~Boring Political Talk~
Cast: Smartest as Boring Political

Mom-E as Sally Davis

Seadog as Fred Fraser

 

Boring Political: Welcome to “Boring Political Talk”. I’m Boring Political. Please don’t laugh because that is my real name. I didn’t have the judge legally change it because she thought I was too boring and too political. Everyone I watch on TV is either boring, political, or both. Anyway, our show tonight revolves around the Ty Canada crisis and this thing with liquidizing. Here to talk about it is our first guest, the owner of a drugstore in Ottawa, Ontario, Sally Davis.

Sally Davis: Thanks for having me, Boring. You look boring, you smell boring, and you are boring, but thanks for having me anyway. I can’t be impolite or else I won’t get any visitors. I’ve been in big business since I started selling fake SARS antidotes.

Boring Political: Just like Ciphro for the anthrax?
Sally Davis: Pretty much, except this is fake. I just put M&M’s candies in prescription cases.

Boring Political: Well, you’re going a little off-topic. First question, when did you first receive Beanie Babies in your drugstore?
Sally Davis: Two weeks ago. It wasn’t long before I knew I’d be getting Beanies because I needed them as props for a play my daughter was going to be in called “The Toys That Saved Mother’s Day”.

Boring Political: If I sat through that, it would be like watching Tom Brokaw. Anyway, Sally, on to question 2: who told you you’d be getting Beanies shipped to your store?
Sally Davis: Um, that was my manager, Steve. He tells me everything from what prices each items should be to what items should be a rip-off. It’s all good.

Boring Political: Hmm, it’s all good, huh? Well, Beanie collectors in Canada seriously hope that Ty will not discontinue the Beanie Babies in Canada. They aren’t doing it here.

Sally Davis: If Canadians can’t get what they want, they can always sail down to international waters. It rains Beanies there.

Boring Political: And where is that?
Sally Davis: I don’t know. I think it’s between Shangri-La and the Land of Make-Believe.

Boring Political: I know where the Land of Make-Believe is. It’s in Hope, New Jersey. It’s an amusement park. Do you like amusement parks?
Sally Davis: I didn’t know there was a business called the Land of Make-Believe. It doesn’t rain Beanies there, does it?
Boring Political: Unfortunately, no. Well, that’s about all the time we have for being interesting. Back to the boring stuff… “Stocks went down…” ah, who cares. Back to this, we have another side of the story. Here now to speak with us is another Ty retailer who’s happy about the possibility of Ty Canada disbanding, Fred Fraser. How are you doing?
Fred Fraser: Boring.

Boring Political: So am I.

Fred Fraser: I hate Beanie Babies. That’s another thing for sure.

Boring Political: So, why thrilled about Ty Canada?
Fred Fraser: Beanies blow. I think with the economy down, people need to focus on more important things like funds and mortgages and Chinese restaurants.

Boring Political: Yeah, I hear that business is doing bad because there aren’t a lot of Chinese in Canada.
Fred Fraser: How do you know that for sure?
Boring Political: I pay attention to the National Enquirer.

Fred Fraser: Boring, the National Enquirer is a gossip magazine, or whatever that junk is classified as.

Boring Political: Some think of it as a newspaper that is less boring than this show.

Fred Fraser: I think also, with summer coming up and the SARS threat, the tourism thing is going down too. We should stop all tourism and focus on local stuff.

Boring Political: Sally, what do you think?
Sally Davis: This Ty retailer doesn’t care at all. He must learn to love the Beanie Baby because if I’m forced to sell Beanies I’m going to have a riot in my drugstore. Everyone wants the bargains.

Boring Political: Good point. However, we’re out of time to do boring stuff. It’s time to be interesting. I’m Boring Political, saying, have a boring night.