| got comments? questions? problems? complaints? Air it out here! |
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| Untitled Daily Column Project |
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| -{ Sunday, July 4th, 2004 }- "You got any gum?" Soreness Update: After all the heavy lifting, pushing, stairs-running and sweating I did, the only soreness I have seems to be in both biceps and forearms. Surprisingly my legs or back are not sore or stiff at all. God I suck. I can't believe how bad i'm sucking at ESPN's Baseball Challenge. Last week i still had a lead around 200 points over the groups other franchises, but the last week has been pure hell. I can not pick a fucking pitching staff to save my life. And of course, what happens? Last week I had the Dodgers for their entire 6 game losing streak. Stupid, stupid stupid! You god damn Mets!! How in the HELL did you sweep the Yankees?? Any other time of the year I would have been ecstatic to see the Yankees lose, but not when I had the Yankees pitching staff this weekend! How the pitching aspect of this ESPN game goes: IP = +3, ER = -3, Hit = -1, BB = -1, K = +1, Win = +5 So what happened this weekend? The Yankees lost 11-2, 10-9 and 6-5. A much better idea would have been for them to sweep the Mets and got swept by the Red Sox earlier in the week instead of the opposite. Of course, after the Yankees beat the Red Sox, I went to a message board to see what big asshole dicks all the Yankees fans were being. Yeah, maybe the games would mean more if it wasn't June and they didn't play each 19 times a year. And after reading all the stupid infant-like comments, what makes me hate sports teams is the way their fans are and then what certain teams have done to my team in the past. You know, I'm all for pissing on your opponent after you beat them and all, but arguing with strangers on the internet on a message board is completely pointless. And yes, I have completely resisted all the bullshit Cubs fans have been spewing the past week. I'm sorry, but I have more important things to do than argue with your petty ass. Yeah, you boosted your total-post count, way to go for you, shithead. Gee, guess what happened. After yesterday's game got called during the 6th inning due to rain, today it's been nothing but sunny and 80 degrees, which of course today's game is scheduled for tonight at 7, which they could have easily continued yesterday's game today. Stupid bastards! While the Cubs go for a sweep against the White Sox today, yesterday's O'D's dad said it best: "The White Sox are playing the Cubs...those games don't count." |
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| -{ Saturday, July 3rd, 2004 }- only idiots wear cowboy hats Today was the day of the O'D & Luth move. I came over around 11 to start helping. It was a pretty humid day today, so we were all sweating like hell. Thankfully around 3 it started raining so we got a well-deserved break. There's a few things I learned about moving. Number one, if the place doesn't have elevators, live on the 1st floor!! I don't know how in the hell I didn't slip going down the stairs, but at the time, I thought it was horrible taking things down the stairs by hand until it was worse to carry them upstairs and on much tighter angles and lower ceilings. Personally, I'd prefer either just throwing the shit down the stairs, or doing a pulley-system a la the Amish. But most importantly, I learned that I will never, ever want to own a TV that has a screen larger than 25 inches. I don't know how big the screen was on this one TV, it had to be like at least 40 inches and weighed at least 500 pounds. Also, I learned (tho already knew) if you're going to take large furniture with you, take as much of it apart as possible. But the food-reward! Oh yes, my services were paid graciously with food. For lunch, I was treated to two Arby's beef n' cheddar sandwiches, along with curly fries and a cup of cheese. While I was chugging water and munching down grapes and watermelon that Mrs. O'D brought, we continued to unpack. Some 5 hours later, we finally got all of the shit off the truck (for the 2nd time). We all went back home to shower and met again where I was treated to a expensive dinner at Outback Steakhouse. It was unbelievable! We started off with an appetizer, the Aussie Cheese fries, which is a big plate of fries with melted cheeses, bacon bits and ranch for dipping. While I nibbled at that, my baked potato soup arrived. I personally love soup, no matter how hot the weather is. And let me tell you, this soup was fucking awesome! It's a thick, creamy soup with chunks of potatoes, and is topped with melted cheese, (sour cream too, maybe?) chives and bacon bits! It was extremely tasty. Then came the steaks. We all got the 10 oz. "center cut" Filet (I can't remember the official name of it), but this is a $25 steak! And was it ever good! I of course ordered mine medium rare. I ate almost every single bit of it, along with the very tasty seasoned fries that came with it (I guess I like potatoes). Along with that, two Cokes to wash it all down. Suffice to say, it was the best filet I've had in at least 10 years. Thanks Luth & O'D! All and all, it was a pretty fun day. I got to help some good friends out, I got some great food and a good workout. I must have stepped on at least 300 steps today. Hopefully we all escaped any lasting injury from today's heavy moving. I wonder how sore I'll be tomorrow, since I am pretty out of shape. Man I miss gym class. You ever wonder if we never had gym class while growing up how completely out of shape we'd all be? Oh yeah, today's scoreboard. Apparently it was raining all day at Wrigley, and after some 3 hours of rain delays, the game was called during the 6th inning. You know, it's not like they don't play each other tomorrow, and the next game is scheduled at 7pm. Who the hell schedules a baseball game at night on the 4th of July??? Idiots, that's who. And of course, the fans there will be drunker than usual, and there will be fewer cops around because of the Taste of Chicago going on at the same time. And no matter who wins tonight, anything short of a riot that rips up the baseball diamond and tears Wrigley Field into a pile of rubble will be greatly disappointing. |
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| -{ Friday, July 2nd, 2004 }- "don't tell the Mrs i was bloody 'ell drunk down at me pub all night!" |
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| Except for the score of today's game, today was alright. Sometimes I get really sick of baseball. Football season cannot get here fast enough. The following is a poem / song / ditty that I wrote in 30 minutes while watching TV. It is completely unstructured, but I |
| imagine this to be a very poppy song with a fast beat, guitar driven and a voice that goes up and down. Tho it really doesn't make much sense, it doesn't have to, because that's what the song says. Enjoy. FEAR OF WOMEN By Dolf Rudager They're aliens they're creatures they're two-faced beasts suddenly you have no friends oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! she was crass and she broke your glass that wasn't the only thing she broke it doesn't have to make sense. turtle man, turtle man, hiding in your shell where noone can see or critique you. and you better fear women shades of blue into red and you'll snap, snap, snap! her sharp techno claws will tear your soul into pieces it might be time to run. and when you're still celebrating St. Patricks Day well into June... you know you fear women you're picking fights with strangers and pissing on cars, you know you fear women turtle man, turtle man unhealthy fear of women, fear of women healthy smelly woman is a slut woman is a slut woman is a slut woman is a slut. circumcision precision. green black chain shackles shed bull session slave rolling pin barn burner! oh! oh! oh! oh! you're dead, man. END |
