~Weekend Update with Seadog~
Cast: Seadog as himself

Rusty as himself

Sidekick as himself

 

Seadog: Good evening, I’m Seadog, and here are tonight’s top stories:

 

British news site This Is Wiltshire reported on a Beanie Baby bear convention held recently at the Thistle Hotel in Swindon, where fans of Beanie Baby bears can go to buy and sell. It wasn’t also a great place to buy Beanies, but a great place to shed some pounds. If you know what I mean.

 

Beanieholics reported that Teenie Beanie Boppers were found on clearance at Books-a-Million, and in a further update, it was because of a small Hallmark being inside the store. In a related story, I just got a free bone in a pet shop inside a Sam Goody.

 

A Ty Talk Cyberboard poster recently said that he found authentic Canadian exclusive Kanata bears at Pathmark for $6.99. The owner of the Pathmark store where they were found commented, “So, that’s an exclusive, eh?”

 

Frisbee the dog’s tag has changed to include that “Frisbee” is a registered trademark of Wham-O. In a statement, Ty didn’t credit Wham-O when it first came out because he didn’t want to share his moolah.

 

Sal’s Attic has recently reported on Ty Season’s Greetings Christmas cards which were produced in Canada for limited release in Chicago kiosks and on greeting card artist Kinka’s website. Since Christmas has been over for a month now, the rest of the cards still available for sale, if any, will be burned. Or put on clearance.

 

This Monday, Ty retired Babe-E, the last in the Beanie Kids lineup, which obviously means there are no more current Beanie Kids and the line has been discontinued. In response to discontinuing the line, Ty stated, “I can’t have that many kids.”

 

On the premiere episode of “American Idol” on Tuesday, Teddy Jade the Beanie Buddy made a cameo appearance as Simon, a teddy bear who was thrown to the ground by one of the rejects. He landed up Simon’s “cheeks”.

 

It’s an honor to have Sidekick the dog, the August 2002 Info Beanie who is trying to compete to be the first Info Beanie ever to serve twice, as our host tonight. However, one of our cast members is peeved that he was once Info Beanie and he isn’t getting the attention he wants, so here tonight to speak out is our own Rusty the panda.

Rusty: Thank you, Seadog. Since the Info Beanie polls opened, voters chose Sidekick as first place. Surprise comebacks by Snocap and Groom occurred, but I haven’t gotten up yet. I have been below in the polls with, like, .25% each day. No one has been voting for me because of the voters’ big deal about Sidekick and the fact that he was already an Info Beanie and that he’s going to be Info Beanie again. Ty should be fair and give equal rights to all the other Beanies who were already Info Beanie. I was Info Beanie in October 2002, and around that time you could only have elected a Beanie for Info Beanie once. Quackers the duck was current for a year after being the first Info Beanie ever. Was he re-elected? No. Chocolate the moose was the only one from the original nine to be an Info Beanie, and he never got a bid for re-election. Fuzz and Luke, that gay couple, also never were eligible for re-election.

Seadog: Um, excuse me, but did you just say Fuzz and Luke were gay?
Rusty: “Hey, we’re buddies! Let’s type in different colors so they can tell us apart! Kissy, kissy, kissy!” Anyway, tell me why Jumbo Peace, or “JP” the Beanie Buddy was an Info Beanie.

Seadog: He only looked over the stupid polls in March 2000! I’m so sick of this stupid cast talking about the stupid Info Beanie just because our host is leading the stupid polls! Quit arguing!

(Sidekick enters)
Sidekick: I was in the dressing room getting ready for the next sketch and overheard you, Rusty. Sorry you feel this way about Fuzz and Luke.

Rusty: I was talking about you. We were both Info Beanies, and you’re winning and I’m losing.

Sidekick: Flaky’s not up for re-election and he got fired by Mr. Beanwell, but I don’t see him complaining. Come on, we’ll talk after I get dressed.

Rusty: Hmm, okay. About me or Fuzz and Luke?
Sidekick: Maybe both.

Seadog: Rusty for February 2003 Info Beanie, everybody! Vote Rusty!

 

The recent Beanie buzz has been about the Hallmark exclusive gold crown bear Beanie Baby, and the most recent Beanie buzz involving me is that I want to be retired so I can get the heck out of Hallmark.

 

On this week’s Ask Ty, Ty Warner answered a question about how many times it takes to get the right amount of beans in each Beanie Baby style, saying it took five tries to get the right amount of beans in me. In a related story, it took ten tries to get the Robert Downey Jr. Beanie Baby out of jail.

 

Ms. Janie has a new collectible friends message board that includes trades and feedback, and you know what my favorite collectible is? Money I get from people I do HTML for. Janie, I’ll chat for hours about my collectible, but I ain’t trading.

 

That’s the news. Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.