There is one more person I should mention......
JEN BROOKS
Jen is my best friend from high school. She is tall and brunette, with laughter that fills a room. She has hair that never does what she wants it to, and a giving spirit that never ceases to amaze me. I haven't talked to Jen in well over 2 years. I keep hoping that some how I will get a call or a letter, telling me she forgives me.
Let me explain.
Jen got married right after high school. I warned her, as a friend should, that he was wrong for her. Nonetheless, she didn't listen. It's ok, I tried to be supportive and accept the marriage. I was not jealous or hurt, only worried that my friend may be unhappy. As things moved along, she wasn't. They divorced. Not too long after the ink was dry, she met a guy. Now, I do not think that this is bad, especially for Jen, who has never lingered all that much on the bad things, only moved on to the good. The marriage had been laughable for a long time...since the first year. She started dating him....but she did mention to me one day, that I had to approve of him. Which put me in hysterical laughter. When I asked her why, she simply looked at me and said, "Well, you were right about the last one." I agreed, as a good friend should.
As for the guy. An alcoholic. Sad but true. So many things I should have said to Jen in the past that I held me tongue about, so many things I could have done for her and didn't weighed upon my mind. She calls me to tell me that they are getting married. I try to be happy for her, but cut the call short. I am crying tears of dispair. Not for me or my friendship with Jen, but for her, for her sanity, for her happiness. Our friendship has weathered many storms in it's time. I never fear for it, even now. I hold tight to her n my heart, and I know she does me.
She called me on her wedding day, while she was waiting for a ride to meet her groom. She was so happy, said she wished I could be there. I had bowed out due to the fact that I could not watch my best friend in the whole world get run over by a bus again. Because that was what it felt like for me....watching her go to her doom. Why? Many reasons. His deplorable behavior at the 10 year reunion that she spent the better part of a year helping to plan...his drinking and driving...his need for her to be all things to only him. So, as she spoke, my head spun. I wanted to help her escape, to drive the hour it would take me to get there and get her out of it. Isn't that what friends do? Save each other? I wanted to tell her to stay put, don't answer the door, I am coming to get you, just don't marry that man! But she kept talking, and I stayed silent. She married him.
It ate away at me though. It obsessed me. All I could think about was that I had let her do something that may in someway break her spirit, hurt her, CHANGE her. So, one day, I made a call. The call that changed everything from that day forward. I couldn't reach her on the phone, so I had my say with her voicemail. I told her she had made a mistake. That I should have stopped her, should have been a better friend, should have been there for her like she had always been for me. That she couldn't "fix" him, no matter how hard she tried. Because if you know Jen, that's what she wants to do, is make people better, help them, love them enough to "fix" them It is her nature, her gift, her failure. It makes her this wonderful, beautiful being that I love in friendship with my whole heart. It also makes her vunerable and too forgiving, it is why she gets hurt.
