~Flip Wilson~
Cast: Fancy as Flip Wilson

Smartest as John Pavlik

Tubbo as audience member

Carnation as Kathleen Fearn-Banks

 

Announcer: Here now to make a speech about his new scholarship, Flip Wilson.

Flip Wilson: Thank you, thank you. Lordy, lordy. Five years ago I died. But I’m here now to accept the scholarship because my name is also Flip Wilson. I am not THE Flip Wilson, the late Flip Wilson, but I can act like him. I’m here tonight to say, I am proud to fund this new annual scholarship at Rutgers University. Tell them why, Mr. John Pavlik, who is the chairman of journalism and media studies department of the Rutgers New Brunswick campus.

John Pavlik: Thank you, Clerow.

Flip Wilson: My name is really Flip. I’m not THE Flip Wilson. I look like Flip the cat, the Beanie Baby.

John Pavlik: Whatever. The first recipient of the Flip the Cat Wilson scholarship will be announced next spring, based on part of a 500-word essay focusing on some aspect of Mr. Wilson’s career.

Flip Wilson: I’ll be right back… I need to go to the bathroom.

Audience member: Get to Geraldine!
Flip Wilson: I swear I’ll do Geraldine at one point…

Audience member: Come on, this is a snoozefest! Get to Geraldine!

John Pavlik: Shut up, wiseguy. I will have you discarded from the remainder of the ceremony if you don’t shut up.

Audience member: YOU should shut up! That is a funny man!

John Pavlik: While I deal with this hellion, here is former Flip Wilson publicist Kathleen Fearn-Banks.

Kathleen Fearn-Banks: Thank you, Mr. Pavlik. I convinced…

Flip Wilson: Here I am, everybody! It’s Geraldine! What you see is what you get!
Kathleen Fearn-Banks: Hi, Geraldine! And what do you have to say about the scholarship? Why did you put together such a great thing like this to help these students?
Flip Wilson: The devil made me do it! The devil made me a cat! The devil made me here today! The devil made me do so much I don’t know where I’d be without him!

Kathleen Fearn-Banks: Hmm, and I wonder who this devil is? Is he a friend of yours or something?
Flip Wilson: I don’t know what the hell the devil… wait, he lives there! Now I know what I’m talking about! The devil made me dinner! The devil made me breakfast! The devil made my bed!
Kathleen Fearn-Banks: When Flip’s show first went on the air in 1970, I thought to myself, “This Geraldine thing is going to get old quick.”
Flip Wilson: The devil also made me LIVE FROM THE BEANIE ZOO, IT’S BEANIEDAY NIGHT!