~The Curly Show~
Cast: Woody as Curly
Erin, Fortune, Glory, Peace, Princess, and
Valentino as themselves
Announcer: You’re watching B! Bear
Television. Coming up next, “The Curly Show”.
Curly: It’s the only late
night talk show for the bears, by the bears, hosted by a bear, “The Curly
Show”! Oh, my God! I don’t know how much applause I deserve! Thank you, my
pretties! Thank you so much! Curly here, once again! Man, I am so happy, people
think I’m gay! What kind of lint is that? Anyway, before I get to important
business, what is the deal with the new horse Filly? I mean Ty must love
horsies! “Look at me, I have ten million horsies in my Beanie collection!
Horsie! Horsie!” Ty, just don’t be complaining when people call you a horsie.
Anyway, today is special for me because it’s my birthday! Yeah, it’s my party,
and I’ll cry if I want to! Yeah, shorty, it’s my birthday! Ha-ha! So before I
introduce my really, really special guests, let me just sing a song: “Happy
birthday to me, happy…” ah, forget it. It’s too lame. I’m gonna miss the Kids’
Choice Awards if I keep this up. Let’s just introduce my bestest buds, they
were current at the time I was popular and not reduced to making money by doing
this piece of garbage late-night talk show… sorry, I didn’t mean it that way! I
have to tell my producers to let me go of my contract. Anyway, let’s introduce
my best friends: Valentino, Peace, Princess, Erin, Fortune, and Glory!
(the six bears enter to the sound of loud applause)
Curly: Valentino! What have you been up to lately?
Valentino: Well, I’m married to
Valentina. I hold a job as a late night DJ who plays love songs at night on
WLUV FM. I’ve called into your show under the name “Lovey McLuv” so people
wouldn’t know it was me.
Curly: So that’s why you
sounded like a dork. Ha-ha! Peace, what do you think of the new Peace Beanie
Baby that just came out last weekend?
Peace: Well, I’m glad that Ty is trying to help out and think of others
because of the war on Iraq and Chubbley Bears, but everybody knows I was the
first Peace bear to come out and I am number one.
Curly: You WERE number one,
but now you’re number 142. Ha-ha!
Peace: I know, because I used
to be hard to find but now I’m not! Yeah, I get it!
Curly: Yeah! Princess, what’s been going on with you?
Princess: Still commemorating to
the Diana fund. The PVC version of me is easier to get, um, the PE version is
pretty cheap, and I believe people don’t counterfeit me because I’m not number
one any more. Now I’m number 173.
Curly: Just like Peace. Hey,
you’re more popular than she is!
Princess: You’re number 232.
Curly: JEEZ! Erin, you hosted
“Beanieday Night Live” last month. What was that like?
Erin: It was a good experience. I’d go back, but that Woody really
scared me during the skits, and since he’s hosting tonight, I decided I should
steer clear of…
Curly: Yak-yak-yak-yak! I’m
Erin, and I’m a gossip! Yak-yak-yak-yak-yak! I’m the only one who should be
talking! Yak-yak-yak-yak-yak! Fortune, are you still worth a fortune?
Fortune: No. The magazine is still named after me, and I’m more populous
than a real panda. If Ty could transform me into a real panda they wouldn’t be
endangered.
Curly: Unless Beanies could
die. Ha-ha! Glory, any thoughts on the past?
Glory: These colors don’t run. That’s all I can say right now. Red white
and blue… if you’re not with it screw you.
Curly: Ha-ha! That’s the only
one I couldn’t think of a good way to make fun of! I really enjoyed this
special birthday celebrity roast, and if there is anything you’d like to say
before I end the show…
Peace: Oh, we have something.
Everyone, 1, 2, 3…
All seven: LIVE FROM THE BEANIE ZOO, IT’S BEANIEDAY NIGHT!