~American Idol: The Ty 2000 Beanies Edition~
Cast: Seadog as Ryan Seadog

Serenity as Randy Jakeson

Smartest as Paul-a Abdul

Frisco as Siam Cowell

Baby Girl as Eggs

Sport as Regal

Eggs III as Yours Truly

Dublin as Diddley

Decade as The Beginning

 

Ryan Seadog: The search was narrowed down to five… which Beanie Baby would make it into Ty’s 2000 Beanies line-up and which four would go home? Find out on tonight’s “American Idol: The Ty 2000 Beanies Edition”.

(“American Idol” theme plays)
Ryan Seadog: Welcome to “American Idol: The Ty 2000 Beanies Edition”. I’m Ryan Seadog. I still don’t know why dogs shouldn’t dress up like me. Tonight we’ve got five of the finalists who might become the next American Idol in the Ty 2000 Beanies line-up, and they are: Eggs the bear, Regal the terrier, Yours Truly the bear, Diddley the dog, and The Beginning bear! It has been a great first few months, but before we get into that, let’s meet our judges. He’s not a dog but he loves calling people that, the man we like to call Randy Jakeson!
Randy Jakeson: Yo, yo, yo, what’s up? Y’all wanna see some pictures of me when I was 100 pounds thinner?
Ryan Seadog: Maybe after the show. Next up, she’s the queen of nice next to Rosie O’Donnell, say hello to Paul-a Abdul!
Paul-a Abdul: Yeah! I’m sweet!
Ryan Seadog: Of course. And, the Grinch. Everyone please welcome, the man our contestants hate and our female viewers love, it’s Siam Cowell!
Siam Cowell: You’re a horrid host. As a matter of fact, I criticized someone for being the worst host in America, but I think you’re the worst host in the world.

Ryan Seadog: Tell that to Brian Dunkleman.

Siam Cowell: In my short years as a cat, I have never seen anyone so despicable that…

Ryan Seadog: WOOF!
Siam Cowell: I mean, you’re great.

Ryan Seadog: Thank you. Let’s meet our first performer, the lovely pink Easter bear; please welcome Eggs!
Eggs: “Choose me, choose me, to be your next BEEEEAAAAANIIIIEEE!”

Ryan Seadog: Wow! Randy?
Randy Jakeson: Eggs, Eggs, Eggs. I love your style, but I just don’t feel it this time.

Paul-a Abdul: You’re a sweet Beanie, Eggs, but I didn’t like that performance.

Siam Cowell: I’m not the Chunky Chubbley Bear, but that performance bloody sucked. I can download that for free on AOL Broadband.

Eggs: Oh, shut up, Siam. I used to think you were a rare Beanie, but now you suck.

Ryan Seadog: Okay, now Eggs may not have gotten such a great treatment, but let’s see what our next performer has to give us, please welcome Regal!
Regal: “I wanna be your next Beanie Baby, and if you choose me, I’ll love you forevvvver!”
Randy Jakeson: Regal, that was great, man, but you could have done a little better.

Paul-a Abdul: I love you. You’re cute, you have a great voice, and everything is just great.

Siam Cowell: The problem with that performance is that you’re a dog, and dogs tend to howl so much. You act like a dog and sound like one, too. And you make me sick as a dog.

Regal: WOOF!
Siam Cowell: I don’t take back my statements.

Ryan Seadog: Maybe we shouldn’t put dogs on the show. Next is a beautiful bear that we think may make it into the final two… Yours Truly!
Yours Truly: “Hallmark, Hallmark, I come from Hallmark, and I wanna be your babe!”

Randy Jakeson: Fun, short, and sweet. I liked that.

Yours Truly: Thank you.

Paul-a Abdul: I loved that. It was the shortest performance but the best all night.

Siam Cowell: You’re what the competition is looking for. Don’t turn into a dog on us.

Yours Truly: I’ll try not to.

Ryan Seadog: I hope that doesn’t mean me. Speaking of dogs, let’s go on to our next contestant, Diddley!

Diddley: “I’m a dog, a green dog, and it ain’t easy bein’ green!” Thank you, thank you. Please buy my new CD.

Randy Jakeson: Man, that stunk.

Paul-a Abdul: Tell me about it.

Siam Cowell: What more can I say? Diddley, you are not fit to be a Beanie Baby. That’s all.

Diddley: Okay. Thank you for the chance.

Ryan Seadog: Jeez… chance? More like he’s got no pants. Anyway, our last performing Beanie is a lovely bear who hates the mass retirement of Ty’s Beanies, please welcome The Beginning!
The Beginning: “Ty should make me into a Beanie because I want him to make… MOOOOOOOORE!”

Randy Jakeson: Man, oh man, oh man! I love it. You are like Kelly Clarkson meets Ruben Studdard! I just love you!
Paul-a Abdul: You have a unique voice and look. You’re gonna make it.

Siam Cowell: Um, listen, Beginning Bear, it looks like the beginning of… well, your career. I think you’ll win this competition.

Ryan Seadog: Okay, now let’s get into our bottom two. America voted Diddley and Regal into the bottom two. Judges, who do you think will stay?
Randy Jakeson: My dawg Regal.

Paul-a Abdul: Regal.

Siam Cowell: Regal.

Ryan Seadog: Hmm, you might be wrong. Okay, let’s read what it says on the card… oh, we’ll announce the winner after our commercial break! Just kidding. Diddley goes home.

Randy Jakeson: Good.

Siam Cowell: Never sing again, Diddley.

Ryan Seadog: Now the competition is down to four… who will win? Join us again on “American Idol: The Ty 2000 Beanies Edition”.