by DAVE PAYNE SR.

While millions of Americans enjoy their constitutional right to bear arms for self-defense, hunting or target shooting, responsible gun owners understand that freedom stops at the airport.
You can't pack heat on an airplane, even if you are, in fact, a "Real American Hero."
Earlier this week, I saw a shocking photograph in a recent issue of Outdoor Life magazine of a 12-inch-tall G.I. Joe operative, his hands tied tightly behind his back with kite string.
The magazine reported that last summer, security at the Central Wisconsin Airport confiscated an arsenal of two-inch bendable plastic toy guns, which belonged to a nine-year-old boy's G.I. Joe action figures. The boy was traveling to his father's home in Idaho.
 According to the Web site of toy-manufacturer Hasbro, G.I. Joe is a "highly-secret paramilitary organization whose job is to stop the diabolic organization of COBRA from taking over the world." It is commanded by Master Sgt. Duke, who reports only to the President of the United States.
The Transportation Security Administration prohibits many items from passing through security checkpoints, including toy guns and makes no exceptions for the action figures who have for four decades defended American backyards, including mine in the 1980s. 
"(The law) says a toy gun and that's a toy gun," a security company spokesman was quoted as saying in a Stevens Point Journal article. While article reported the toy guns would be returned, it did not discuss the fate of any G.I. Joe action figures the boy might have been carrying.
 According to Outdoor Life, a G.I. Joe operative is still being detained and is only giving his name, rank and serial number. He would reportedly would not betray his mission by saying whether it was to be carried out at the Wisconsin airport or at the home of the boy's father in Idaho, even after extensive interrogation by Dr. Mindbender.
 The Hasbro Web site's G.I. Joe "battle briefing" did not say if the operative was involved with G.I. Joe's current mission, which is to thwart COBRA Commander's diabolical plan to steal American nuclear warheads and replace them with duds. The site reported COBRA's mission would be carried out at a remote missile silo, but did not say if that silo was near the home of the boyás father in Idaho.
It is not also not known whether the captured operative is a member of one of G.I. Joe's  special units like Battle Force 2000, Eco-Warriors, Drug Elimination Force, EXTREME, Ninja Corps or if he was a member of the Classic Collection.
However, I was able to intercept a shortwave radio transmission from Duke, who ordered all future air transportation be handled by G.I. Jane's helicopter and that the operative be freed at all costs. 
I was only able to decode part of the message, which was encrypted by the Navajo Code Talker action figure and transmitted from G.I. Joe's aircraft carrier, the USS Flag, anchored somewhere off the coast of Pakistan. The message indicated that the unidentified operative had been transferred to a COBRA cave base near Bora Bora, Afghanistan and was being interrogated by Cobra Commander himself, Snow Serpent and Skull Buster.
 Duke, Snake Eyes, Tunnel Rat, Shipwreck and Frostbite are reportedly planning to free the unidentified operative and capture COBRA Commander, while Sgt. Slaughter tries to intercept a shipment of Destro's "truth serum" at the Pakistan border before it reaches the COBRA base. G.I. Joe's Star Brigade is reportedly coordinating the mission from the orbiting Space Shuttle Defiant Complex.
I applaud the security at the Central Wisconsin Airport for abiding strictly to the law. The law says what it says. I understand that tight security protects us from real-life monsters who would crash planes into buildings. 
But who, I ask, will protect our skies now from COBRA Commander? Ask a nine-year-old boy.