I�m quite sure it wasn�t long after that my mother started losing her sanity. Do not be shocked! Every mother knows of what I speak. That realization that you have just undertaken something far beyond the normal scope of challenges you faced on an everyday basis before having a baby. It eats at your sanity. You never truly regret it, but it still dines on your rational mind. Cheers to all mothers who continue to survive! Each and everyone of you is a testament to womens strenghths and weaknesses. Hail to the mother!
My mother was an inventive mother. I don�t remember much from before the divorce, but after I remember much. I will not touch on the unpleasant things we both suffered through in regards to our relationship. Most of our troubles are long gone and I see the situation much more clearly as an adult than I ever did as a child. My mother had a tough job raising two of us on her own. My brother, Butch, is just under five years my junior. I think, looking back, maybe she was a little more self serving than she should have been.. I have always been the self sacrificing kind, so it may just be hard for me to relate. We never discuss how bad it really was. I think my mother has put up a mental block in regards to most of it, but she has her coping mechanism, I have mine. I credit my mother for my ability to never give up, truly stretch to see the best of a situation, and my need for honesty. She can be brutally honest, and so can I. I know what she�s thinking. How many people can say that they know the thoughts of another. I know Betty�s. She wears them on her sleeve. I am grateful everyday for the values my mother has given me. She is the strongest woman I know. Her only weakness may be the fact that she is sometimes too strong for her own good. I only say this because she rarely opens her heart to me. At least not with spoken words or physical affection like hugging, etc. What she does is figure out the things I need the most, and makes sure I get them. She bought me a dishwasher this year. Now the monetary expense isn�t what mattered. What mattered is the love behind it. She bought me that dishwasher to make things easier on a mother of 5 who found herself doing dishes ALL THE TIME! Call it intuition, she always seems to know exactly what I need. Again I will say, there is no such thing as not loving your children. But to that I will add, no matter what the ups and downs, no matter the laughter or the tears�..there is no such thing as not loving your mother. I love you Mom. You will never be alone.
I do remember the day my parents called me into the living room to tell me, �Daddy was moving out.� A bad day to say the least. They did the best they could in a horrible situation. Kudos to both of you.
DAD�.
Hail to the father! Raise up your hand and scream it with me! My hero and mentor. While a rare visitor during the time following the divorce up until the time I turned fourteen, he has had a great amount of influence over the adult I have become. While my mother gave me certain gifts to aid my journey through Real Life, my father has also. He has given me patience, knowledge of myself, and the ability to stand up for myself. He is the greatest man I have ever known in my life. He has always been my friend without forgetting to be my father first. I know for a fact that I would be less of a person if he hadn�t been in my life. My love for him is simply part of my nature now. I call him every weekend just to hear his voice. I am beginning to fear his mortality also. This man who has been my rock in hard times and the one who has brought me through so much, how will I live without him? I cannot answer that question. In truth, I refuse to even ponder it. After all, isn�t my father the one who will live forever? For all the good that he is, why should the world do without him? Why should I do without him? Or my children and grandchildren? Stories and memories will never do him justice, not ever. Not the greatest man who has ever lived, there are no words to chose.
I remember so little from before the divorce. I remember piggy-back rides he gave me. I remember Dad coming in and stroking my long hair as I fell asleep at night. To this day if I am stressed about something, I mean really stressed , my husband knows that for me to sleep I have to have my hair stroked. Never has it failed.
