Dragonball
Z: FanFic Fist Explosion!
By Moxy Proxy
Editorfs Note: The following is a work of
fiction. Characters such as Drake, KidKolt, Orax and Phate are fictitious and
any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental. Plot holes are intentional. Continuity is not. I wash my
hands of this. Rated M for Alcohol Reference, Crude humour, Language, Strong
Sexual Content, Violence. Experience may change during
online play. Contents are extremely hot. Open with care. Do not use while
operating a motor vehicle. You have the right to remain silent. You waive all
other rights. All rights reserved, except in
Goku was walking around in the forest, when he walked into a bar.
gOuch,h he said! The bar was dented by Goku's forehead.
gIt would be,h a bystander stated.
Upon closer inspection, it appeared that the bar was a load bearing structural pillar. Uh oh, thought Goku, who was now deeply scared. The pillar supported the roof of a bar, the sort of kind where one imbibes large quantities of alcohol. Goku, needless to say, fell off and landed on the ground, causing the atoms around him to become unstable and explode. Goku then had the sudden urge to take a crap, so he began searching for a toilet. However a toilet was nowhere to be found. But he really had to go. So he used Vegeta, and took a crap on Vegeta's forehead. Vegeta did not like this, and began to wipe the Goku-style fecal matter off his face.
g'Sup?h Goku
said to Vegeta
Being the nice guy he is, Goku handed Vegeta a Momusu [Ed: Morning Musume] CD so there would be no hard feelings between them. However, Vegeta, hating Momusu, was enraged, and through the CD into a wall, as he was acting like a bitch. Yes, Vegeta, being the all powerful Super Saiyan that he is, did in fact 'through' the CD into a wall, defying and overcoming the laws of physics. Goku then retrieved the CD, and began to use it as a masturbatory tool because Goku was a pedophile, and thus proved that Saiyans have small dicks, because they are Asian, and love school girls.
Piccolo wept a silent tear at the realization that he has nothing to do with this story, and that nobody liked his green skin. But he has a big heart, and a small girl that he saved from the clutches of Orax. But Orax, being the obsessive selfish beast that he is, confronted Piccolo with the small girl as prize.
Suddenly, out jumped a being named KidKolt dancing in a ballerina outfit, insulting Frieza, who also appeared out of nowhere. Frieza was suffering his 342nd loss to the super saiyans. But he took his rage out on KidKolt, blasting him to pieces and then masturbating over his charred remains. Frieza, finished with his business headed toward Goku's house only to find a surprised Chichi. She was naked, with Bulma, and they were playing a game of grab-ass. Frieza then sprouted many tentacles. Gohan and Videl videotaped for prosperity [Ed: I guess they wanted money]. Bra, Pan, and Lunch formed the gallery. Suffice to say, Frieza was flabbergasted.
In the midst of this, Hannibal Lecter came out of his closet and made Lunch in a Pan while wearing a Bra. Frieza, hardly able to control himself, violated Hannibal Lecter with his many many tentacles. Gohan and Videl videotaped this for prosperity. Interrupting on Frieza and Lecter's fun, Cell blasted through both, and fainted when he saw his adopted daughter Bulma naked with Chichi and every other female DBZ character. He quickly recovered and flew away with Bulma to have lots of crazy wild sex. You have to understand, he was a jealous father.
Drake, noticing the naked women, was overcome with a strange feeling in his pants, and ran away because he didnft know what was going on. He went back off to the side, not wanting to ruin the fun, and snoozed.
gHe as in?h
gPhate.h Went the dialogue between Chichi and Bulma, over Bulma's cell phone.
By this point, both Bulma and Chichi were far in heat, and Bulma began to rub her finger over Chichi's vagina. The argument was that Phate had used more minutes calling Bulma's cellphone but Phate had called Chichi more times but with less minutes. Yes, they were arguing while fingering each other. To matters even worse (better?), Bra and Pan walked in on Chichi and Bulma fingering each other, and proceeded to strip out of their clothes as well.And then Kami-sama said, "Fuck this," and killed them all. Dogs began licking their bloody remains. Phate, looking into the eyes of Kami-sama himself, declared that as being unjust and unfair, and used his powers to revive all those who had died.
gNo you fools, you're supposed to go on a wacky sexual adventure to find and use the dragon balls!h Kami-sama stated.
