Any how here's the story. A coworker, futher down to be acknowledged as asshat, recently decided (after his current POS broke down) to upgrade from a fucking broken ass hyundai excel to slightly better Chrysler Cirrus. Mind you the vehicle is a 1997 model year and he got it for only 2000 bucks (a deal to be sure.... I guess). I guess it's the first time he drove a car with enough power to get out of it's own way. Maybe he shat himself when he first put the pedal to the floor becuase as soon as I saw him like the second day after he got it he was bragging about how powerful it was and how it would beat my car. The following conversation insued.
Me: "Not my 200 though..."
asshat: "Yea it would"
Me: "You're fucking nuts dude.... that shit ain't happening"
asshat: "Yes it would your car's only a 4 cylinder right?"
Me: "Yea a 4 cylinder turbo... You wanna name a light?"
asshat: "haha yea"
Me: "Alright then prepare for your doom. As soon as it's back on the road you're fucked."
Soon I will be making good on that threat. For you see I've already researched the car. It might be good for delivering pizzas but it ain't no performer..
From what I gather a stock one fresh from the factory should run approximately 17.2 in the 1/4 mile. Problem is asshat not only doesn't have modifications done to it to make it any faster but it has a good bit of mileage on the clock. Wear and tear make a car go slower there professor..... besides the fact that american sedans are about as sport tuned as granny panties doesn't make it any better. A 3150 granny panty wearing pig with 168hp at the crank.Yea that's some gooood stuff.
My car on the other hand *sigh* I guess I'll tip my hand here. Is a 1986 (that's right 86) Nissan 200sx. It has 1.8L turbocharged engine. Unlike asshat I have done quite a bit to it. A larger turbo, electronic boost controller... you know what i'm even going to go into it any further becuase it doesn't matter. Last time I checked my car runs a 15.6 1/4 mile and that's on Low boost. Not fast to be sure but definately fast enough... For you see....
17.2>15.6 You fail professor
And if I get an email saying something along the lines of....
"LOL YOU MAGAZINE RACER STFU!!!"
Look morons it doesn't take Einstein to figure out a lambo is going to waste a Yugo in a race. Just like any cumrag can figure out that unless I'm lying or my car breaks I won't lose to professor asshat.
Now I know asshat looks at this page and in fact this page is meant to put in perspective my future triumph. So you reading that there professor? As soon as I'm done upgrading my brakes and get my car through inspection....
YOU ARE FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR DOORS WILL BE BLOWN THE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!! THEN I WILL FUCK YOUR GIRL AND LEAVE HER IN A DITCH!!!
So until such time that I school your ass in Newton's law of motion number 2. I leave you with what you will hear as I leave you in my exhuast trail