~Weekend Update with Seadog~
Cast: Seadog as himself
Decade as himself
Bandito as Ty Warner
Lullaby as herself
Seadog: Good evening, I’m
Seadog, and here are tonight’s top stories:
This month’s Mary Beth’s Beanies and More reports of an upcoming Beanie Baby for the Ty Store called Duck-E. While no pictures have been spotted on the Internet, we can predict that the authentic version’s color will not be green.
Speaking of Mary Beth, she and Karen Gomes have announced this week that they are no longer affiliated with Mary Beth’s Beanies and More, in English, quitting. No reason why was stated, but now Mary and Karen can finally rock and roll all night and party every day.
Oh, this just in: Punxsutawn-E Phil is still retired.
The Ty website home page underwent a minor layout change, removing heart graphics for the Beanie Kids, Baby Ty, and Attic Treasures and adding one for Teenie Beanie Boppers. If it were me, I wouldn’t eat all my hearts.
Much controversy has been surrounded by Decade
with 10 variations reported, as well as pre-sale auctions on eBay for a purple
Decade after Ms. Janie posted a picture of one sent by a suspected prankster.
Here now to explain this is Decade.
Decade: Thank you very much,
Seadog. Why me? Why not Dublin? Why do I have to be the one to be made fun of?
Seadog: It’s your first day here. It’s tradition to pick on the new guy.
Decade: Yeah, I believe that.
Lullaby’s in the chat room and even that shy little lamb called me a dingus.
Seadog: Lambs can be tough.
That’s why they put those “Beware of lamb” signs up at the farm.
Decade: I am not purple. I am
blue. Blue is a guy color. Purple is a chick color. I am not a chick. Also,
chicks get pedicures. My nails are horrible. They look nothing like my pin.
That person who made that photo is just trying to get attention. By the way, I
think you can see him in the new reality TV series “American Counterfeiter”.
When people think of Beanie Baby bears, they think blue. Addison, blue. Baby
Boy, blue. Classy, blue. Decade, blue. I’m a masculine Beanie Baby bear and I
have one of the most popular bear colors out there!
Seadog: I see. Well, Baby Boy’s in the cast. Have you tried talking to
him?
Decade: Yeah, the only thing he told me was to go fly a kite.
Seadog: Hmm. Well, maybe you
can get a little feedback on this from Ms. Janie.
Decade: I can’t today, since
she’s sick. Maybe next week we can talk about this.
Seadog: Sorry, we cut that from
dress rehearsal.
Decade: Why me? God! I’m suing!
Seadog: Decade, everybody! Bigger and bluer!
Next week, Darren and David from Chubbley Ltd.
will be signing bears for a worthy cause… killing the infidels.
A new UK exclusive is soon to be released with the name Shakespeare in next delivery. How do I love thee… let me count the shelf sitters.
Last week, Ty announced that he would not be
taking any more memberships for the Beanie of the Month program after April 2,
so that means Ty might not need to have his butler count his money for him
after all.
In Pennsylvania, The Pocono Record has
reported a new store in the Stroud Mall, Beanie Boyz, which sells Beanie
Babies, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and other collectibles direct to kids. In a related
story, Chubbley Boyz, a store in that same mall, closed this week.
At the Ty Store a bunny shadow can be seen outside
the top right window. Don’t know what he’s doing there besides hiding from
Elmer Fudd. It’s almost wabbit season.
Cappuccino, the May 2003 Beanie of the Month, was unveiled on Ty’s website this Sunday, and here now with a look at the Beanies of the Month is Ty Warner.
Ty: No thank you. Good
evening, collectors. I won’t be here that long. Tonight will be my final
appearance doing this stuff. I’ve grown and will move on. So, before I do, I
wanted to announce the names of the next seven Beanies of the Month before they
actually came out. First, for June 2003 is Sledge II the hammerhead shark.
People really think this one will be valuable because it’s a shark. Then we
have for July, Taupe the bear. This bear will look just like Huggy, except with
a BOM emblem on the chest. Then for August, another dog. I think we’ll name
this one Pupsie. Then for September, Tree the owl. October, Dark the black cat.
November, Feathers the bird. People think those three will be the best Beanies
in the world. And for December… Me.
Seadog: Who’s Me?
Ty: You just write your name inside the tag and that’s the name of the
Beanie.
Seadog: Those are the worst
Beanie Baby ideas I’ve ever heard.
Ty: It’s okay to be free
spending, right? I mean, look at the people who make all these reality shows
and rap records. Well, I have to go… forever.
Seadog: So you’re leaving us?
Ty: I don’t know.
Seadog: Ty, everybody! Ty
Warner!
In other BOM news, Ty also silently retired
Sparkles and Holmes. Why didn’t he retire them when their months were over?
“They were so good they should be Employee of the Month again.”
The difference between a USA and UK Decade is not
by its color, but by its tag. USA Decades have tags with “Beanie Babies” on the
bottom; UK Decades have tags with “Beanies” over the star. In other news, read
more about this in my new book, “We Know That Already!”
And this week holds the record for the slowest
Beanie news week so far during the run of the chat series, but not as slow as
in 1996 when the only noteworthy news item was when Legs picked his nose.
On April 5, The Beanie Zoo will turn four years
old, and here to present the nominees for Beanieday Night Live’s special 4th
Anniversary Party is the March Info Beanie, Lullaby.
Lullaby: Thank you, Seadog. I’m
here to take a break from writing the Info Beanie diary so I can present the
nominees for hosts of one of the biggest nights in the Beanie community – the
Beanie Zoo’s fourth anniversary “Beanieday Night Live” special. If you want to,
I’ll sing you a lullaby to let you know who’s nominated.
Seadog: Uh, no thank you.
Lullaby: And the nominees are…
(singing) “Hope the bear and a cat named Beani,
Show some love to a sunshine bear, Cheery,
B.B. Bear and Celebrate to honor our birth,
Serenity the dove at a time where it’s worth,
India the tiger and Sneaky the leopard,
Harry the bear just happens to be my shepherd,
And finally, America, who’s special to all
After that event which happened in the fall,
So if you support The Beanie Zoo, don’t hesitate
Cast your vote now for the host so we can
celebrate.”
Seadog: Huh? Where am I? Oh, I
just had this dream, and – I don’t remember seeing you in there.
Lullaby: Vote now! Your vote
counts!
Seadog: Dave, next time, hire a Vegas showgirl instead of a lamb to read
nominees for anything!
Lullaby: Thanks for having me.
Seadog: Ohh… Lullaby, everybody! That’s the news; good night and have a pleasant tomorrow!