MovieWatch

Now we are getting towards the "middle of the barrel".  I don't recommend these movies, but they are not total losers either.  Listed in alphabetical order within "star" rating.  Page down to get to the really bad ones.

Apt Pupil	More plausible than your typical Stephen King story (no cars come to life) and therefore more disturbing (hard to imagine one being fascinated with first person holocaust stories). The ending saved it.
Armageddon	This is the best bad movie I have seen in a long time. A hidden comedy and parody lurks somewhere, the science is so bad it's funny. Buscemi is great and I loved the "8 track" line.
Deceiver	Didn't buy it… too convoluted, nice performances though.. Roth is always a treat.
Desperate Measures	Another shoot'em up thriller, today's twist is the "good guy can't kill bad guy 'cuz the bad guy is the only man on the planet that can save the good guy's kid from dying (bone marrow transplant)". Oh well,  seen one, seen'em all.
Kundun	Now I know that: 1) The American custom of "the red carpet treatment" comes from Tibet; 2) The American custom of "wearing a lampshade on your head" comes from Tibet; and 3) Martin Scorsese should stick to American gangster movies.
Mafia	Some very funny moments… "keep the car", "he has an HMO", all of the casino games were great (Candyland, Guess a Number), but overall nowhere near the original, the supreme, the one,  the only ….."Airplane".
Mighty Joe Young	Exceptional effects and overall well made, but the story was not strong enough to put it into the "recommended" category.
Palmetto	The story had potential, Shue was great, but the direction was lousy.
Suicide Kings	Pulp Fiction clone without the clever dialogue, snappy editing and good direction (doesn't leave much).  Another muddled ending….
The Apostle	This is a well made film that just didn't click with me. Duvall is great, but I just wasn't moved by it.
The Big Lebowski	Hey Dude, how do we make 5 minutes of funny stuff into a 2 hour movie????
There's Something About Mary	You have to be in the right mood for a movie like this, and I wasn't in a "laugh at the guys privates caught in his zipper" type of mood. However, I have never heard an audience laugh as loud as they did for this flick.
U.S. Marshals	Fugitive II, without any tension… cut and paste movie making, take out a train, put in a plane, etc., etc.
Very Bad Things	This could have been so much better if played straight, rather than going for the humor. The first 30 minutes is too tense, too real, to then switch to a "Something about Mary" ending.

Blade	This is by far, the very best comic book, vampire, kung- fu, sci-fi flick I have seen in years! And I am so glad they don't make more of them!
Buffalo 66	I found it disturbing, and not in a "gas chamber" sort of way…. I just didn't like the opening act…. Why did she go with him???
Caught Up	The rest of the audience was much more impressed than I, they talked to the screen throughout the movie.
Disturbing Behavior	The saving grace of this movie was the character of Gavin Strick, (played by Nick Stahl). Take him out and this is zero star material. Make a movie around his character and you've got a good one.
Fallen	Muddled. A premise that goes nowhere…. the twist was clever but didn't "grab me".
Firestorm	Expecting a bomb, but it was ok, very hokey in spots but other times it surprised me. I was the only one laughing in some scenes (e.g., the infamous head through the bottom of the speed boat finale!).
Godzilla	Why did I see this movie? And why didn't the helicopter fly straight up to avoid the zilla guy?
Hard Rain	Once again the bad guy comes to life (see Firestorm) and where does all the ammunition come from in these movies?
Hurricane Streets	Kids shoplift and skip school… something bad happens… movie ends at 88 minute point…. I think they ran out of money.
John Carpenter's Vampires	Inconsistent. Some very poor dialogue. The premise was intriguing but it couldn't hold up the rest of the movie.
Pecker	Very funny a few times, more frequently only mildly amusing and occasionally embarrassingly stupid. You have to love the sugar kid though, and I felt like a voyeur watching Patti Hearst (what was going through her mind?)
Practical Magic	Another movie that didn't know what it wanted to be…. Comedy? nope, not with the abduction and murder scenes… Mystical? nope, it wasn't… Romantic Comedy? I guess, but it didn't have anything new to offer here either.
Psycho (1998 version)	After watching the Xerox version I realized how lame '60's movies are.  And the 1998 Chicago Bears would beat the 1963 Bears handily too.
Ronin	Boring car chases, ridiculous science, and not a whodunit, but rather a whocareswhodunit. One redeeming quality: the bullet removal scene.
Snake Eyes	What a waste of a wonderful opening scene. The movie (and the lead character) changes before our eyes… from intriguing to boring.
Species II	I liked it more than I should have, this is not a good movie. It is a wacky, grade "B" flick that I would love to see on Mystery Theater 2000.
The Faculty	The Sci-Fi elements were the highlight, the "slasher" aspects were boring. I was surprised to see Rodriguez stoop this low and Williamson's writing is right out of the "Department of Redundancy Department".
The Players Club	Slow and boring.
The Siege	A good opening is wasted by a convoluted plot and attempts to make a political controversy out of a thriller. Propping up Willis as the bad guy didn't work.
The Sweet Hereafter	Interesting at times, I liked the time shifts, but too slow and ultimately not about much.
Two Girls and a Guy	Downey is excellent, but the story is incomplete. At best a two act play with a one minute second act.
Wrongfully Accused	The boys who made Airplane and Naked Gun need to get back together. On their own, they are making semi-funny movies (see Mafia).

Lost In Space	Boring, muddled story, I fell asleep
54	Once more proving Rule # 1. Watching this movie I never felt like I was in 54 or any disco. The music was bad, the dancing non-existent and the character development was worse than the dancing.
Soldier	I violated Rule # 1 again.  And how did the Aircraft Carrier get to the planet?
Halloween:H20	There is nothing interesting in this movie. The best part was the length…. short.
Mercury Rising	There is not an original thought in this movie, written by morons.
Twilight	Confusing, boring, and why did they bury the body in their backyard --- they live in the middle of nowhere, why not stash the corpse a couple of blocks away?

Ride	Dumb, poorly written, not funny (at least the half that I saw -- I walked out halfway through).
Sphere	This is a bad movie, laughable even. How did such talent get involved? Did they read the script? I was heckling the screen……
The Avengers	This is the worst movie of 1998, and of course it is a Rule # 1 Violation.  When will I learn?