~Birthday Feud~
Cast: Pappa as Richard Karn
The 2002’s: Baby Boy, Baby Girl, Flaky, Seadog,
and Serenity as themselves
The 1999’s: 1999 Signature Bear, Cheeks, Groovy, Neon,
and Swirly as themselves
Announcer: It’s time to play The
Birthday Feud! And now, here’s your host, Richard Karn!
Richard Karn: Thank you, thank you. Welcome to the Feud. I’m Richard
Karn. You might remember me from “Home Improvement”, and that I replaced a big
fat scratchy-voiced guy as host of this show. Let’s meet our generations; we
have the 2002’s and the 1999’s! Let’s get to our first round, first competing
are Serenity and 1999 Signature Bear! Okay, we surveyed 10 Ty Inc. employees,
top 5 answers on the board: name a Beanie with a birthday of 1993. (buzzer)
Serenity?
Serenity: Knuckles!
Richard Karn: Okay, show me
Knuckles! (strike alarm sounds) Aw, I’m sorry, that’s not on the board. 1999
Signature Bear, give me an answer.
1999 Signature Bear:
Uh… Spot!
Richard Karn: Okay, Spot. Show me “Spot”! (ding) That’s right! #2
answer! Pass or play?
1999 Signature Bear: We’re gonna play.
Richard Karn: Okay, let’s meet
our 1999-ers, first up, Cheeks the baboon. Tell us about yourself.
Cheeks: Uh, what can I say? My
ass is ty-dyed.
Richard Karn: Okay, that’s
great! Name another Beanie Baby whose birthday is in 1993.
Cheeks: Uh… uh… Patti!
Richard Karn: Patti. I like that. Show me Patti! (ding) #3 answer! Good
for you! Now, moving on, let’s meet Groovy! What do you do?
Groovy: I’m a DJ for a classic
rock station, and I sell ty-dyed T-shirts at a flea market.
Richard Karn: Okay, name
another Beanie Baby born in 1993.
Groovy: Uh… Legs!
Richard Karn: Show me Legs!
(ladies in audience groan)
Richard Karn: I didn’t mean it that way. Show me Legs! (ding) #4 answer
on the board! Next up, she celebrated her fourth birthday on Tuesday, please
welcome Neon!
Neon: Thank you! Yes, I will
take a cupcake.
Richard Karn: We have more than
that backstage for you. Anyway, another Beanie born in 1993?
Neon: Hmm, this is tough… uh… Pinchers!
Richard Karn: All right,
Pinchers. Show me Pinchers! (ding) #5 answer! One more for the win, and next in
the group is Swirly!
Swirly: I don’t have a life. And my guess is… um, Peanut!
Richard Karn: Okay, Peanut. Why didn’t I think of that? Show me Peanut!
(strike alarm sounds) Okay, back to 1999 Signature. Name a Beanie that was born
in 1993?
1999 Signature Bear: Um… uh, Seamore!
Richard Karn: Show me Seamore! (strike alarm sounds) Second strike.
Cheeks, it’s up to you.
Cheeks: Bongo!
Richard Karn: Bongo! Show me Bongo! (strike alarm sounds) Third strike.
1999’s, if you get this you get the money.
Baby Boy: I know what it is!
Baby Girl: No, I know what it is!
Serenity: Quit fighting! I bring peace!
Seadog: And I bring drool.
Richard Karn: Okay, we need an
answer.
Flaky: Chocolate.
Richard Karn: Yum. Show me
Chocolate! (ding) You get the money!
Neon: But we got four correct!
Richard Karn: Ah, nobody cares. Let’s go to the next round. We’re
tripling the points. Let’s get Flaky and Cheeks. You two ready?
Flaky: You know I am.
Richard Karn: Okay, we surveyed
two Ty Inc. employees; top one answer on the board. Name a Beanie born in 1990.
(buzzer) Flaky?
Flaky: Germania!
Richard Karn: Hmm… I’m not sure about that. Show me Germania! (ding) The
2002’s win! Sorry 1999’s, we’re gonna have to send you home.
Swirly:
Ridiculous! First I lose all my money, and now this!
Cheeks: You’re cheap. We’re going on “Survivor”.
Richard Karn: We don’t need
you. Who’s playing Fast Money? Okay, Seadog and Serenity, come on up! You know
the deal. I’ll name you a Beanie and you’ll tell me when you think its birthday
was. Let’s put 20 seconds on the clock: Nanook.
Seadog: December 20, 1995.
Richard Karn: Pinky.
Seadog: January 28, 1994.
Richard Karn: Erin.
Seadog: May 2, 2001.
Richard Karn: Lizzy.
Seadog: June 3, 1996.
Richard Karn: Grunt.
Seadog: March 10, 1994!
Richard Karn: Okay, now Serenity’s up. Remember, Serenity, you can’t say
what his answer was to the question. Let’s let the viewers at home know what
Seadog’s answers are and put them on the board. Let’s now put 25 seconds on the
clock: Nanook.
Serenity: November 19, 1996.
Richard Karn: Pinky.
Serenity: February 14, 1995.
Richard Karn: Erin.
Serenity: March 7, 1997.
Richard Karn: Lizzy.
Serenity: June 3, 1996… (buzzer)
Oh, uh, May 1, 1998!
Richard Karn: Grunt.
Serenity: July 31,
19-fizzity-dock!
Richard Karn: Okay, for fast money,
both of you got nothing right, so we’ll give your family a consolation prize
of… ONE DOLLAR!
Serenity: They were right… this is a rip-off!
Richard Karn: Be good to your families. Come join our generations next
time on the Birthday Feud.