Phate, now realizing this, killed everyone again except the women, who he left naked. All the DBZ women, now naked as the day they were born, started their long and final journey for the Dragonballs. This was, indeed, the FINAL FANTASY! And so begins this "phateful "misadventure.
Chapter 2
So anyways, Trunks
was at the beach doing the limbo. Suddenly he started regurgitating the ham and
cheese sandwich he had earlier. Out of nowhere came LadySage
to clean it up and bake Trunks a pie, cherry pie. Trunks looked deep into the
eyes of LadySage and leaned out to her face to smack
a fly that was crawling on her nose. Unfortunately, the act of swatting the fly
was too much like the fusion dance so Trunks merged with LadySage,
creating LadyTrunks. Understandably upset and
disgruntled, LadyTrunks fought the temptation to look
down into its pants, and instead just re-enacted the famous scene from American
Pie with the pie that LadySage had baked.
Change scene to the Dragonball Z girls...
Bulma's Dragonball tracking thing blipped frantically. Apparently one of the Dragonballs had been mistaken for a cherry and had been baked into LadySage's pie. This was unknown to the group of course, and so they decided to head out and find the ball. The group, naked as ever, made sure to please each other in the most questionable ways ever, and eventually stopped at the first town on their new journey.
Upon arrival they happened upon perhaps the most androgynous person they had ever seen (even anatomically) who was doing something rather odd with a pie. The sight of LadyTrunks failed to curb the raging lust of the women, so they continued their actions right in front of his/her (their?) very eyes. By this point, the Dragonball radar was emitting all sorts of wild sounds and colours. Stepping away from the pie, LadyTrunks, now covered in its goop, was unsure whether to join in or stand back and jerk off. LadyTrunks was beginning to get a strange feeling in its special areas, but the merging had reduced its naivety to unfathomable levels, and did not know what was going on. This came to be known as the Drake Effect. Due to the Drake effect LadyTrunks decided to run away taking the pie firmly in grasp.
Suddenly Gohan appeared dressed as the Great Sayaman and declared that trouble was afoot, and promptly flew off, grabbed LadyTrunks, and proceeded to drop him/her in the mass of quivering nude women. The Trouble, the newest villain, stayed far in the "back lines" so to speak, and watched from afar, redundancy in mind. Laughter ensued. Finally unable to control himself any longer the trouble emerged from the shadows, reveal himself to be Yuri. It was at that very moment that the 30 minutes of fusion was up, leaving a very confused (and embarrassed) LS, a very angry (and hungry) Trunks, and a mass of naked flesh all around them. Yuri, known in these parts by her full name, Yurika Star, laughed maniacally again, and walked towards the LS and Trunks and, with a swish of the hand, stripped them. Chichi and Bulma pounced.
All this time, Gohan had been struggling to maintain his composure, but at that, he collapsed to the ground, blood spewing profusely from his nostrils. Trunks, who quickly forgot about his hunger and anger, followed suit, covering everyone with blood. This only served to increase the sexual tension which was so thick you could cut it with a spoon. Videl, ever the opportunist, whipped out a camera for prosperity's sake. Gohan, having plugged his nose with more Kleenex than what Phate goes through in an average week, joined his wife and helped her film. Every one of the naked females, including LadySage, was disgusted by this turn of events. However, Yuri, in all her evilness, pointed menacingly, and told them that there were "worse things" that they could be covered in. Yuri then proceeded to demonstrate these worse things by covering herself in them. They included such things as peanut butter, jam, and motor oil. But perhaps the most disturbing of them all was the cow bile. It was as if a thousand cows cried out in anguish and were suddenly silenced. However, these things were only done to settle the girls' nerves. I mean, who cares about peanut butter over blood? What Yuri really meant when she said her original sentence was none other than the devil juice that only the youthful boys could produce.
This was Evil Android 18's cue to enter. She had recently been modified to spray evil devil juice stolen from young boys through several tentacles which emerged from her butt. However, to preserve the beauty that was Android 18, the tentacles were revealed to not in fact be part of her butt, but came from a handy dandy mobile device she kept in her pocket. Each tentacle proceeded to cover the naked DBZ girls with their devil juice stolen from youthful boys. 18 took this opportunity to employ the secondary function of her mobile device, which was flashing furiously at the pie lying on the ground. She ripped apart the pie to find the cherry coated Dragonball inside which she gave to Yuri. To be continued.