Anh Phuong,
Remember when I was around 6 or 7, you took me and all of Chi Tam's kids to sacramento for the state fair? I remember it like it was yesterday. It was my first time ever going to anything like that. I was soo excited that night I couldn't even sleep, none of the kids did. I remember u took us to Genie's moms house. But none of us kids wanted to sleep inside. We all wanted to sleep out in your truck. You were so great. You let us.. and we all stayed up telling ghost stories. And of course the next morning.. you took me to my very first fair of any sort and we all had fun. You even gave all us kids money to spend on rides and everything else. Yeah those were the good old days. You were the only brother that ever spend time with me as a child. You always took me out to lil things like the state fair, or anything you know i would have fun and was new to me. I remember when i was in the hospital at the age of 3, you came to oakland and spent a whole month there with me. I remember you use to tell me if i cried on New Years, I'd grow horns and a tail. I remember you use to try to teach all of us kids kung fu! LoLz I remember how u use to try to teach me how to be a good kid. You use to tell me to clean up my room and all that other stuff. But u know what I dont remember? I dont remember you ever yelling at me! You were always the loving one. You spoke to me as my brother... not an older authority figure like most people. Then after awhile, u had to leave. You moved and I barely got to see u. Now it's to late. You're gone forever. I love you soo much and you will never ever get to know. I never got the chance to tell you how much I love you. I can still remember the last time i heard your voice. I remember everything you said to me... Do u remember? You called dads house lookin for dad, and i picked up. U even said.. Thu huh? and of course i replied.. ya... and then for some reason.. u mistakenly said.. Co ong Ngoai o Nha khong? N i remember laughing in my head and thinking to myself... hahaha he just ask me for ong Ngoai, and that's our dad. Not grandpa! But it just made me wanted to laugh. That's what you were good at. You were the light of the family. Everyone loved you. I dont think i can think of one person who ever even hated u. And you know our family have problems. It's always the one that everyone loves most that has to go first. Till this day.. i still dont understand why it had to be you!! Why what had happened had to happen? It's so unfair! I can still remember the day u left us. I remember everything!! I remember the last time i saw u in the hospital. I remember the wake up call Chi Van gave me that morning giving me the news. How me, Jamie and Vangie rushed home to see you for the last time. You were soo strong. I know u held on for us. I know u held on to see mom n anh nhat for the last time before u gave up and can go in peace. I remember telling myself "I know once mom and anh nhat gets here from San Diego.. He's gonna leave us". I remember tryin to force myself to think dis is not really happening. But at the same time I had to face reality. I remember the very minute u left. The minute they announce it, I was standing outside of your hospital room door. I cried and fell to my knees. I never felt soo weak that i couldn't hold myself up until that very moment. Everyone in the family said i took it the hardest. At your funeral, i couldnt even face you.. i couldnt get up to go see you. I would break down. I remember soo much and thats all thats left for me now. Is my memory's of u. I know your out there watchng over the family. I know ur not able to rest because our family is goin crazy. I sometime can sense u watching me, and out of the blue, i would smile. Do u see me? I know u do. It's my way of letting u know i feel u here with me. And i thank you for looking out for me from above. You alwaze worried for me and I know you still do. But i'm here to tell u don't! I'm now grown and in life, I have to learn everything on my own right? Thank you for loving me soo much. Thank you for being everything to me. I love you and we will meet again!!
Forever Your Baby Sister,
Thu T. |
