Gigi: It looks like you stepped in something.
Duncan: Yes, I believe that's poop.

Jane: Oh well, I can still stick a knife in the back of my beloved twin. Today is tuesday. Tuesday is my favorite day.

Duncan: Duncan don't do what he don't wanna do.

Iris: That was one lame fight.

Duncan: What if I fall through the ice?
Bri: Well, I guess the date's over.

Jack: We've entered bitch county.

Jack: I love that I'm shallow.

Bri: Hey that better not be a mars bar over there.

Jack: You know it's been 2 months and I haven't fantasied about another girl.

Jack: Jane there's so many things you don't know.

Jack: Sorry Zoe. It's just your head, nothing personal.

Jane to Jack: Quit hitting on Zoe's mom. That's disgusting.

Jack: You know what you need? A mega dose of vitamin Jack.

Jane to Jack: You couldn't think yourself out of a shoe.

Iris: So what's with the camera?
Jane: It's not a camera. It's a necklace.

Zoe about Lisa: You know what she's doing Jack. She's using you for your body.
Jack: Sweet.

Lisa: I am dating both of you. Together I'm dating the perfect man.
Duncan: Yes! I'm half a man.

Jane: How do you give yourself a hickey?
Jack: With a vaccum cleaner.

Zoe: I just love the smell of new clothes.
Jane: They're all vintage.
Zoe: Ew.

Zoe to Jane: Can I sniff your meat?