| -{ Thursday, July 1st, 2004 }- The legend of the dog-faced woman. Yes! Guess who has reclaimed the title as the best baseball team in Chicago? The White Sox! After today's games, the Sox are in 1st place in the AL Central, with a 42-33 record, .560 Pct, two games ahead of the Twins, and the Cubs are in 2nd place in the NL Central, with a 43-35 record, .551 Pct, 3 games out. I have apparently come up with a great homerun trot. While I haven't actually played baseball or softball in a while, it would go like this: After I hit a homerun that clears the fence & it being official, I would then go to a slow jog while circling the bases. Then, I'd start pointing to the fans all around the stadium in 45 degree sections, then I'd take my right hand, and make a "zero" with my index finger and thumb. Then I would tilt my hand downwards so the hole would be parallel to the ground. Then, with my left index finger, I would point it up and down over & over through the zero still being made with my right hand. Baseball announcer #1: "Oh MY! What IS he doing?? He seems to be making some obscene gesture towards the home fans! Baseball announcer #2: "He's gonna get a huge fine from MLB for doing this." Baseball announcer #1: "Now he's about to cross home plate, and he seems to be making a "devil's sign" with his right hand, and he's now pounding his chest with that sign and he's pointing towards the ground!" Baseball announcer #2: "I've never seen anything like this." While I was watching some late TV news, I saw this piece on an officially licensed MLB video game where players when they got on base could start fights with the fielders! I saw guys being punched, bodyslammed, set on fire. Oh it looked so cool! And I'm assuming when a pitch beans a batter, especially near the face, there is a punching / kicking brawl. The only baseball game where I've seen fighting after a bean ball, was Bases Loaded from Nintendo. To do this, you would have to bean the power hitter twice, and then on the scoreboard it would show the batter running up to the mound and the pitcher kicking him. Ah, good times. |
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| -{ Saturday July 10th 2004 }- 'heh, the boy sure is dumb!' Ah the pennant race.....pointless baseball games in July. Ah, what do you do when you have nothing to write about? You make a Top 10 all-time favorite music list! 10. Stairway To Heaven - Led Zeppelin (1971) 9. Good Vibrations - Beach Boys (1966) 8. Street Fighting Man - The Rolling Stones (1968) 7. L.A. Woman - The Doors (1971) 6. I Got a Feeling - The Beatles (1969) 5. Break on Through - The Doors (1966) 4. Like A Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan (1966) 3. Black Dog - Led Zeppelin (1971) 2. School's Out - Alice Cooper (1972) 1. House of the Risin' Sun - TheAnimals (1964) |
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| -{ Friday July 9th 2004 }- I'm stuck on you; stuck on glue "Rough Housin' " By Dolf Rudager woman you make me squeal like a pig you're all that i dig whippin' my ass into shape makin' me eat dirt like an animal tell me not to be coy abuse the shit out of me like a toy break it shake it bake it rake it take it it's all yours, woman. you howl like a monkey in a whore house it's really scary at times you never stopped even when the cops were at the door! you make it so rough, woman you make it so tough you are so rough, woman. the Floop la Goo' in the playground was teetering towards obscene Teasing the weasel was da' shit You're gonna beat me down so hard burning flesh, piercing flesh, tearing flesh, your composure snaps like a whip! Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! ((guitar / organ solo)) you push the limits and boundries don't know if you're ever going to stop i'll never know where to draw the line i don't think i can take anymore don't stop END |
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| -{ Thursday July 8th 2004 }- "ride the clutch.... band on the run.." "Who's Been Sleeping Here" By Dolf Rudager who's been sleeping here... who's been sleeping in my bed with me?? who is it, who is it, who the hell is it??! woman you've got a big mouth and an ass to match you're a two faced monster fury of fire to hatch moody all the time, screaming all night long you howl like a monkey in a whore house why are you so mean? ((guitar solo)) who's been sleeping with me who's been sleeping in my bed? put down the knife and listen to me please, please PLEASE which one of you will exhibit? puking never solved anything. you need to shut your mouth, and get it together, you filthy cunt. stop being a bitch. you are so rude you are so rude you are so rude you are so rude, stop it. END |
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| -{ Monday, July 5th 2004 }- Snowballin' Schoolgirl Susie White Sox have the day off and play the Angels for a 3-game series starting on Tuesday and the Cubs go to Milwaukee to play the much-improved Brewers at Miller Park, the park which the Selig Family conned all the taxpayers and deceived everyone saying that this park would going to put the Brewers in contention. Well....it's been 3 years and it still hasn't happened. Recently I've rediscovered the magic of spices. For a long time, I've been eating food as it came: no pepper or salt added....no extra cheese....no ketchup or mustard on it. For lunch one day, I made an awesome turkey sandwich. I toasted this long deli-style hot dog bun in the toaster, then dressed it up with lettuce, miracle whip (no, not mayo), some yellow mustard, then sprinkled on some oregano, basil, celery seed and a small pinch of garlic powder. Then I took about 6 slices of deli turkey, rolled them up and served. Also, I prefer to chill my drinking glasses in the freezer for at least 15 minutes. It always makes the milk or soda really cold really quickly. And I like my liquid drinks to be as cold as it possibly be without turned to ice. This was an extremely tasty sandwich, instead of the boring ol' bread and turkey shit I always usually make; and with the varying spices in uneven distribution, it was a different flavor every bite. |
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| -{ Wednesday July 7th 2004 }- nuns need lovin' too Wow...did the Sox ever get shitted on tonight! I finally learn how to spell Schoeneweis's name and he gives up a shitload of runs. Oh well. I heard some rather sickening news. The dinosaur band Metallica, is putting out a movie and a new album. oh god... Why in the hell is Metallica still around? I used to be a fan, and it was of course 'cause of the first 4 albums, and it was the Black Album that killed any interest in them & metal that I had gained over the years. "Enter Sandman" is one of the all-time most annoying songs to me. When I die, never being able to hear Metallica music again will be my first blessing. Metallica. Stealing music isn't wrong if you grossly over-charge for albums for decades you anti Napster shitfaced cockmasters. Your long hair metal banging shit is over with and buried in the 80s, where it belongs. The 90s you sold out and your idiot fans kept listening. Just hang it up already. You're [members] pushing 50 years old for christ's sake. You shouldn't be allowed to keep living in stereos across America. Kids don't shove metal up their asses with their grandparents. Metal up your ass, you fans and your grandchildren. |
