You know how to avoid a hangover? Never allow for there to be six hours after you're done drinking. -Nick
Dubya: The Sunnis, the Kurds...
Nick: ... and the Whey.
I don't want to get a perdicure, so I can't go on a foot date with you. -Tiffany, to Dylan
I'm going to go drown my sorrows in roast beef. -Tiffany
Everyone lusts after men. That doesn't make us, I mean them, gay. -Nick
[Tiffany's] drinking for two now. -Nick, when Trav thought Tiffany said she was pregnant
Did I ever tell you what El Paso means? The Paso. -Nick
Didn't you read the warning label, Tater? -Tiffany, to her cat
Trav: I'm just having fun with my cell phone.
Nick: I'm just having fun with my self... phone.
Oh no. We bumped into a wall. What should we do? Push our wet naked bodies against each other. -Tiffany, mockin Swimfan
Hit 'em and babysit 'em. That's what I always say. -Nick, about hot twelve-year-olds
There were no syllables that sounded like "Sarah" or "fat ass" so you need to get over yourself. -Nick
I told you those rhymin' ass guys were hot. -Nick, about Gulley and Tully
You don't have the same appreciation for salad dressing as I do, being named after it and all. -Nick (whose last name is French)
Christal? What's her name? White person. -Nick
They should subtitle that song "for about two minutes, and then I don't give a fuck." It could be the techno remix. -Nick, about Your Body is a Wonderland
That's my new game. D cup quarters. -Tiffany
You know what I was thinking when I made that spare? I'm big and beautiful. -Tiffany
Is Trav sitting on his balls? -Tiffany
Tiffany: Whould you like some Loreal Preference...
Nick: Cooter gel?
His street name is P. Kitty. -Tiffany, about our cat Patterson
EW! I've got a pointy booger in my nose. -Tiffany
You forget that Nick doesn't like women. -Tiffany
me: He grows on you.
Tiffany: Like a little Asian tumor.
I was a slizzut in first grade. -Tiffany
I never sacrificed my body for the ball. -Tiffany
I was trying to do the mom knee bounce thing, but I just ended up humping you. -Tiffany
A big juicy cock? I don't know how that feels... in my bunghole. -Nick
I'm a sweaty bitch. -Tiffany
Awww... meat. -Tiffany
Look who's back on top! Fanta motherfuckas! -Nick, while playing Sex and the City with the girls