The Old Man: Keep your thought as pure as the water.
Chandler Jarrell: Hey, this water ain't really that pure.
The Old Man: Un-heh, neither are you.

Kee Nang: We'll be there soon.
Chandler Jarrell: Yeah, well, ya' better have a spatula where we're goin' cause my ass is frozen to this yak.

Sardo Numspaa: You've no idea who I am, have you?
Chandler Jarrell: Yes. You're Sardo Numsie. Ha-ha-ha. Look, I don't care who you are. I do care that you kidnapped a little kid, though.
Sardo Numspaa: I could destroy you... *snaps fingers* just like that.
Chandler Jarrell: We wouldn't want that. Listen, bring me the boy, and I'll give you the knife. And then no one will have to be destroyed... *snaps fingers* jus' like that.

Chandler Jarrell: Tell me about the Golden Child.
Kala: Every thousand generations, a perfect child is born, a Golden Child. He has come to rescue us.
Chandler Jarrell: Rescue us from what?
Kala: From ourselves.
Chandler Jarrell: Ah.
Kala: He is the bringer of compassion. If he dies, compassion will die with him.
Chandler Jarrell: So, if something happens to the kid, the whole world goes to hell?
Kala: The world will become hell.

Chandler Jarrell: Hey, that's a neat trick you do, where somebody throws a rock at you and you wave your hand and make it hit something else. Did you ever hear of Ed McMahon and "Star Search"? Do they have "Star Search" in Tibet? Probably not. Probably got "Food Search." But you know what we could do, is we could all go on "Star Search" and we could give the audience rocks, and have them throw them at you, and then you can wave your hand and make them all hit Ed McMahon - hard.

Kee Nang: Gompa, I have ruined myself with the American.
The Old Man: I feared as much.
Kee Nang: He is careless.
The Old Man: But he's brave.
Kee Nang: He is undisciplined.
The Old Man: But he's generous.
Kee Nang: He thinks only of himself.
The Old Man: But if you touched his heart, there's nothing he wouldn't do for you.
Kee Nang: He believes in nothing.
The Old Man: Yet still he does what is right.
Kee Nang: He is a callous, thoughtless fool.
The Old Man: Yes. I too like him very much. It's very difficult not to.