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| -{ Tuesday July 6th 2004 }- Fourth Reich Motors You all see that Brewer's logo? It is considered in many polls one of the all-time best logos in baseball. It was picked from a "Design the next Brewer's logo" contest of over 200 entries back in 1977. Those who can't see it.. it's a M and B shaped like a baseball glove... for "Milwauke Brewers". Many Brewers fans foundly remember when the team sported this logo on their caps from 1978 to 1993. During those years, the Brewers were put together some halfway decent seasons and met their now-division rival St. Louis Cardinals in the 1982 World Series, where they lost in 7 games. I dunno if it's still true or not, but the '82 World Series had the highest ever TV ratings for a World Series. Coincidentally, once the Brewers changed their MB Glove logo & traditional Brewers colors of blue and yellow before the 1994 season they became a terrible team and suffered many, many horrible losing seasons. They went to a light navy blue, metallic gold and green color scheme, along with a very cluttered script that had way too many outlines on it. And to top it off, an extremely ugly cap with stretched out letters which people dubbed "Motre Bame" caps... rightfully so.... essentially stealing the Notre Dame "ND" logo. Again, Bud Selig's fault. |
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| -{ Tuesday, July 13th, 2004 }- AL: 9, NL: 4 Ah, another pointless all-star game has come and gone. And while I'm not bitter that only one White Sock was appointed to the team (and not even the one having the best season) from a 1st place team while a sub-500 3rd place Cleveland Indians team had 5 players go. But that's all fine�seriously. Because it means the Sox players get to rest (unfortunately Loaiza ended up pitching, pushing back his start in the rotation a few days, but he did make Sosa ground out, which was all good) and the all-star is a pointless joke. It was such a joke, that it turns out Clemens, who gave up 6 runs (thanks to teammate Jeff Kent's error and Sosa's two extremely poorly misplayed shots in right field) was actually out all night of before drinking and partying it up with other players in some bar; and probably was hungover / had the shits. But it makes no difference to me because he probably didn't care. The horrible idea of the All-star game deciding which league gets home field advantage for the World Series may have finally ended with last night's game. The deal was that this was a two-year experiment and the player's association has the right to end this stupid idea. I haven't met or read too many people saying this was a good idea in the first place, but it needs to go. The All-Star Game is a complete joke these days anyway. There is no such thing as "league pride" anymore since the introduction of Interleague Play during the season and the merging of AL and NL umpires into one. Plus the roster for each team has been expanded to 32 players each, and the stupid rule that there must be a player from every team makes deserving players not get selected because "the Devil Rays need a representative and their best player happens to be a center fielder so screw you, Better-CF-with-better-stats-on-a-much-better-team". Also, with so many All-Stars getting injured during the season, each team ends up having like 40 all-stars. Also, the farce around the all-star game is sickening. It took this game like 49 minutes to get started, maybe longer, I couldn't sit still for a whole hour waiting for something to happen. I don't know if I'm happy with the results because I really don't care. I also find it extremely bizarre to see players on bitter rival teams suddenly being high-5-ing teammates. I'm sure it must be a pretty tense clubhouse. Not to mention, "hey you stupid rival, thanks to your play our team will have home-field advantage in the world series." "no way, chump. Our fucking team is going to the Series." Tho if I were a pitcher, I'd hate to pitch in the all-star game, because like every batter is a power-hitting # 3 or clean-up guy. |
| -{ Monday, July 12th, 2004 }- No Games Scheduled. I don't understand why in the hell everyone in this god damn country is going to see the Spider Man 2 movie. Are we suddenly all a bunch of 12 year old boys who read comic books?? It's people like YOU that caused Anchorman to debut at # 2!! It's like sending a message to Hollywood that we prefer stupid, glossy, rehashed overly special-effects nerdy action movies over scripted comedies with actual acting in them. Yeah, Anchorman may be pretty stupid, but it never hid the fact that was the intent. I'm not really a big fan of movies....it's just I like a certain genre more than others....and I have to be in the right mood to watch one. Also what soured me on going to the threatre is the fact that it costs like 9 bucks now to sit in a crowded theatre with a bunch of loud idiots laughing and clapping along with cell phones ringing, and the fact that almost every time I've gone, I've had to take a major piss right about the halfway point in the movie. Another thing that bothers me, is that the TV commercials and preview shows give away way too many good scenes. Ideally, they should show some scenes, like really fast, and with a voice over. Tho that's what they do for shit like Spider Man and Catwoman, 'cause there is no plot. It's a shame that they market so many movies to stupid teenagers who will go see something that looks "pretty"....hence why there's fewer and fewer R-rated movies these days, because Hollywood finally realized that their largest market is snot-nosed brat teenagers with too much money. Also it's kinda creepy that movies with special effects are all shot in a small room while the actors are just staring into space and are talking to nobody but the wall. Tonight is the 25th anniversary of Disco Demolition at Comiskey Park in 1979. Also, I came up with a quote while watching a Home Improvement rerun..... "duh i'm like, yeah, i'm Brad...i dye my hair blonde and i play soccer like a fancy-boy." |
| -{ Sunday, July 11th, 2004 }- shove the scissors up your ass! There's a few rules I have in my life. "Extra cheese is good." "Never poop in anger." "while driving, yield then go." "Be a cheap bastard." And probably most importantly, "once you start having nightmares with celebrities from TV shows you watch, it's time to stop watching those shows." I don't know if our night-time sleeping dreams mean or signify anything; or if they're trying to tell us something..... Maybe it's a sign of insanity, boredom or both.. but most of the time, I always wake up exhausted and like, jet lagged because I'm always traveling in my dreams and well, it's really fucking annoying. The problem is, my dreams are so vivid it seems so real.. and sometimes I forget who I am..and sometimes during the dream I forget it's just only a dream. Today I read an extremely long and rehashed article on Japanese baseball. It's the Japanese way..... do something extremely full-assed until it's not fun anymore, don't do anything risky and practice till the point of insanity. The article said nothing new that I have read likewise for the past 14 years. The Japanese work out all the time, they still hate foreigners and refuse to embrace them; at least by management, and the Toyko Giants are still the Yankees of Japan. Oh and btw, the White Sox won again, meaning there are in 1st place! And heading to the all-star game, the Cubs are 7 games out of 1st place. The Sox are still very much in the playoff hunt, despite losing our best hitter for most of the 1st half. Tho my pick to win the AL Central is still Minnesota, and I'm sticking to it. Tho the other night, I did have an amusing part of a dream. I dreamt I was walking into this threatre that had a stairway with multiple levels of movie seats and screens. I couldn't see any of the movies, because my back was turned and I was walking up the stairs. And of course, I was walking with someone up the stairs, and I started talking to this person, and the people watching the movie kept shhhh-ing me, so naturally, I started talking louder and louder and annoyed the shit out of them. Eventually I screamed, "shove the scissors up your ass!" and started laughing. I kept laughing until the guards came and banned me for life at the threatre.Oh well. |
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| -{ Thursday, July 15th 2004 }- it's time to punch some neck. Look, I don't care if it's 2:41am, I'm tired and the music sucks, I'm gonna get this bastard column written! Tomorrow I'm going to have a wonderful 4-hour project of installing Windows again. Also I spent tonight playing Hold 'Em Poker, a very trendy and popular game on yahoo. How did I get my fortune? I became a slave to Big Oil. It's a lot easier to play this game when you're using make-believe money, and can get loads of it for free. My premature folding worked to my advantage about 85% of the time, which I think it pretty good since I've learned how to play the game in the past 24 hours. One hand I won some $100, and celebrated in a Mick Jagger-akin strut. What headlines did I read today (which seems like days ago) Ratings down for All-Star game July 14, 2004 NEW YORK (AP) -- Television ratings for the All-Star game, hurt by the American League's six-run first inning, were the lowest in history. Haw ha! Now Selig can't use the excuse of W.S. home field advantage helping the ratings. Serves Commish Liver-Spots right. You're a stupid bastard, Selig! You hear me?? You're a stupid, fucking bastard! Haw ha! ...so tired... Well the White Sox may have lost today but no ground was lost and the Cubs won but no ground was gained. Prior left tonight's game in the 2nd inning from a sore elbow. Gee.... another trip to the DL? They say fans shouldn't take happiness when a player on any team gets injured, because we're of course supposed to baby the hell out of the injured, wounded and crippled. It may have something to do about being nice, or respectful or sane. This of course reminds me of a future column I'll be writing later in the year. I suppose this could be true if you're around real friends and people of fans of opposing teams, but if it's only some stupid message board, I think it's alright to be as big of an asshole as you want. And I'm still howling like a monkey in a whoore house. |
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| -{ Wednesday July 14th, 2004 }- "god damn lazy Monty is too busy down at his atom mill !!" How can Mr. Burns be lazy and busy at the same time?? Oh well. Today, is the rare of rare. It is the only day out of the entire year (or so they claim) that there is no Big-Four sports being played. Tho the big news of the day was that Shaq became a member of the Miami Heat. Tonight I took an internet President Match quiz, which of course some geniuses have pinpointed the exact science of telling me what candidate I should vote for. Smelling conspiracy, I ranked a 62% for my party, which to me was a bit more moderate than I thought I was. Being a voter since '96, this time I don't know who I'm voting for, since I am a picky person. Should I not vote, vote Libertarian for fun or do something incredibly egoistic and vote for myself? In the future: "Yeah I'll tell you what asshole I voted for in 2004....it was me! "I" was the only candidate who could live up to my incredible skyward standards! It was "I" who had the blueprint for success, no matter how crazy or incoherent it appeared to the other American voters." You know, there's nothing like being a song-writing lyrist. It's like, so hard to come up with something so meaningful....and when it finally happens....it makes all worthwhile. Of course, it was an improvisational lyric session that inspired this wonderful treasure: me: HOWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLL!!! SmarterChild: Whatever. me: i'm a monkey in a whore house SmarterChild: A monkey in a whore house? me: yes SmarterChild: OK... me: HOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLL!! |
| -{ Friday, July 16th 2004 }- Slip 'n Slide Revival Say hello to the Milwaukee Brewers mascot & logo from 1970-1977..."Barrel Man". This logo was originally supposed to be navy blue and red (the result of course was royal blue and golden yellow). The Brewers team came from Seattle, whom the team, "Pilots" only lasted one season, which was 1969. The Brewers planned on wearing the old Milwaukee Braves (1953-1965) colors of navy blue and red, but since the Pilots were bought during Spring Training of 1970 in March, they had no time to order new uniforms for Opening Day, so the Brewers ripped all the Seattle Pilots logos off the jerseys (excluding the non-removeable blue and yellow trim) and sewed on the newly changed Brewers logos of blue and yellow. The Cubs continue their 4-game home series against the disrespected new Brewers as well as the White Sox continue their 4-game series of Death in Oakland. |
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| -{ Saturday, July 17th 2004 }- Slip 'n Slide Revival Well the Cubs finally won today. I guess the sun shines on the donkey's ass sometimes. Today the White Sox played the A's, who were celebrating their 1974 Championship team by sporting 1974 yellow jerseys with a kelly green A's logo & numbers outlined in white, along with a kelly green cap with a yellow brim & button with no stupid MLB logo on the back of the caps, and well as green stir-ups with two thick yellow stripes outlined in white. Suffice to say, it was a damn sharp looking cap. It looks so much better than the darker forest green the A's use today. Also the logo you see is from 1974 "The Swingin' A's" with their trademark white shoes, which today is still the only team to wear such shoes. Alright, I have nothing to say so I'm going to trot out my favorite sodas. I don't know where the hell you're from, but around here, we call it "soda". Not "pop"... not "sodie pop".. or "cola" or whatever else ass-backwards cultural slang some region makes up. Of course, to avoid getting looked up in random online searches and not to be a corporate tool promoting this, I'm coding the names. 6. Sunkist Orange. I once did an experiment. I was probably 14 & eating a fresh orange when suddenly, I was thirtsy and craving more sugar. So I opened a can of Sunkist Orange. Eventually I took a sip of the soda while i had some fresh orange chunks in my mouth, and discovered something very disturbing... the soda tasted like a McDeth Big Mac. The combination of chemicals from the soda and the sweet, natural ingredients of the orange combined to make a bizarre taste. And if you don't believe me, try it for yourself. And it has to be Sunkist Orange soda or it won't work. 5. Barq's Root Beer. Yes, out of all the other root beers out there, this one seems to have the most bark in it, rather than tasting like the sugary, cream soda (which tastes like sugar water shit) of most root beers. 4. Coca Cola. Yeah yeah, it's the ultimate whore in soda. Compared to Pepsi, it's a lot thicker, sweeter and has more of a smooth, sugary taste. Pepsi, on the other hand, to me, it seems like drinking Menthol cough drops... regardless if it's coming from a can or bottle. Tho I grew up drinking Pepsi, I had my first Coke when I was about 15 years old..and I was blown away. I've never gone back since. 3. generic fruit punch soda. Hawaiian Fruit Punch is included too on this list. There's just something about fruit punch that's just so damn tasty... it's probably the orgy of mixing fruits with other fruits (or chemicals with other chemicals) that's a winning combination. I've never had a bad fruit punch yet. 2. Dr. Pepper. I don't know what the hell is in Dr. Pepper, I once read it was supposed to be a soda that "tasted like the smell of 100 sweets in a candy shop in Texas like 120 years ago." Whatever the hell the flavor is supposed to be, it's sweet, dark, full of caffeine and I can drink 3 cans of it easily. 1. Mountain Dew. Ah yes, a glass of sunshine. Usually pretty flat, full of caffeine and it seems to have some orange flavor in it. A pretty light and tasty soda that goes with almost anything. As for the other sodas, usually name brand (especially with ginger ale, strawberry, grape, orange, cherry) is the way to go...some generic sodas have a horrible plastic, chemical taste that's like burning rubber. |
