Mother: Remember, boys just want one thing.
Daughter: What's wrong with that?
Mother: They never want it when you want it.

Giddy: Listen to me you crazy frog! I want food we can eat! Burgers, doggies, home fries, eggs over-easy, I'll go as far as French toast, but nothing, nothing fancy!

Larry: That's mine!
Barry: It's mine!
Larry: Who's mom love best?
Barry: Me.
Larry: So, you wanna take the shirt, too?

Giddy: Listen to me you pipsqueak, pistol-packin', package of paramilitary paranoia!
Foxglove: How do you say that so fast?

Jamie: Gilbert when you were born were your parents expecting children?

Mom: And I don't want you to smoke pot.
Daughter: Ma, I just might experiment.
Mom: Well, don't pay for it.

Sign above door at Camp Patton: Abandon Childhood. All ye who enter here.

Colonol: You see that Foxglove? Morons, wimps, and losers.
Foxglove: Same as last year sir.

Larry: I'm going first.
Barry: You always go first.
Larry: Who was born first?
Barry: Me.
Larry: So, give me a break, will ya?
Both: I gotta go!
Kid: Both of you at the same time, that's sick.

Boomer: Hey trash! Didn't anybody ever tell ya that boxing and brods don't mix?

Giddy: Ahh what a beautiful morning. You really think so do you? Boomer, Boomer, Boomer. Boomer!
Boomer: Oh hey Giddy is that you? I can't see I got a canoe on my head.
Giddy: I noticed. Boomer pleasse the lake's the other way.
Boomer: Oh thanks Giddy.
Giddy: Don't mention it.
Boomer: (goes toward the lake, out of control, and falls in.) T think I got a fish in my pants. Oh no, wait that's just me.

Gilbert: This is for you, this is for the horse you rode on. Hehehe. (Colonol shoves him away.)

Officer: You called sir!
Colonol: Of course I'm called sir! I'm a bloody colonol aren't I?!

Eddie: I want to dance.
Flash: Oh yeah with what?
Eddie: I want something tall, lean, and mean.
Flash: There's a horse outside. Why don't you go get it.
Eddie: I'm not into that sort of thing.
Flash: That's not what I heard.