Mrs. Elliot: You drive carefully Lila.
Lila: Why didn't I think of that?

Brother: Oh yeah, French night.
Stan and Mr. B: French night! Oh la la!
Mr. B: Come with me to the casba.
Mary: What's a casba?
Mrs. B: We have french fries.
Stan: French dressing.
Mr. B: Oh french toast.
Brother: And for dessert, we got ice cream. French vanilla.
Mary: And French kissing...with gum.

Darcy: I was thinking along the lines of: I'm pregnant. Can you please pass the turnups.

Mary: Mom what are stretchmarks?
Mr. B: Stretchmarks are the badge of a real woman!

Mary: Mom you never told me Stan's gerbal died. You said he ran away.

Darcy: Stan it took me ten minutes to get out of the car. How am I going to make it to the dance floor?
Stan: Simple, I rented a fork lift.

(Darcy is lying on the bed not joining the guests. Mary observing.)
Mary: Oh, post-pardom depression.