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| -{ Sunday, July 18th 2004 }- Seventy Eighth National Bank: We Screw People. Well, it's that time again. Archiving. Nothing like moving your more creative, stronger material to another page which all visitor(s) would have to click on the arrow pointing to the right at the top right-hand corner of the page would have to see past masterpieces all because of bandwidith issues. Well it's summer and the stupid fucking heat and humidity are finally here. You know, it really pisses me off when the "Meteorologists" on TV are always saying, "Yeah, it was 85 degrees today, but the normal is 89, so hopefully it'll get warmer so we get back to more normal temperatures." Hello! We don't want it any fucking hotter! Stupid cock-knocker! Yeah, we all enjoy stepping outside into a oven. Which brings me to this conception: do I drag out my old slip n' slide knock-off which cost me 20 weeks worth of allowance some 17 years ago and make an ass of myself? Keep in mind, there is no alternative than taking many long, cold showers. Of course, there's the notion of looking like a complete total idiot sliding head-first as an adult onto a piece of blue plastic meant for 10 year olds that would probably break the little pool open once a 200+ pound body landed on it. And of course I remember diving over and over as a kid on this thing, making my chest extremely sore whenever I took a breath for the next few days. Also I've decided I don't like bugs anymore. What the hell do we really need so many god damn bugs for? I don't like bugs crawling on my skin or flying up in my nose or sucking my blood while I sleep at night. I'm getting a bit tired of swatting and slapping these flies. I've tried a few tricks to get rid of them but nothing seems to work. Would we want to live a world without bugs?? I say yes. So some precious pollen or seed wouldn't get spread or some jackass wouldn't have honey anymore. Big whoop. I don't like the bugs. Kill all the bugs. Join me to kill all the bugs. Kill the Bugs in '04. |
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| -{ Monday, July 19th 2004 }- But I don't WANT Kiss concert tickets!!! Well tonight I got some good work done on the "Everybody Loves Raymond" script, which I'm quite proud off, because this has been an on-and-off project for the past 3 years that's mostly been off. Tho of course, when one might proofread such a script, some words may come to mind like "why is there so much profanity" or "why is everyone screaming all the time?" Well, silly! If you haven't noticed, apparently all you have to do to make $50 million a year is create a family sitcom where everybody yells at each other for 30 minutes. A lot hinges on CBS and the FCC lifting the ban on pretty much all profanity censorship and violence. At least my script will have closure....probably unlike the shitty, sappy emotional ending they'll have planned where like Ray and his family move to another town and Frank & Marie move in next door with him in Pennsylvania.... thus setting up the lame and short-lived spin-off: "Amy Loves Robert". All I can say is.....my script will have closure. And isn't that what we all really want? There's nothing worse than a series that's dying in the ratings, and they try to save their sorry ass with a pathetic cliff-hanger in an attempt to get renewed. And of course, that may have worked in the 1980s and maybe in the 90s, but not today. Sitcoms get killed midway before their 13-episode commitment is met....while in "the old days" the really bad sitcoms would last at least 2 to 4 years. I don't understand how in the hell a terrible show like "Just Shoot Me" lasted 7 seasons. I think the people at NBC just liked the thought of people saying the title of the show after watching an episode. I've never met anyone who actually liked, let alone watched this show. Oh well. At least they're not running Murphy Brown reruns anywhere....'cause I'd hate to turn my TV off for 30 minutes. Come to my blog on the net. I didn't know that my little shit-column was a "blog.". Honestly, I had no idea what a blog really was until I looked it up a few nights ago. Yeah. I'm cutting edge. Tell all the people to come here. But they never listen. They never do. And yeah, [woman on TV].... she's drunk. |
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| -{ Tuesday, July 20th 2004 }- Are you a sneaky snake? Today for lunch I had an excellent huge crispy chicken sandwich with lettuce, tomato and mayo from Brown's Chicken. The french fries were also excellent..because they were thick and wavy and crunchy...and the best of all...they tasted like chicken too. Seriously, they were the 2nd best fries I've ever had in my life..and I've eaten a shitload of fries, too. # 1 fries being from Cousin's Sub in Milwaukee, in December of 2000. I have never tasted a fry so tasty in all of my life. It was like, a exquisite taste of butter and potato cooked perfectly. # 2 fries being the White Castle fries. These fries are the same shape (and probably made by the same company) as Brown's Chicken's fries but these don't have the benefit of being deep-fried along with the chicken, but to me, still the french fry standard. # 3 fries being the Outback Steakhouse seasoned fries. I *think* these long, sliced fries had the potato skins on (always a plus) and an unknown seasoning. # 4 fries I guess is from Wendy's. Now for the worst fries I've had. This one, it seems to be everyone's favorite...why in the hell, I don't know. They are, of course, from McDeth. They're nothing but skinny strands of soggy, oily, heavily over-salted shits of goob. Once they've been sitting in the cardboard container for about 5 minutes, they become the most disgusting, sludgy indistinguishable inedible pile of natural and unnatural chemicals. Today the Cubs blew an 8-2 lead in the 6th inning and Albert Pujols hit three, count 'em THREE homeruns and of course, the Cubs lost the game and fell 10 games out of first place and of course the Cubs pitchers were pissed. Time for the Wild Card, Cubs? You'll be one of 8 teams competing for the backdoor playoff spot. This was the kind of game that reminds Cubs fans of when Ryne Sandberg in 1984 against the Cardinals when he hit 2 late-game homers off Bruce Sutter and was the turning point for the team to win the N.L. East in 1984...but only this time..it was the Cardinals with the huge win. and Zambrano..you better watch your back...because your backdoor catcher won't be able to protect you forever. Someday you'll have to bat, and you better watch out for a fastball to the face..because they will be coming for ya...and they will be aiming at your mouth. You don't taunt batters and hit the same guy twice in the same game without repercussions... and the fact that you don't care at all about baseball's rules and unwritten rules and that you have to point towards the sky and/or God every fucking time you get a strikeout is just sickening. You think God gives a fucking shit about your stupid baseball game or strikeout? No, God doesn't. You have some serious mental problems. A classless act with serious, mental problems. I hope MLB fines and suspends your stupid asshole self. And Wrigley Field..like the Cubs playoff chances and the pitching staff's sanity...is falling apart. Apparently there's been some concrete that's been falling from the upper deck on to fans lately. |
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| -{ Wednesday, July 21st 2004 }- Happy 24th Birthday, Nogg! It's time for a good old-fashioned column of randomness rhetoric! -o- There's nothing like the expression on your barber after you told them to shorten your hair more-so for the third time & then asking them to shave it all off. Priceless. -o- If I were a Country music star, I'd wear a big dumb 'ol white cowboy hat & boots, skin-tight jeans and a big belt buckle. Then I'd carry my acoustic guitar around, and sing in a loud, overbearing tone. And, of course, I'd drive a Geo. **upbeat tempo hick music begins** "I'm a Ge-o mannnnnnn.... That's all I driiiiiiiive..... I got big boundriiiiiiiiiiiies.... Ah can't go thirty-fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!" -o- Hey! that's a filthy habit! Who asked you?? Hey! watch the snappy comeback! Oh fuck you! Hey! watch the profanity! Oh eat a fart! Hey! watch the obscenities! Oh go to hell! Very well. -o- Tonight on Conan they showed this clip from Walker, Texas Ranger, 'cause NBC (or something) owns the rights to the show now and stuff. Conan pulled this huge lever by his desk, to activate the clip. In the clip, there's this kid, about 10 years old, on a ladder in a library / office room against a bookshelf, and the father from the Wonder Years is holding out his arms and says, "go ahead! jump!! i'll catch you!! jump! jump!" and stuff. So the kid hesitates, and finally decides to jump; some 10 feet. They show him jumping in slow motion, and the old man steps back, and the kid screams and hits the floor on his ass! I, like Conan, was completely shocked that the father from the Wonder Years would deceive a kid and inflict pain from this cruel trick! Haha it was so fucking funny. |
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| -{ Thursday, July 22nd 2004 }- Outbreak free since '94 Keeping up with my food theme so far, here is my (somewhat) secret & original recipe to making excellent Kraft dinner macaroni & cheese from the crappy blue box. First things first, this is what you'll need: Kraft box of Mac & Cheese (preferrably the Orignal) a large pan water a stove a big wooden spoon a strainer 2 to 3 slices of deli-fresh American Cheese a block of sharp to extra sharp Wisconsin cheddar a little bit of milk a big sharp, stabbing knife. hunger and grit. Get yourself a pretty big pan and fill up halfway with water. While you're waiting for it to boil, grab the block of cheddar and break off about an inch cube's worth. Then take the slices of American cheese and fold them over and over until you get some square-inch pieces. Finally, pile the american cheese and cheddar, and start finely dicing them with your big sharp stabbing knife. When the water comes to a boil, dump in your noodles and cook on medium heat for 5 to 6 minutes (firm noodles are better) and stir once or twice every minute. When done, dump the noodles into a strainer, but only once and for a few seconds, you want to retain some of that water. Dump the noodles back into the pan, and quickly add the diced cheddar and american cheese. Next, and this is important...dump in the cheese powder but only about 75% to 80% of the package, because too much powder will make the mac & cheese too salty and dry. Grab your milk and pour in roughly 2 to 4 tablespoons into the pan, and now with your big wooden spoon...begin mixing. After about a minute of stirring, all of the cheese should be melted (tho chunks of cheese ain't bad either) you should have a pretty soupy mac & cheese filling up the bottom of the pan. Either eat straight from the pan with your wooden spoon, or scoop it out of the pan into a cereal bowl, either way, it is very cheesy and moist that won't dry out after a minute or two like the blue box instructions will. You should have a very tasty meal. Personally, I like to drink fruit punch soda and have a slice of rye bread with butter slightly glazed on it with this meal. I've been making Kraft Dinner for 16 years and after hundreds of experiments, a few years ago I finally stumbled upon the perfect recipe. |
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| -{ Friday, July 23rd 2004 }- "Take a salt tablet!" Well the Tigers were the only remaining team that's not been represented on here...one Chicago team or the other has played everyone else. On that note, here's another column of randomness. -o- The term "dancing on your grave" gets thrown around a lot these days... -o- Somewhere in Europe...1968... Paul: "alright now, is that tape rolling? It is? Ok... here we go!" John: "k..." **music starts with fast piano intro. Paul begins clapping** Paul: **begins singing** "Oh blah dee, oh blah dah..." John: **rolls eyes** "Oh for christ's sake..." Paul: **continues singing** "...BRAAAA!!!! La la life goes on!" John: "not another fruity song for grannies." Paul: "c'mon, John..." John: "pffffffff." Paul: **sings** "....waiting at the door and as he gives it to her she begins to sing. sing!" John: "no." Paul: "oh damn it!! **music stops** Take 2!" John: **grunts** Paul: "from the top!" **John reluctantly sings his part for the 2nd thru 156th times. Music starts & concludes** Paul: "Oh blah dee, oh blah dah... braaaaaa! la la la la la..if want to have some fun, oh blah dee do dah! ho ho ho!" John: "you're going to get sued." Paul: "no i'm not... Wait...oh shit." And Paul did get sued.... by a Jamaican guy who coined the phrase "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" and Paul didn't give him credit. The song was recently on a "50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs ... Ever" list. Serves you right, Paul. END |
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| -{ Saturday, July 24th 2004 }- "and if you go on Blind Date, you're going to get blind sighted." Yeah, if you have no money or have a brick of this shit lying around, or just feel like eating shit, here's something I discovered while farting around in the kitchen. Look out, Emeril. Ramen Chicken Noodles Egg Drop Soup. What you'll need: a brick of Ramen Noodles soup. I've only tried this with Chicken and Chicken Jalape�o. a bowl. a pan. water. an egg. a fork and a spoon some milk I start off by measuring two cups of water and dumping into a pan. Personally, I like to crush my noodles into smaller pieces before cooking them. While I'm waiting for the water to boil, i crack open an egg and dump it into a bowl, pour in about a tablespoon of milk, and whisk it with a fork until it's all mixed. Next, (despite otherwise to the instructions) I add the soup powder to the boiling water, and begin dropping in spoonful's of egg batter. Then when finished, I add the noodles and cook for 2 to 3 minutes and stir. I usually have a small side of cottage cheese on a plate to eat along with this soup and a cold glass of milk, which the glass was being chilled in the freezer for at least 15 minutes prior. And surprisingly, thanks to the eggs; which seem to soak up some of the grease / alters the overall flavor; the soup has more of a chicken-like taste instead of just salty hot water. Bon Appetit�. |
