~Hayley Meets Ty~
Cast: Bandito as Ty Warner

Dublin as Steve

Scat as Hayley

Baby Girl as Lauren

Dippy as Peace

 

Ty: Steve, I don’t like being seen out in public. I’m like Madonna… I hate going places and watching TV.

Steve: This could be great for you, so Beanies could be back in business. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Ty: Why??? There’s going to be a war on Chubbley Bears soon! People should be focused on that! But no, everything is Pompey, Pompey, Pompey! Why don’t I just name all my Beanies Pompey so I can get attention?

Steve: You’re getting attention right now: negative attention. I think that boy over there just said, “Get a life,” and something else beginning with a “D” I don’t want to say. And people are more worried about war with Iraq than war with Chubbley Bears. We’re on high terror alert.

Ty: Country vs, country, product vs. product, it has some impact. Wonder why no one’s coming?

Steve: Oh, somebody will. Possibly a big fan.

Hayley: Lauren, I’m such a big fan of Ty’s. I read someplace his e-mail address is the same as the Info Beanie’s.

Lauren: So am I! I love that bunny with the ty-dye!
Hayley: Yeah, he’s cute… OH MY GOD! AAH! IT’S HIM!
Lauren: What?
Ty: Will you two girls relax already? I’ve got a headache here. My photographer made me stand up all day.

Hayley: Hi. My name is Hayley, and I run a website called Beanzaddiction, and I am like your biggest fan, because no one else gives a crap about collecting anymore.

Ty: Please don’t swear at me.

Hayley: Anything for you, great one.

Ty: What brings you to the trade show?

Hayley: I just love Beanies.

Lauren: More than me, your sister?
Hayley: Of course not… yes if you were a Beanie Bopper.

Steve: Yeah, everyone says that. Third time I heard that. It’s so inane.

Hayley: Huh?
Steve: Nothing you want to know. It’s not about Beanies.

Hayley: Anyway, why don’t I introduce you to my Peace bear? I call it the Beanzaddiction Peace.

Peace: He-he-he-he! Peace! Peace! P-P-P-Peace!
Ty: Is he supposed to be like that?
Hayley: He acts like a Pokemon, but he’s my Beanie Baby.

Peace: Huh?
Ty: That thing looks horrible. If I could make a Peace II, which I think I will because of what’s been going on in the world, it wouldn’t act like that.

Hayley: I understand you. I’ve seen Beanies and some of them act as weird as the kids I went to school with. How many kids did you see with body piercings when you went to school?
Ty: No one, but I dressed like that guy on the Monopoly game board. People used to call me “Rich snob” and “British loser”.

Hayley: That really must have made you feel bad. All the girls in my school wear a lot of Abercrombie and Fitch. Do you know how lousy-looking those clothes look? They make me look like Scat the cat!
Ty: Hmm.

Lauren: Come on, Hayley, we got to go.

Steve: No, no! Why don’t I take a picture of you guys together?
Ty: Oh, Shamrock. Okay, let’s get this over with.

Steve: Say “Beanies”!
All: BEANIES!

Ty: Great, great. Now, how about we go home?
Steve: Sorry, we’re booked for a flight to New York.

Ty: Why, why did I choose this life? Oh, yeah, because I wanted to get rich. Well, girls, it was nice meeting you, and that… monstrosity Peace bear.

Hayley: Monster-what?
Steve: Just go.

Hayley: Okay, but first, here are some of my business cards for the website. If you ever want to go on it, just type in the address.

Ty: Yeah, I know how to use a computer. See you in New York.

Hayley: Bye.

Ty: Bye. Steve, hurry up so we can get to the airport. I think they just got in a shipment of Color Me Bunny Beanies. I’d like to make one that looks like Kelly Osbourne.