Hank: Most of the time I just think about being some place else.
Aunt Bessie: Then why aren't you?
Hank: Hmmm?
Aunt Bessie: Why aren't you some place else?
Hank: What do you mean?
Aunt Bessie: You're the one that told me people only do what they want.
Hank: Yeah?
Aunt Bessie: So, you must want to be there.
Hank: No. No way.
Aunt Bessie: Then show them you don't need to be there, Hank.
Hank: It's not easy like that.
Aunt Bessie: I don't want you wasting your life in there, Hank.
Hank: Well, neither do I.
Aunt Bessie: Then why are you there?
Hank: Because they put me there.
Bessie: Whey did they put you there?
Hank: Because I burned down the house.
Aunt Bessie: Why did you burn down the house?

Aunt Bessie: You know this office used to be infested with bugs.
Hank: Ah, bugs don't bother me.
Aunt Bessie: No?
Hank: Well, you know they crawl out of the drain in the boy's shower. Sometimes they like hide in the junk pile in the auto shop. They like float around in the soap basins in the sink. You get used to 'em.
Aunt Bessie: I wouldn't.
Hank: There's this one dude in my room, there's 12 of us in this one room, right? This one dude, he catches bugs and puts them on like this little leash.
Aunt Bessie: A leash?
Hank: Yeah, it's a hair leash. He takes out a strand of his hair. He ties it around the bug. The other end he tacks down under his bunk. One time like he had this whole zoo of bugs walking around little circles all over the place. My friend, he grabbed the back of his cafeteria tray and SMASHED 'em all...that was funny.

Hank: So, I don't think I'm gonna get the test. What do you think about that?
Aunt Bessie: Can I ask why?
Hank: No reason.

Hank: (gives tools back) You know somethin'? Nobody does anything to be nice. They always want to get something out of it.
Aunt Bessie: And you believe that?

Hank: (grabs a chip)
Lee: Hank, did your Aunt Bessie offer you a chip yet?
Bessie (Diane Keaton): Oh, well that's what they're there for.
Lee: Yeah, but he has to wait to be asked, Bessie. Put the chip back, Hank...put it back...put back the chip.
Bessie: Lee, I put them out there for the kids.
Lee: You have to understand, he has to wait to be asked.
Bessie: Hank, would you like a chip?
Hank: No thank you Aunt Bessie, not right now.
Lee: Your Aunt Bessie offered you a chip. Now the polite thing to do would be to take one.
Hank: You know what? I don't want a chip right now!
Lee: Eat the chip or no Disney World!
Hank: You know what? I could give a FUCK about Disney World, alright!!

Bessie: We're all really glad you're here.
Hank: Yeah, we should do it again in another 17 years.

Lee: Your Aunt Bessie down in Florida has Lukemia. She's not doin' so well, there's a possibily that she might die.
Hank: I didn't know I had an Aunt Bessie.
Lee: She's been to the house.
Hank: When?
Lee: Right after your dad and I got married.
Hank: Mom, I wasn't born yet.
Lee: Look, I know that I mentioned her to you-she's my sister.
Hank: Well, I didn't know you had a sister.
Lee: You know how every god damn Christmas I say to you, "looks like Bessie didn't send a card again either."
Hank: Oh yeah.
Lee: That's your Aunt Bessie, my sister, and because we're her nearest relatives they want us to get tested, 'cause they can maybe save her life and do a bone transplant or...it's only for a few weeks, doctor says it's O.K. to go.
Hank: Why would I wanna go?
Lee: Because one of us might save her life. Go, go, go, get cleaned up. I'm not going to take you like that in the car.
Therapist : Hank, isn't there something you want to say to your mother before you leave?
Lee:Yeah, but is this going to take long? Because we should go! Hank: Mom, I'm really sorry I burnt the house down.
Lee: Is that it? Because I'm really anxious now to get on the road.