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| -{ Saturday, July 31st, 2004 }- Why does everyone shit on me? This has probably been the most depressingly and hugest let-down Baseball Trading Deadline that I can possibly remember. Not only for whatever stupid fucking reason Kenny Williams traded our #2 starter Loaiza to the fucking Yankees for a bastard Cuban defector pitcher who has like, no control whatsoever, and worst off, the Red Sox lost Nomar (No-Mah!!) to the fucking Cubs out of all teams. And the Red Sox got completely screwed over. The only reason why the Cubs took them is because the Red Sox threw in a ton of money and begged the Cubs to take it, and the Red Sox apparently needed the Cubs in the 4-team trade. The Red Sox got absolutely nothing in return, and the Cubs got to lose their crappiest starter in the process. And the worst thing is, Boston and Red Sox fans lost a huge fan favorite. They were probably going to lose him anyway this off season, but why not just take the compensation draft pick instead of trading him to a stupid team who's out of the playoff chase and get absolutely nothing in return?? I'll miss seeing Nomar play against the Yankees on National TV, and those "Boston Teens No-Mah!" sketches on SNL with Jimmy Fallon and Rachael Dratch were funny as hell, but they those were done anyway 'cause Fallon left the show. I just can't believe it. With each passing hour I get madder and angrier about it. Cubs fans better not be pulling that "No-Mah" shit... this isn't Boston but you know they will. Suffice to say, Nomar has been brutally injured this past season and how well he does in Chicago is really a wonder. And where is he going to bat in that lineup? 7th?? Nomar batting 7th?? That's sickening. I just hope that he decides to play somewhere else next year because the Cubs having Nomar is just sickening. If Nomar signs with the Cubs, I'll become totally disgusted with baseball and probably just give up being a baseball fan. I'm sick and tired of the richest teams always getting the best players. The Cubs are going to kiss Nomar's ass so fucking hard and try to convince him to stay with the team for like 4 or 5 years. I won't even watch the news or read the sports section anymore because I'll be so disgusted. All I know is the Cubs won't make the playoffs this season. Tonight's Sox game. Should I mention that the White Sox have lost 7 straight and are now 5 games out of 1st place?? Last Saturday they were 1/2 game in 1st and now this. The season is not lost thanks to the weak schedule but come on, man. Every game has been a close one. And you'll see all the scores here once I finish this column and will eventually be filling in the missing columns. Tonight they fucked up two ways: sending slow-ass Konerko home with two outs on a fly ball in shallow right field. Out at home. Secondly, in the 10th inning, tied 2-2, the Tigers got runners on at 2nd and 3rd with Ivan Rodriquez up; who's been injured lately / didn't have a hit all game was up, and the White Sox walk him to load the bases and set up the doubleplay, to face Dmitri Young, (a dreadlocked dude with a Military family background & a great work ethic) their clean-up hitter. Not really a smart strategy, because double plays can be broken up very easily, and a lot can go wrong. Young hit a smash but Konerko snagged it some 9 feet in the air. Then what happens? The Sox pitcher WALKS IN the winning run on 5 pitches. You know, when you have 1st base open late in the game and the game is tied, LEAVE 1st base open!! The Sox have at least lost 3 games this year due to walking the bases loaded. It's just stupid managing. You just can't ever assume the double play. That's how the scorekeepers rule it in baseball, and that's how it is. Also there's been a lack of updates on here because I have had nothing to talk about. It's been an extremely slow week. What a horrible horseshit week it's been. Good riddance July. |
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| -{ Friday, July 30th, 2004 }- "Hey nowwwwwwwwwww! It's Hank Kingsley!" The big baseball buzz is whether or not Randy Johnson will be traded tomorrow. Apparently all the rumors have been, well, completely made-up and not true, because Johnson was annoyed as hell at the media for speculating so much shit. I've been busy working on the football graphics for the upcoming football season here at the column. I still don't know what I'm going to do, scoreboard color-wise, or what. Gamedays I'll have a full size scoreboard, but I'd like to have a smaller, preview scoreboard near the top of this page Monday-Saturday, but I don't know. I've also got some retro logos of opponents to put into the rotation, but I don't know when I would use those, either for the preview or gameday. Speaking of football logos, there's always some stupid football fan who thinks the Cleveland Browns should put a logo on their helmet. For decades and decades, since at least the 1950s, the Browns have had a plain orange helmet. Which at one point, all teams pretty much had blank helmets, but the Browns refused to add one (for whatever reason), and it just KILLS people. The Pittsburgh Steelers only have their logo on one side of the helmet; another NFL tradition for that team. But there is no way putting a logo on a Brown's helmet will make it better. If they ever put a logo on the Browns helmet they'll set Lake Erie on fire again. You new-school yuppies need to put down your mocha lattes and realize the Browns will never...or should...have a logo on the helmet. I may only be a Chicago Bears fan, but... respect tradition. |
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| -{ Thursday, July 29th, 2004 }- Mullet: be gone! That's it. I'm boycotting Burger King. Around 11:30 this morning, I was told to go get 4 double cheeseburgers (99 cents each with the coupon) and some fries with a $20 bill. I go through the drive-thru (1st mistake) and hand them a $20 bill with the coupon. Only the person I handed the money to didn't handle the change..it was someone else. Both of course had accents so you know they weren't born in this country. They handed me $3 in change and i was like, "hey, I gave you a $20" and they kept saying "no no no it was a $10, see? It float right here.". I looked over at the register and saw a 10, but that wasn't the bill I handed to them. They told me to go park on the side and wait. So I parked in the handicrap zone temporarily with the engine still on, assuming these stupid BK assholes would have my food & correct change shortly, figuring that two cripples wouldn't be getting BK in the few minutes I was there. Then of course some old fart parks in the other spot, and gimps along with their cane and looks at my plate and then sneers at me. I then retorted "I'm waiting for my god damn food!" Finally after waiting 10 minutes, I go park in another spot and go in. I go inside and the stupid fat manager who spits while he talks gives me this bullshit line that "we counted the money and it's all even." Bull fucking shit. I looked around and noticed all the young mothers with their stupid little brats eating and I was tempted to scream "BULLSHIT!", but unfortunately, being more mature, all I did shake my head and say "whatever." and took my food and $3 & left. I don't know what else I could have done... it's not like I could have actually gone to the register and count up the change. I've never worked a cash register in my life. I'm just sick and tired of putting up with these fucking idiots who can't speak English or these stupid fat idiots who didn't graduate high school who are running these fucking places. While it wasn't my money, and it was technically only screwed out about $5 instead of $10 since the coupons took at least 50% of the regular price, it's still bullshit that I had to go thru this. And it's not the first time I've been short-changed. It happened to me once at Arby's way back in like '96 or '97 and I witnessed it in the car again at that same Arby's more recently. Those employees don't care. They have a shitty job that they know they won't have in 6 months anyway, so they'll steal all the food they want and rip customers off. How many times have you been short-changed or have gotten your order wrong or the food was old or they gyped you on the quanity size..especially meat? The moral of the story is always pay for fast food in exact change or small bills. Always avoid paying with a $20 or a $10. And if you order a pizza, always open the box before you leave the restaurant. Well, fuck you, Burger King. I don't need you. You're not the only burger place in town. I'm doing myself a favor by not eating your greasy, fatty puke-shit food. You always put too much ketchup and mustard on, your pickles make me sick, your cheese is pasty and your burgers are pretty dry. You have made my boycott list of McDonalds and Best Buy. You have become the 3rd franchise to somehow screw me over. I should go back to that BK and pay in nothing but nickels and pennies. "Count 'em fucking UP!" |
