Maria: The men may be the head of the house but the women are the neck and they can turn the head anyway they want.

Angelo: Hey Ian, we're gonna kill ya! Ompah!

Toula: What happened? Biker fight? nose job? What?
Ian: Uh...yeah.
Toula: No, really.
Ian: You don't want to know.
Toula: Oh I don't know. If I had survived an old lady ass-kicking I would want to brag about it.

Maria: Nicko! Don't play with food! When I was your age, I didn't have food!

Maria: Toula, On my wedding night, my mother, she said to me, "Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom".
Toula: Ew! Please let that be the end of your story.

Toula: When I was growing up, I knew I was different. The other girls were blonde and delicate, and I was a swarthy six-year-old with sideburns.

Toula: I had to go to Greek school, where I sat in a room translating, "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"

Aunt Voula: What do you mean he don't eat no meat!!? ... That's ok I make Lamb.