~Monologue~

Cast: Neon as herself

Colosso as Coral

Seadog as Derby

 

Neon: Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! It’s a pleasure to be here on “Beanieday Night Live”! Okay, um, summer’s almost here, next week is Flag Day, Father’s Day, a lot of people graduating… it’s a big month. Also looking forward to the summer gift shows. I wasn’t invited because I don’t work for Ty, but I’m bribing everyone to try to get me tickets. Anyway, right now I don’t know who my father is, because Ty didn’t make any seahorses before me. Maybe Derby and Coral are my parents. I’m not sure, just guessing. That’s actually really creepy. Anyway, before I talk about what I need to…

(Derby and Coral walk up on stage)
Coral: Ow! I hate these stages! I hate land! Why can’t we go back home? I sleep in a fish bowl near your stable!
Derby: Oh, come on, Coral; stop being such a woman.

Neon: You’re not my mom and dad. Coral, you have tusks, and Derby, you aren’t wearing any horseshoes.

Derby: I’m a naturist.

Coral: I work for a freak show.

Neon: How come nobody has told me you two were my parents and that you two had the cruddiest jobs I’ve heard of?
Coral: I like freak shows.

Derby: I don’t have to run like an idiot. Horse racing is so stupid. They call it the sport of kings, but people gamble over it – why?
Neon: I bet $1,000 you can run around the studio in two minutes!
Coral: He can’t even run one lap in two minutes. He’s some sort of turtle horse or something. I should get him horseshoes, but he hates it.

Neon: Hmm, well they call me a seahorse because my head looks like a horse’s. I have fins. Which reminds me, I need my asthma treatment before I can do the show because I can’t breathe in air… (starts wheezing) Happy place, happy place, happy place! Well, that’s about it here. Okay, we’ve got a great chat for you tonight! My parents are here! We’ve got some cool new cast members! Stick around; we’ll be right back!