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| -{ Wednesday, July 28th, 2004 }- Nuke the whales |
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| -{ Tuesday, July 27th, 2004 }- I don't wanna be around your fangs. Boycotts. It's the American Way (or at least a form of it). What makes a person boycott? Injustice. Horseshit service. Being fucked over. Moral outrage. Or sometimes it's a stupid reason. I'm boycotting Best Buy for a few reasons. Number 1 being that after I spent at least a month or two researching stereos (a pretty big investment) and was extremely excited about the whole thing. I found a great retro-looking stereo that did everything I wanted. Finally, after doing everything, I made up my mind that was actually going to part with so much money and get it. So what happens? The price sticker was still on the shelf, but no stereo. Of course, I talked to someone about it, they said they had it "in the back" and would check and bring it to me. "Alright." I thought. I waited probably 20 minutes, if not longer for this thing, and was finally completely relieved when I got it. I happily walked over to the check-out line, and waited of course another 15 minutes. Then this stupid old fart, who was better off being dead in the first place, scanned my credit card wrong 3 times and refused to do it anymore. The old fart said my credit card was rejected, which I then started to panic and thought something happened, i.e. fraud. I said scan it again and nothing. I couldn't believe it. I had my heart set on having this stereo for so long and now because of some fucking employee of Best Buy wouldn't let it happen. I don't remember what I said, but I walked out and left it sitting there. Stupid fucking old fart probably thought I was a deadbeat or something, which really pisses me off. I sped home and immediately called my credit card company, and my card was completely ok. So it wasn't my fault. I of course boiled-over in rage and began trashing the room. The whole experience just ruined everything. I didn't even want the stereo after that, because I know that everytime I would have looked at it, I would have been reminded of the whole incident. In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't get it, because I needed my money for more important things and I would have ended up blowing and wasting hundreds of more dollars on CDs and shit. I had a beef going with Best Buy over the years already, that being there is ALWAYS a long wait in check-out. Yeah, you build like 12 fucking check-out lanes but only open 2 of them. Real fucking smart. Also they never ever seem to have the CD's I want, but most importantly, my friend O'D worked there and they screwed him over. I don't take too kindly to places screwing over my friends. So I say fuck Best Buy. You over-charged me on CDs and other computer products for years, so now you've lost a lot of business from me. So fuck you. I'll take my business elsewhere. And maybe I'm making too big of a deal out of it, but I don't care. I just cannot morally bring myself to finanically support the life these kinds of places after so many shitty things have happened. Apparently we live in a day and age where customer service doesn't mean anything anymore, and the apparently "the customer is always wrong" and is "always trying to pull a scam." |
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| -{ Monday, July 26th, 2004 }- Go back to Planet Dumbass You know, I don't understand the whole point of movies or TV ratings system. What is considered "too harsh" or "too sexuality explicit", etc? There's been a lot of buzz lately that movie ratings are way too lenient. They say too much shit has been getting away with a PG rating. Well, society is going to shit anyway. You nuts worry about violence in TV shows but yet, on the news, which is shown 24 hours a day, and generally from 4-6:30pm and from 9-10:30pm, and that contains more gory violence than any other TV show has. I don't want to see open surgery, or needles being poked into some woman's eyelid from botox, or some dead bodies from a war, or twins joined at the head, actual hard drug use and all these other freaks. I mean, it's even worse when the news does previews for its newscasts, and they SHOW these spots all during the day when there's kids watching these stations. Like, go ahead and talk about it with your newscasters for the promos, but jesus fucking christ, don't fucking show the actual footage of it! Some of us don't want to see that kind of shit. And as for TV shows, those stupid black-box ratings are pointless. They stay up there for like 3 seconds. And I, like most people, usually end up missing the first minute or two of a show. |
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| -{ Sunday, July 25th, 2004 }- I don't come down to where you work and slap the dick out of your mouth |
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| Ah. There it is. The official logo celebrating the 4 month anniversary of the Untitled Daily Column Project, made mostly in Paintbrush..and it only took 3 hours. What a long 4 months it's been. Still this column has no name, and there's been many missed deadlines..with columns being magically edited or appearing later in time. |
| Today was the day of the dreaded haircut. I have been putting this off for at least 3 months, two months after I had gotten my last one in late February of this year. A few things bother me about the haircut. One, it's spending $11 for the haircut and the $2 tip...being a cheap bastard, I hate spending money on stuff I can't eat or drink. Two, is the waiting. God how I hate waiting! Going to a barber shop and just sitting in a hard chair for some 15 to 45 minutes with nothing to read, and smelling all those weird odors of chemicals and old hair and there's usually some stupid brat or 5 running around, tipping shit off the shelves and making noise. But today was a good day. I had a coupon for $6.95, and I went early enough in the day that there was absolutely no wait at all! I was completely blown away. Because the last time I went to that place, I had to wait 110 minutes because apparently the stupid brats had school off; and I couldn't go another day, 'cause the coupon was to expire at the end of the day. So I spent my time wandering around department stores and taking long-ass walks. Not to mention that even after they gave me a specific time to be back, I still had to wait more 15 minutes. Ah, sometimes being a cheap bastard is such a curse. And afterwards, finally being "mullet-free", my neck is always cold now. haha. |
| Eric Milton of the Phillies had a no-hitter thru 8 innings. Then of course bullshit happened, the Cubs got a basehit, a very cheap basehit because Doug Glanville got a late jump and apparently doesn't know how to play fucking center field. Then more hits, stupid Phillies Manager Bowa leaves him in too long, the tying run scores and not only does Milton lose the no-hitter, but he doesn't factor in the decision!! The Phillies ended up winning the game in extra innings, but it's just shitty for Milton. That's what's such fucking bullshit about baseball. |
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