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| Keep Smiling!!! 1. Erap: "Doc, I accidentally swallowed a chicken bone!" Doc: "Is it choking?" Erap: "No, it is Max's." Doc: "I don't mean 'Chow King', I mean, are you choking..." Erap: "No, Doc! Serioso ako, Doc!" 2. Sex is like mathematics: Add the bed, minus the lights, subtract the clothes, bring down the panty, divide the legs, be ready to multiply... 3. Nagpayabangan ang tatlong daga: Daga #1: "Kakainin ko ang keso sa mouse trap!" Daga #2: "Ako, kakainin ko ang keso na may rat killer!" Daga #3: "Manood kayo. Yayariin ko yung pusa!" 4. Ano sa Tagalog ang asawa? ("May bahay") Ano naman ang kabit? ("May condo") 5. Doc: "Ano ang trabaho mo, iha?" Girl: "Substitute po." Doc: "Di kaya prostitute ?" Girl: "Doc, Mommy ko ang prostitute. Kung hindi siya puwede, ako ang pumapalit!" 6. Intsik: "Magkano punta sa Makati?" Taxi Driver: " Ikaw lang bang mag-isa?" Intsik; "Bakit, hindi ikaw sama?" 7. In an obstetricians clinic: Doc: "Hubad na, iha. Huwag kang mag-alala... I won't take advantage of you!" Girl: "Saan ko po ilalagay ang panty at bra ko?" Doc: "Diyan lang sa may tabi ng brief ko." 8. Sa seminario: Madre: "Father, pagsabihan mo naman yung mga seminarista. Umiihi sila sa pader!" Father: "Sister naman. Maliit na bagay, huwag mo nang pansinin!" Madre: "Naku, Father, malalaki po!" 9. Dalawang madre ang kinidnap ng dalawang lalaki at sila'y hinalay. Madre #1: "Ama, patawarin mo po siya at hindi niya alam ang kanyang ginagawa." Madre #2: "Sister, yung sa akin, marunong!" 10. At their honeymoon: 60-yr old Pastor to his young bride: "Honey, before we do it, let's first pray for guidance." Young bride: "Darling, just pray for endurance, I'll take care of the guidance " 11. At Bill Gate's wife's first press conference: Reporter: "How does it feel to have sex with the world's richest man?" BG's Wife: "No big deal...The world know's why he named his company Microsoft!" 12. In the doctor's clinic: Doc: "You need a lot of rest and quiet surroundings. Here are some tranquilizers to be taken by your wife." |