Gibbons: I noticed that you have three X's on the back of your neck. That's appropriate, since your looking at three strikes.

Xander: I wish I had a video camera, 'cause this is going to be one hell of a trick.

Gibbons: I want you to meet some people and find out whatever you can about them.
Xander: What kind of people?
Gibbons: Dirty. Dangerous. Your kind of people.

Virg: So, how long have you been a secret agent?
Xander: Two days.
Virg: And I bet they picked you up pumping iron in San Quentin?
Xander: Have you ever been punched in the face for talking too much?

Xander: Dude, you have a bazooka. Stop thinking cop and start thinking Playstation. Blow shit up!

Yelena: *Xander kisses her* Did you enjoy that?
Xander: Yes.
Yelena: Good, because it will never happen again. Yelena: Xander? Remember what I told you before, when you kissed me?
Xander: Never again?
Yelena: I lied.

Xander: He also wants video games banned because he believes that they're destroying education...come on Dick, it's the only education we got.

Yelena: I'm an agent too. I've been undercover for two years.
Xander: Two years? What was your plan? Have them die of old age?

Yelena: Do you know what a wireless transfer is?
Xander: Do you have something else you have to do? And let us big boys have a conversation?
Yelena: Conversation? More than a four letter word, you want some ice before your brain overheats?
Xander: Ice? Sure you can chip some off your heart, if you can find it.

Gibbons: You've passed the test. The Gibbons Test.