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| LOVE HIT ME By Alegria Dolor Love hit me when I least expected it. I had just broken off with my first boyfriend months before and wasn't really looking for a new "special someone" when I met the great love of my life. I met him at the school library where I spend most of my day, just reading and studying for the classes ahead. It was one of those out of the blue moments when a guy would suddenly smile and look a girl straight in the eyes and then the surprised girl would blush and smile back. I saw in him the exact opposite of my ex. He was never shy. He told me how he felt about me, about us. He was thoughtful and caring. He reminded me to eat lunch or to sleep early. He never forgot the little things that matter so much to me. On special days, he offered me white tulips. He was demonstrative and liked to shout out loud how much he cared for me. He was passionate about life and determined to reach his dreams. And so, I fell in love. Love hit me when I least expected it. We were having dinner when he just popped the question "Do you love me?" without even declaring that loves me first. Truth be told, I knew that I loved him even before he asked. Love hit me when I least expected it. My world began to revolve around him and only him. We spent day in and day out with each other. We studied together. We ate together. We watched movies together. We hunted for our favorite books together. We began doing every thing together and without me noticing, we became one. As the months passed, love hit me when I least expected it. It hit me through such painful words. The great love of my life began saying cruel and spiteful words to me like "malas ka sa buhay ko" or "sawang-sawa na akong makita ang pangalan mo sa cellphone ko" or the most painful "wala akong pakialam kahit magpakamatay ka pa." Love hit me when I least expected it. It hit me when I made him wait in the car for 5 minutes. It hit me when I didn't follow his instructions to the letter. It hit me when I didn't understand what he said. Worse, it hit me when his day was not going well and mine was. The great love of my life hit me--not just once and for the littlest reason there is. He began justifying his "episodes" by saying that I deserved it and that he wanted a partner he could control. And the worst part was, I actually believed that I deserved it; that if I wanted to become his wife, I should be under his absolute control; that if I wanted to be happy, I should believe every word he said. And so, I accepted love's hits in silence. I thought of them as "cari?" or even mad, passionate love, because after he hit me, he would kiss me and say that he never meant to hurt me and that it would never happen again. I always believed him and his sweet promises. Until one day, when I least expected it, love hit me once more. This time, not on my leg, but right at my face. He hit me before I even knew he was mad. I hadn't even asked him "why?" when he began hitting me. He hit me so hard, my right earring fell off. I begged him to stop because I could already taste blood. But he stopped only when I couldn't count how many times he hit me. And when he drove me home, he didn't even bother to ask how I felt. Minutes later, he sent me a text message. Deep inside, I expected to read his promises again. But he only asked if my parents or anybody else saw my red, swelling face. He showed no sign of remorse. To him, I deserved every single slap on the face that I got. On that unexpected day, I finally told myself that love hit me for the last and final time. _____________________ Author's note: I am a professional working as an associate in a prestigious firm in Makati. I am also a recently self-proclaimed man-hater (but under the circumstances, who wouldn't be?). Source: Youngblood Philippine Daily Inquirer |