~Monologue~
Cast: Serenity as herself
Frisco as Emma Whiskers
Serenity: Thank you! Thank you,
everybody! Let me be the first to say how proud I am to be the host of
tonight’s show, as we honor The Beanie Zoo’s 4th Year on Yahoo
Groups! Yeah! You know, The Beanie Zoo group was one of the most successful…
Emma Whiskers: PORN! The Beanie
Zoo Yahoo Group is porn! The Zoo-ees are a bunch of people who can’t tell the
difference between clean and dirty! They should not be saluted tonight!
Serenity: Emma Whiskers, what are you doing here?
Emma Whiskers: I protested against the war on Chubbley Bears, got
arrested for it, and got bailed out. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be arrested
again for this, but seriously, I can’t take you porno freaks!
Serenity: I’m hosting the show tonight, so it better be clean. I’ve done
all the cleaning to make it a better place here. Now get out.
Emma Whiskers: You don’t need my
help? You DO need my help! The cast should be ashamed of themselves! Everyone
only has themselves to blame for the controversy surrounding them! The topical
sketches presented in each show are offensive to the viewers and the Beanies
and everyone relating! Ty is not a nasty buzzard!
Serenity: Keep it clean, Emma.
Emma Whiskers: No! I especially
don’t like the fact that Seadog is doing “Weekend Update”! He’s an unfunny and
offensive dog! They might as well have Triumph the Insult Comic Dog do the
segment! He hates everybody!
Serenity: This is an Internet
chat room, not “Conan O’Brien”, so you don’t have to…
Emma Whiskers: Let this be a
lesson to you, “Beanieday Night Live”: don’t celebrate four great years of a
great club, because you ain’t so great!
Serenity: Um… Emma Whiskers, everyone, who seems to not realize that she
interrupted my monologue. We’ve got a great chat tonight, because PVC Princess
is here to be given away, so stick around. We’ll be right back!