~Bunga Raya’s Internationale Bears Shau~
Cast: Mother as Bunga Raya

Smitten as Sakura

Baby Boy as Nipponia

Dublin as Wattlie

Nectar as Shakespeare

 

Announcer: Hola, you’re watching “Bunga Raya’s Internationale Bears Shau”, the shau where internationale bears talk to my amigo Bunga Raya about what’s going on in their lives. And now, heeeeere’s Bunga!

Bunga Raya: Gracias, gracias. Welcome to “Bunga Raya’s Internationale Bears Shau”, where I talk to my amigos about their homeland, what’s new with them, and all that stuff. We’ve got a great show tonight. We got the new UK exclusive Shakespeare here tonight in his debut television appearance in Malay-si-a. He is a kuzua. Anyway, let’s talk about me now. I’m a yellow bear and I really love sitting in the sun, so I can turn more gold. Okay, our first topic, Ty Canada. What the banana is going on in Canada right now? Nothing Beanie-related, and here to talk about this is a duo of Japanese exclusive bears, Sakura and Nipponia.

Sakura: Thank you for having me on the show.

Nipponia: Konichi-wa.

Bunga Raya: Yeah, hey. So, what do you two think of Canada?

Sakura: It’s a great place to be. We went to Canada once, and eh, those people were great.

Nipponia: Between the United States and Japan, Canada is our favorite country.

Bunga Raya: Hmm, glad to see you two think so positively about it. Somebody please pass me a papaya… oh; thank you. Now, are you two married or what the hell?
Nipponia: No relation. We’re just friends.

Sakura: It’s great to know each other. We love to travel to Canada and America all the time and it be good.

Bunga Raya: Fantastico. Anyway, there’s a war going on with the Chubbley Bears. What do you think of it in America?
Sakura: Go Beanies!
Nipponia: Those Chubbleys are a passing fad. I think we’re gonna beat them. They ain’t so cute.

Bunga Raya: Well, thank-a you for coming to talk to us about this. I’m glad you think good things. I think Steve Martin is a kuzua. Why did they get him to host the Oscars and not the Peace bear?
Nipponia: Steve Martin is a comedian. Peace bear an activist.

Sakura: I like Steve Martin. He great actor. He the Father of the Bride.

Bunga Raya: Yeah. For our viewers who don’t know, Steve Martin is an American. We love Americans. But don’t forget the Japanese, Canadians, and our good old Malay-si-ans. And don’t forget the Aussies, because our next guest is one of the only current internationale bears left along with Sakura II. Please welcome Wattlie!

Wattlie: G’day, mate.

Bunga Raya: Hola. Hola. Now, Wattlie, it says here that you camped out in Australia and a dingo ate your baby?
Wattlie: True, mate. A dingo came, snatched my baby, and ate him. That’s why Ty hasn’t released Wattlie II yet.

Bunga Raya: It’s actually very sad. I hate dingos.

Wattlie: But you know what I really like? Koalas. Especially the little sheilas.

Bunga Raya: You’re digging those koalas, aren’t you?
Wattlie: Big time.

Bunga Raya: I like koalas, but they never seem to come up to Malay-si-a. Guess the temperature is too hot, hot, hot!

Wattlie: Right now it isn’t too hot, hot, hot because it’s supposed to be winter in my country. Can you believe it? No holidays during our winter!
Bunga Raya: You still get U.S. Independence Day.

Wattlie: What’s to celebrate? We don’t get the Fourth of July; we get the 26^th of January!

Bunga Raya: That is tough. And you guys don’t have a barbecue like the Americans but as you say, “shrimp on the Barbie”.

Wattlie: Yeah. I love shrimp, mate. And blumenonion.

Bunga Raya: In Malaysia, the traditional meal is dog. Mm. Gotta love that dog.

Wattlie: Disgusting, mate.

Bunga Raya: Well, that’s our country. Speaking of which, I almost forgot, here in his Malay-si-an TV debut is the new UK exclusive… he has not yet been shipped to retailers or introduced by Ty, please welcome, Shakespeare!
Shakespeare: Good evening, Bunga.

Bunga Raya: Yeah, and a good evening to you, too. I believe you were only a rumored release…

Shakespeare: Rumors are now cleared up. I am a lovely British Beanie who will cure the corrupt Harry Potter generation with many plays and crap that no one really looks over much. People are always saying Harry Potter and Danielle Steel are the best books. What about me? Where does my work come in? I wrote The Telltale Head!
Bunga Raya: Poe! That was Poe, Senor Shakespeare! Edgar Allan stinkin’ Poe!

Shakespeare: Okay, but I wrote I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings! That was a legendary…

Bunga Raya: Senorita Maya Angelou! It was Maya Angelou! You can’t even remember one of your stories? Name me one of your stories.

Shakespeare: The Lord of the Rings.

Bunga Raya: Once again, not yours! That was Tolkien.

Shakespeare: No, that was me! I created that lovable little Gollum guy!

Bunga Raya: Bah, humbug! Bah, humbug! Are you familiar with that quote?
Shakespeare: Yeah. I wrote “A Christmas Carol”.

Bunga Raya: What the Dickens? Dickens! Dickens wrote that book “A Christmas Carol”! What about this, “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…”
Shakespeare: I wrote that poem. I also wrote “The Giving Tree”.

Bunga Raya: GRR! THAT WAS ROBERT FROST AND SHEL SILVERSTEIN! SENOR ROBERTO FROSTO AND SENOR SHELLO SILVERSTEINO!

Shakespeare: Say that again?
Bunga Raya: You’re not a kuzua! Tell me if you remember this quote: “What light from yonder window breaks?”
Shakespeare: Never heard it in my life.

Bunga Raya: THAT WAS YOU, DAMN IT! GRR!

Shakespeare: Guests, what do you think?
(Sakura, Nipponia, and Wattlie get up to smack themselves in the face)
Bunga Raya: That’s all the time we have. Join us tomorrow when we have Senor Emeril Lagasse. Adios!