toolong

HOW TO TELL WHEN YOU'VE BEEN IN THE GARAGE TOO LONG.

You've been in the garage too long when every tool you own is out of the toolbox and on the bench or the floor.

You've been in the garage too long when you drill a hole in something, walk over to get a drink and when you turn back to finish your drilling, the drill is gone and you can't find it for months. When you don't need it.

You've been in the garage too long when the kids don't recognize you when you walk in the house.
"Who's that guy, Mommy?";

You've been in the garage too long when you know what song the late-night DJ is going to play next, because you've memorized his play list.

You've been in the garage too long when you start hearing the soybean and hog farming report on the news break.

You've been in the garage waaay too long when the radio starts playing church music.

You've been in the garage too long when you can't straighten up your back without a sharp pain.

You've been in the garage too long when you start looking intently at little bugs crawling across the floor. For 20 or 30 minutes at a whack.

You've been in the garage too long when you do the same job twice. Or maybe three times. And do it wrong each time.

You've been in the garage too long when you pinch your finger really badly between a tool and a frame tube and it doesn't even bother you. You just look at it for a moment and continue working.

You've been in the garage too long when you hear the newspaper thump on the ground in front of your house.

You've been in the garage too long when the dog won't even keep you company anymore.

You've been in the garage too long when you start putting off the messy jobs, like cleaning the filter, until last.

You've been in the garage too long when you start losing wheel spacers without dropping them.

You've been in the garage too long when you pinch more than one tube. And it's the one inside of a 5.80x18 Metzeler with seven rim locks.

You've been in the garage too long when you cut your finger and it doesn't even bleed through the grease.

You've been in the garage too long when you start wiping those greasy hands on your only clean T-shirt.

You've been in the garage too long when you can remember hearing the hot water heater kicking on and off about a dozen times.

You've been in the garage too long when your shorts start to feel like they're made out of old rope.

You've been in the garage too long when you start lighting your smokes with the welding outfit because you can't find the matches, which are ? somewhere.

You've been in the garage too long when your eyeballs start to itch and you have to rub them with the only clean knuckle you have. And it feels good. So good, in fact, that you rub your eyelids half raw in the process. Then your eyelids hurt and the eyeballs itch even worse.

You've been in the garage too long when things start rolling under the work bench and you have to fish them out with a piece of welding rod. And a lot of fuzzy crud comes out with the item. And maybe a few dead, dried-up old bugs stuck in the fuzzy stuff.

You've been in the garage too long when you make a sandwich and spread the mustard with a straight slot screwdriver.

You've been in the garage too long when you go to do something and find out that you already did it.

You've been in the garage too long when you're too tired to get up from the milk crate and go to bed.

You've been in the garage too long when your mower falls over. And you could have stopped it if you just would have moved fast enough. Instead, you just stood there and watched it slowly keel over like a sack of oats.
And you didn't even care.

That, my friend, is when you should turn the lights off and go to bed, 'cause you have been in the garage too long.

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws