Josie: You know how in some movies they have a dream sequence, only they don't tell you it's a dream? This is so not a dream.

Merkin: Power is powerful.

Merkin: Merkin ain't jerkin', he's workin'.

Merkin: All the desks are basically evil.

Josie: Anita, when you wanted to seduce that guy in the mailroom and you didn't think you could learn Spanish fast enough, who quizzed you on your verbs?
Anita: Senorita Josie.
Josie: And Gus when you wanted to learn to knit, who showed you how to work the needles?
Gus: You did.
Anita: You knit?
Gus: Yeah.

Josie: Sometime you'll kiss someone and know that's the person you're suppose to kiss for the rest of your life.

Rob: Couple months means ten years in Bambi's life.

Josie: That'll teach me not to wear white after labor day.
Gibby: I don't think you're suppose to wear white jeans after 1983.

Guy: Are you in special ed?

Josie: Must...have...water.
Gym teacher: What do I look like? A waitress?

Gym teacher: And if you fail gym you're never getting into college.
Josie: You guys are still telling that lie?

Young Josie: Words are my life!

Gus: Do you even know these kids?
Josie: They hide my car.

Gus: Come on! Ass' and elbows! The news doesn't sleep you know!

Josie: I'm not Josie Grossie anymore!

Josie: Gus?
Gus: No it's the great and powerful oz.

George: I see you had the wheaties for breakfast.

Gus: It's like the all humiliations network.

Rob: I'm the Clow Slaw king of the world!

Anita as Pam: Sex. Yes well, sex...um...what do you say really, you know. Ahhh. You like a guy, you do it with him. Sometimes he calls, sometimes he doesn't.

Anita as Pam: Sex is really fun, when you're old enough which none of you are. Trust me I should know. Cause when you loose it to some guy named Junior with bad breath in a back of a van at a Guns 'N' Roses concert you're going to wish you listened to you mother when she said, "you know nobodies going to want to buy the whole frikin' ice cream truck when you're handing out the popsicles for free." Hehehehe. Ah. Any questions?

Gibby: Well, sometimes opposites attrack.

Gibby: What do you think we are, ametuers?

Josie: Do I want to be crunched?
Gibby: By Guy?
Kristen and Kirsten: Oh yeah.

Merkin: She wants me.

Gibby: You guys, what is the one thing that could ruin my senior prom?
Kristen: That you'd trip on your Barbie heels and I'd get named Prom Queen. Did I just say that out loud?

Anita: I never made it to my prom.
Cynthia: Really?
Anita: I only made it to the parking lot.

Guy: Josie you rock my world.

Sam: You're amazing Josie Geller.

Josie: Let me tell you something. I don't care about being your stupid prom queen. I'm 25 years old. I'm an undercover reporter for the Chicago Sun-Times. I have been beating my brains out trying to impress you people. Let me tell you something, Gibby, Kirsten, Kristen. You will spend your lives trying to figure out how to keep others down because it makes you feel more important. Why her? Let me tell you something about this girl--she is unbelievable. I was new here and she befriended me, no questions asked. But you--you were only my friend after my brother, Rob, posed as a student and told you to like me. All of you people: There is a big world out there, bigger than prom, bigger than high school. It won't matter if you were the prom queen or the quarterback of the football team or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are--and try not to be afraid of it. Excuse me.

Rigfort: Have a weiner.

Sam: I'm sorry I'm late. It took me forever to get here.
Josie: I know what you mean.

The Article:
Someone once told me that to write well, you have to write what you know. This is what I know. I am 25 years old and I have never really kissed a guy. A geek to the core, most of my childhood years spent doing extra homework I requested from the teacher. High school was more of the same. Then at 17 it seemed my luck was about to change. The cutest guy asked me to the Senior Prom, but it turned out he asked me as a cruel joke, and I have never fully recovered. Yes, it is embarrassing to share this with the world, but it would be hard to explain what I learned and how I learned it, without sharing this humiliating history. I recieved an assignment, my first as a reporter, to go back to high school and find out about kids today. What I ended up finding was myself and that high school hasn't changed. There's still that one teacher who marches to her own drummer. Those girls are still there. The ones that even when as you grow up remain the most beautiful girls you've seen close up. The smart kids, who everyone knows as the brains, but I just knew them as my soul mates, my teachers, my friends. And there's still that one guy with with his mysterious confidence who seems so perfect in every way. The guy you get up and go to school for in the morning. South Glen would not have been the same without him. High school would not have been the same without him. I would not have been the same without him. I lived a lifetime of regret after my first high school experience, and now after my second, my regrets are down to one. A certain teacher was hurt on my path to self-discovery, and all though this article may serve as a step, it in no way makes up what I did to him. To this man you know who you are. I am so sorry, and I would like to add one more thing. I think I am in love with you. And so I propose this. As an ending to this article and perhaps a beginning to the next chapter in my life, I, Josie Geller, will be at the state championship baseball game where my friends, the South Glen Rams are playing for the title. I will stand on the pitchers mound for five minutes, prior to the first pitch. If this man accepts my apology, I ask him to come kiss me for my first real kiss. Josie: That thing. That moment. You kiss someone, and it's like the world around you gets all hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this other person you're meant to be kissing the rest of your life.

Josie: Sorry I am late.
Ms. Knox: Yes, well, I'm sorry I forgot to take my hot-flash medication this morning.

Josie: Pastoral means set in the country. Originally seen in the Eclogues of Virgil. It's from the Latin pascere. �To graze'.

Guy: I'm Guy.
Josie: Yes, you are a guy. Quite a guy. Oh, my. Look at that- I rhymed. Yikes...Bikes!
Guy: Are you in special ed?

Sam: The point here is that disguise can be liberating, can get you to do things that you never thought possible. For Rosalind, her male costume opened the possibility for the great love of her life.

Josie: Does he notice me? Does he hear my heart screaming his name? Sometime it's so loud I think the gods can hear my pain. His voice is so mellifluous, Oh, to get just one small kiss.

Gus: This is where the stories are. You are going to become friends with these people. You are going to party with them. You are going to hang out with them on weekends. When they go to the prom, you are going to be in their same-damn-LIMO!!

Sam: You know what, I shouldn't be talking about this stuff with you.
Josie: It's okay- it's nice to have someone to talk to-
Sam: All I can tell you is when you're my age, the guys will be lined up around the block for you.
Josie: You have to say that because you're my teacher.
Sam: Actually, I shouldn't that because I'm your teacher.

Sam: Hi, you're here for the sex talk?
Anita: Well, I like a man who gets to the point.
Sam: You're Pam?
Anita: If you say so!

Josie: You know, Adelie penguins, they spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin and when they meet them, they know. And they spend the rest of their lives together.

Josie: So...Surprise.
Sam: Surprise you were doing a story on me?
Josie: No! Surprise, I thought you'd be-
Sam: What? Happy? Why? Because it turns out all along that I was allowed to be attracted to you?

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