~Friends~
Cast: Baby Girl as Rachel

Baby Boy as Ross

Smitten as Phoebe

Dublin as Chandler

Woody as Joey

Eggs III as Monica

Peace as Mike

 

Ross: Oh, Rachel, I can’t believe you’re going to have a baby!
Rachel: Yeah, I can’t wait. I think I’ll name this one Rachel II.

Ross: Oh, come on. Think of a better name than that. There’s so many II Beanies out there. Eggs II, Clubby II, Halo II, MC Beanie II… Just wait until they come out with a Beanie called Two and release another one called Two II!

Rembrandts: “I’ll be there for you, ‘cause you’re there for me too…”

Chandler: Okay, so it was you who dated Mike?
Phoebe: Yeah. Like, what’s wrong with that?

Chandler: Hmm. Everything.

Phoebe: Why? Am I too old? Am I, like, too old to date someone that cute? He’s tall, handsome, and ty-dyed!

Chandler: Stick with your own color, and find a pink bear.

Phoebe: But all the pink bears are, like, girls.

Chandler: Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Well, YOU LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME IF I’M WRONG!
Phoebe: I want candy.

(cut to a coffee shop called Tymes Square)

Joey: So, Valentine’s Day is coming up. Are you going to buy Chandler that coffee mug he’s always wanted?
Monica: AAH! AAH! AAH!
Joey: What? Why are you screaming?
Monica: I just got a message on my cell phone from this guy I don’t know.

Voice on phone: I know you’re alone. Do you like scary movies? Is your name Monica?

Joey: Wonder how this guy knows your name?
Mike: Hey, Joey. Hey, Monica.

Monica: Listen to this – I just got a…

Mike: Did my father call you again? He must not like when I hang out with you people.

Joey: Mike, don’t scare her. Just get your ty-dyed hippie butt away from her.

Mike: I thought we were friends… we’re supposed to be because that’s the name of the show.

Monica: What are you talking about?
Mike: I’m rehearsing to be on a radio show called “Friends”.

Joey: You know, you should change colors.

(cut back to apartment)
Ross: So, Chandler, why did Phoebe get so upset today?
Chandler: She thought I was insulting her. I told her not to date Mike because he’s ty-dyed.

Ross: You racist bear! Why did you tell her that?
Chandler: Um, yeah, that woman… so furry. I mean, bear.

Ross: You need to go see somebody. Want my card?
Chandler: No.

(cut to Mike’s apartment)
Mike: Rachel, you want a book of baby names?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. I can finally think of a good name for my new baby and let Ty release it.

Mike: You know the most popular name in there is “Mike”.

Rachel: Get out of here! Anyway, should I choose a II name?
Mike: How about “Peace II”? We always need more Peace.

Rachel: No. Maybe “Smooch II”.

Mike: I can’t stand this. I hate talking about baby names. Why don’t you talk to someone on your Internet group about this?

Rachel: I told you, no one wants to hear about it! They say “Hi” all day!
Mike: Wow. Goodbye.

(Rachel leaves and Monica enters)
Monica: My brother needs help thinking of a…

Mike: No! No! Get out!
Monica: Whatever, Forrest Grump.

(Monica leaves and Phoebe enters)
Mike: The last of the girls. What are you going to talk to me about, baby names?
Phoebe: I love you. Let’s kiss.

Mike: Huh?
Phoebe: I’m in the mood for love.

Mike: Maybe tomorrow.

Phoebe: Fine. I think Ross and the others don’t want me spending time with you, so, fine. I don’t want them to think I’m… well… in love with you.

Mike: But…

Phoebe: Like, that’s totally different. I really enjoyed that coffee they have at Tymes Square, and I’m so hyperactive, I’d like to settle down, but I just can’t stop.

Mike: You go from one subject to the next! What’s wrong with you people? I should really move out of New York and move to England. I can meet Britannia and Daffodil.
Phoebe: Can I come too?
Mike: Go dance in a stupid fountain.

Rembrandts: “…cause you’re there for me too.”
Announcer: “Friends” is not associated with the NBC sitcom of the same name.