On cloudy/windy days you go to the drop zone anyway and bitch about the weather.

The smell of bug spray makes you think of skydiving.

Whenever a passenger in a fast-moving car, you stick your head out the window and yell "FIVE LEFT" to the driver.

Whenever leaving an establishment you yell "DOOR" to all the patrons before opening the door.

You don't own any clothing that you didn't get at a boogie.

Every single one of your whuffo friends is to the point of wanting to kill you every time you mention skydiving.

You think of Jack Jeffries, Tamara Koyn and Norm Kent as "famous".

You analyze every flag you see in terms of it's too windy/not too windy to jump.

You analyze every flag you see in terms of which direction you'd face to land.

You can't think of a good reason to pick up your mail for three weeks after your issues of "Skydiving" and "Parachutist" arrive.

You feel naked without at least one jump ticket in your wallet.

You sign your checks with your name and USPA number.

You know to the tenth of a mile how far it is from your driveway to the drop zone's driveway.

Every time someone's beeper goes off you look at your watch to see if it's break-off altitude.

You don't remember your anniversary or your mother's birthday, but you know down to the second how much accumulated freefall time you have.

You refer to your recent break-up as an "intentional cut-away".

You walk everywhere watching the sky.

You show up at the dz even on the worst-weather days because at least you can sit around drinking beer. 

You have your paycheck direct-deposited into the dz account.

You plan your vacations around skydiving boogies.

On a full moon night, you look up and think "Night jumps!"

You know the dz phone number while you don't even know your own.

You've kissed more people in freefall than you have on the ground.

You drive a beaten-up car because you really need that new canopy more.

You have no idea what is happening on the weekends in your town.

You have more pairs of Tevas than you do sneakers.

You catch yourself flaking the bed instead of making it

The term "PC" makes you think of pilot chutes, not personal computers

You name your dog "Toggles"

You wonder what whuffos _DO_ with themselves on gorgeous summer weekends

You look at your VCR and think, "Hmm, that's gotta be worth a few jumps."

You refer to Weddings, Funerals, Birthdays, etc. as 'Relative Work'

You wish for wind, rain, snow, earthquakes, locusts, tornados, etc. on days you have to work or have other 'Relative Work' to do.

You can't imagine how anyone can go on vacation without a parachute.

Your rig costs more than your trailer.

You love the smell of 'Jet A' in the morning!

Losing your job is a reason for celebration!

Your 'work' clothes have grippers.

You wear a Skydiving T-shirt and bring a six pack to a job interview.

You try to convince the State Trooper that your "D" license allows you to do ANYTHING!

Your log book is thicker than any book you've ever read.

You stop by the New River Bridge and take a look.
All the others are saying 'damn, look how high it is' and you're saying 'damn, look how low it is'.

When you buy anything you calculate how many skydives it will cost.

When you wear your rig on commercial passenger flights, just in case.

When seeing seats in a twin otter gives you the willies.

When you go to divorce court and give your ex everything as long as you can keep all your skydiving gear.

When buying a house seems like a terrible waste of jump money.

When you own three rigs, three altimeters, three dytters....

When you log a jump on December 25 and the fact it is Christmas doesn't enter your mind.

Your six year old son can teach the first jump course.

You put your arms down and back in a full track when running down stairs.

You estimate your chances of pulling off a hard front riser turn when looking out any window above four stories.

You find yourself mentally telling the pilot when to flare while landing on a commercial flight.

Your christmas tree has more skydivers on it that an Otter can carry.

You are thinking about taking all the but the driver's seats out of your car.

Everytime you get pulled over for speeding you tell the cop you just made your first skydive in the hopes that he will let you go.

Your favorite movie in the world is just over sixty seconds long.

Your whuffo friends only call if the weather man says the weekend will be shitty.

Your friends look at the sky and say, "look at all those clouds", and you say, "look at all those holes!".

You wake up in the morning feeling like death warmed over, after having a few too many beers the night before,
and  your solution to this consists of riding in an extremely loud vehicle for about twenty minutes,
throwing yourself out the door and NOT! killing yourself.

You can't think of a better way to relax other than falling 10,000 feet.

You fill out your packing data card in braille and try to convince the drop zone owner it's legal.

You consider sleeping in a slanted plane as comfortable.

You see an incredibly beautiful woman/man and you think, "hmm, I wonder if I can talk her/him into......skydiving!".

Your friend says "let's go to the beach", and you grab your rig.

You try to convince the flight attendant on a commercial flight that you really! would be much more comfortable sitting on the floor.

Your friends think it's funny to, when you are sleeping, blow a fan in your face and set a beeper off near your ear.

When someone asks you where you're from, you reply with the name of your dz, not your hometown

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