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| "PROMISE?...PROMISE?" When my father told me that he will give or do something for me, I always nagged him, "Promise? Promise?" When he fulfilled his pledge, I would exclaim with joy. But if he didn't, I reacted, "But you promised me..." For a child, a promise is something sacred. He believes in it; he hopes for it. The Little Prince in Antoine de St.-Exupery's story said, "When you promise to call, make sure you don't forget. When you promise to come at four o'clock, make sure you come on time. Because I remember your promise and I look forward to it, and when you don't call or come on time, I am disappointed." Indeed, a child has a short memory. But when it comes to promises, he often doesn't forget. A promise is a link between the now and the future, between the giver and the expectant receiver. Keeping promises nurture relationships; breaking them, erodes relationships. When we fulfill our promises, we cement our ties; when we fail to keep it, expect to lose it in time. Spouses sometimes remark, "My partner does not believe in me." Parents may say, "Our children do not respect us." We may complain, "My associates and friends do not take me seriously." We feel so upset when people, especially our loved ones, do not render to us their trust and confidence. Maybe we are at a loss why such situations ensue, and we cannot seem to figure out what to do. But if we really try to evaluate the root of the problem, we may realize that it was borne out of our failure to keep our promises. And this did not happen overnight! Adults are like children when it comes to expecting promises. Promises, especially the little ones, mean a lot, candies, toys, flowers, a gift; watching a movie, eating dinner...these seemingly insignificant things matter. Come to think of it, would people actually expect us to keep our extraordinary promises when we cannot do the easier ones? Credibility is an aggregate result of being true to our promises...I guess people will readily give their understanding if we fail to deliver our difficult promises. But they would certainly be less accommodating with our incapability on delivering, to their mind, our common and plain pledges. Did you hear them say, "You'll buy me a car when I grow up? You cannot even buy me candies....You promise to love me always, but you cannot even greet me or bring me out on our anniversary...You swear to be there for us, but you cannot even make a call..." It is said that "promises are made to be broken." But what is sad is the consequence: relationships are likely to be broken when we often break our promises. It goes without saying that every time we promise, we make sure to keep them; relationships would then be established and fostered. We become credible and honorable people only because we were considerate to meet the expectations of others -- "Promise? Promise?" By Fr. Simplicio Apalisok,Jr., Shoelaces (excerpts) |