friend’s chest with an inspiring design that will keep you from war. I’d like to introduce you to Muriel.

Muriel: NO WAR! The world should be at peace! No one should fight the Chubbley Bears!

Catty Couric: Has this affected anyone?
Ann Nowar: Just city traffic officials. Muriel’s record states she needs to serve 300 days in prison for blocking traffic.

Catty Couric: And is she doing that?
Ann Nowar: No. I’m afraid not. She’s sticking up for our cause: we must not let these people go out and ruin Ty’s chances of getting richer and richer!
Catty Couric: I see.

Ann Nowar: And it looks like Bone Phillips is interrupting your coverage. Let’s go to him right now, live at Ty Headquarters.

Catty Couric: No, please! Not the dog!
Bone Phillips: Catty, I’m live from Ty Headquarters. It sounds like Ty is planning to release Grunt as a jumbo size Buddy to fight off the Chubbley Bears.

Catty Couric: Interesting. Muriel, you have any points to make about this move?
Muriel: Just quit fighting!
Catty Couric: Really? What else?
Muriel: Nothing else.

Bone Phillips: Okay, then LIVE FROM THE BEANIE ZOO, IT’S BEANIEDAY NIGHT!