I love you, kinda. -Lindsay to me
I just found it in my crotch. -Marshall
Oh yeah, I'm a doll. -Cailey
Women be shoppin'. -Cory Sheer
Drunk Trav scratched me in a girl fight. What a bitch! -Lindsay
The Trav and Dave palace of love -their hotel room, according to Flippo
I'm just checkin' for lumps here. That's all. -Dave, feeling up his chest
Generally, I am hot. -Dave
Is there an inner J Lo booty inside all of us? -Flippo
Nathan: You'd exercise to get a J Lo booty, right Trav?
Trav: Are you saying that I don't have J Lo booty?
Flippo: Imagine if you had asked Dave that.
me: That scares me.
Trav: I imagine that wuld involve touching and yeah...
me: This is his last session [at OIL].
Tiffany: Then this is MY last session!
Houston! Austin! San Antonio! Dallas! -some guy at OIL trying to hit on Dallas
He's got it on ring and tickle. -Dave, about a cell phone
Back in Korea, where they shot my knees off... -Nathan
Is it in the opinon of the chair that being a conductor of the ho train is not sufficient compensation for the shaggin' wagon? -Flippo
I can't be held down, so I'm having a mobile party, bringing the party to you. -Arthur
We can see it on a map. Baghdad right there. -Dave
I smell what you're stepping in. -Eric
This is a job for more alcohol. -Seamus
Ed: So you're overcompensating.
Person: I'm driving a Miata.
Ed: So you're overcompensating.
Dave, I will stab a cigarette through your pants and into your ass. -Marshall
My mother told me that women don't fart and if they did, it would smell like potpourri. -Isaacs' testimony in Jimmy's impeachment trial
Representative Isaacs, are you aware of the concept of "smelled it, dealt it." -John Mark Thomas
Joe St John: You rolled onto the highway?
JP Jordan: Yes.
Joe: And where was Lieutenant Governor Dubois at this time?
JP: He was laughing at me.
Lt. Gov. Dubois has proven time and time again that he is the type of person who lets his friends roll down hills onto highways while vomiting. -St. John's closing argument
He is a man who is constantly surrounded by flatulence. -St. John's closing argument
We have the same drinking and driving habits... not at the same time thought. -Jimmy, on why he would want to take a road trip with Matt
There's a worldwide debate right now on the issue of ... tractors. -OSU representative
He's a good-looking man. -Kaylan, about Don King
Ryan: Come on Cole, let's pick out the hottest guy in the room.
Cole: I'm gonna need a mirror.
You're making me tingly, Dave. -Cailey, while he was freely oogling her breasts
Cailey (to Jimmy): Do you score when OU does?
Shimko: Dude! Don't tempt me!
I bought some new dress shirts that said unbreakable buttons and I just wanted to eat every single one. -Dave
me: B as in boy.
Tiffany: D as in dog.
Cailey: D as in Dave.
-on bra sizes
Dave: Anytime I can have a nine-inch black cock in my ass, I'm happy.
Cailey: You're gonna crap for a week!
Dave: Oh no.
Go back to the New World, Puritan! -Minister of Confusion and Dereliction and Disruption, Joe St. John
That time has been waived. Literally. -Prime Minister Tully