~Bunga Raya’s Internationale Bears Shau~
Cast: Mother as Bunga Raya
Libearty as himself
Ai as herself
Announcer: Hola, you’re watching
“Bunga Raya’s Internationale Bears Shau”, the shau where internationale bears
talk to my amigo Bunga Raya about what’s going on in their lives. And now,
heeeeere’s Bunga!
Bunga Raya: Gracias, gracias.
Welcome to “Bunga Raya’s Internationale Bears Shau”, where I talk to my amigos
about their homeland, what’s new with them, and all that stuff. We’ve got a
great show tonight. Tonight we have a real kuzua... the first USA exclusive
Beanie Baby, Libearty! Yeah! But before we bring him out, I gotta talk about
me. First of all, I haven’t been able to see that movie “Bend It Like Beckham”
but I heard from my friends it probably stunk anyway. I can entertain myself,
really. Also, I want you all to vote Wirabear back up in the Info Beanie polls!
Damn, it’s cold. Okay, it’s time to bring out our first guest. Please welcome,
the handsome looking hunka hunka burning love known as Libearty!
Libearty: Wow! What a great crowd
here in Malaysia! Was pretty hard getting through all those security guards,
though. Thanks so much for having me on the show tonight.
Bunga Raya: You’re welcome. Now,
you’re single again. What the hell?
Libearty: Well, I went out with so many lovely ladies but they didn’t
have any darn respect for America. They spat in water fountains, they kicked
dirt, they broke glass with images of the American flag on them…
Bunga Raya: If you don’t be
patriotic in Malay-si-a, you die.
Libearty: Yes, I know that. I
don’t know why, but… yeah. You should be lucky your country isn’t in any crisis
right now. I mean – you got it all. What the plum would you do without this
talk show?
Bunga Raya: Oh my god, you do the fruit thing! What the papaya?
Libearty: I just love it. I’m as
American as apple pie, and apples are fruit.
Bunga Raya: Well done, my lad!
Maybe the two of us should go out?
Libearty: Well, I’m pretty sure we can arrange a date…
Bunga Raya: Hold that thought, as
we introduce our next guest, the sexy diva who did the voice of Lucy Liu’s
character in the Charlie’s Angels animated adventures that I look at on the
Internet, please welcome, Ai!
(wild cheers and applause)
Ai: Thank you! Thank you!
I’m in “The Animatrix”, too!
Libearty: Now, Bunga Raya, about
that date…
Ai: Date? You aren’t going
to interview me about that sexy shoot I did with Maxim Magazine? I did a shot
with Kelly Hu and a bunch of Japanese tennis players!
Bunga Raya: Well, you can go talk to the Connie Chung about that. I
don’t get Maxim in Malay-si-a.
Ai: I did this shoot in
America, so that’s how I know about it.
Libearty: Bunga, wait. When are
you good for dinner?
Ai: You’re dating this manly American stud? Back off, Bunga. You’re old
news. Don’t you want a ty-dye lover?
Libearty: You know, you’re Japanese, but I really can’t hear if you have
an accent. But you look gorgeous…
Bunga Raya: Ai, you’re not a kuzua
anymore! You’re a slut!
Ai: What did you call me, Bunga?
Bunga Raya: I think I’ll go smack myself in the face in the bathroom.
Libearty, take over for me.
Libearty: “We’ll be right back
with Ang Lee, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and other handsome international men.
Plus, more with the most handsome bear in the world, Libearty.”
Ai: Well, she did leave, so…
Libearty: “Plus… LIVE FROM THE BEANIE ZOO, IT’S BEANIEDAY NIGHT!”