John: Fat men don't shovel Bailey.

Walter: There are things you do in public, and there are things you don't.

Walter: Two things we've always had in Mystery is our dignity and our illusions. I suggest we cling to both.

Skank: No, no Charlotte. Um... remember you want to sound out the words. Let's try again.
Charlotte: Skank Martin a master of the stick scores on demand.
Skank: That's right. Good.

Donna: You know, John, every ex-player turned coach says they perfer coaching then playing. Why would they all say that?
John: Because they can't play.

Marla: Does this mean we're done? (after trying to get the condom on Stevie)

Bailey: Forgive me your honor I'm fat.

John: Nervous?

John: Stevie how many fingers have I got?
Stevie: I'm a premature ejaculator.

Charlie: What are you going to arrest me for reckless zamboni driving?

Donnie Shulzhoffer: I hate to say iut, they're done like dinner.

John: We're in this game!